Before Me, Him

Chapter 46

     Two weeks have passed ever since I left Emily's house. We're starting the third week of September and today is my first day at the University of Languages of Hollum.

     Nothing special happened during this period, my life is the same as always have been except... My way of seeing everything changed. The sky was darker than usual, people were further than usual, their voices were more annoying than usual. I haven't left my house ever since I came back, I don't see any necessity of leaving, it's not like I have plans. I guess you could call this feeling "loneliness"?

     My dad hasn't spoken to me and pretends that I don't exist, that hasn't changed. At this point in time, it doesn't affect me anymore, I can't feel anything towards it besides disgust. I let out a sigh as I pack up my bag with a notebook, a pencil case, and my laptop. As I was passing by my mirror I noticed how I looked. My long straight brown hair was starting to reach my lower back and my dark circles were too noticeable. I haven't been able to sleep properly these past days. I sit down and apply some light makeup to hide them and make myself look more presentable. Personally, I don't really care about this or even about how I dress but I don't want to be left out on my new college, that would only cause problems for my family so I'll just be pretty enough. I was wearing some grey high-waisted and tight denim jeans alongside a white shirt with a black coat on top. Once I reach the door I put on my black shoes and leave. My mom waved me goodbye with a big smile on her face while my dad said nothing, instead he just stared at the television.

     I walk for a couple of minutes until I find the right bus stop and, once the transportation arrives, the people waiting in line start to disappear. I didn't manage to get a place to sit so I had to stand, not that it bugged me. I look around just to see the usual, everyone was focused on their own thing: most people were looking at their phone screens and the rest were just looking out of the window while listening to music on their headphones. There were two people reading the newspaper but, even then, the only social contact was from the people touching me on accident every time the bus would encounter some bumps on the road.

     Today the weather was dull, as usual. The clouds were covering the sun and a cold wind was blowing on the air. Everything pointed to an extremely awful day in the awful city of Hollum.

     Around thirty minutes later I reached the university campus and I wasn't surprised to see that it was only an extremely tall building painted in light orange. "Perfect way to scare people away" I thought to myself. Since we were in a city, there was not a lot of space so the whole university was the tall building with several windows and a main door alongside a small garden with a couple of trees, some benches, and a tiny water fountain. "Terrific" I sighted.

     - Do you need help finding your class? – I look to my side to find a ginger guy looking at me with a beautiful smile on his face.

     - I'm alright, thank you. – I state as I walk inside the tall building. The only good part is that it had a smell of cleaning products which, even though it was not the most pleasant smell, was a good sign.

     I go up the stairs until I reach the third floor and classroom twenty-five. As I enter I see several different faces, none of them known to me. "It's time" I said inside my head "The time to socialize with people you don't want to as come, so just go for it". As I approached a table with several girls and an empty seat I hear a voice behind me.

     - So we're in the same class. – I knew that voice. I look back to see the ginger guy again right behind me. – Want to sit together?

     - Sure. – I say with a fake smile on my face. I didn't really care who would be my table partner. We both sit together at a table in the middle of the room.

     - Don't I know you from somewhere? – he questioned me as he kept looking at me. Honestly, the fact that he wouldn't stop staring was becoming rather uncomfortable. – I have that feeling.

     - I don't think so, I'm sorry. – I start removing my computer and my notebooks from my bag.

     - I'm Rodrick, what's your name? – he kept talking and talking as he would ask me every question he would remember. Why was he so interested in me? It isn't supposed to be like this. Slowly I was starting to regret my decision of sitting by his side.

     - I'm June. – I answered and then, out of a sudden, his facial expression changed as if he had just hit the jackpot.

     - You're William's little sister! –Rodrick said as my eyes widened open.

     - You knew my brother? – I frown my eyebrows. It didn't make sense that he would since there is a big age gap between them. Unless... - How do you know my brother?

     - He was friends with my brother. It was William's fault he died after all. – Rodrick keeps smiling but, somehow it was not a happy smile, instead, it was something else, something I could not find the words to describe. Chills ran down my spine as his blue eyes were fixated on mine. I need to leave.

     - I left something at home Rodrick, I'll see you tomorrow. – I say while packing all my things back in my bag. I couldn't stay here, something was not right. I've seen that look, those blue eyes were lustful, but not in a sexual way. They wanted vengeance. I had those same eyes for a long time, I know them quite well.

     I get inside the elevator and order the doors to close but, as they were closing, Rodrick manages to slip in. I try to open the doors but they were already shut and, out of a sudden, the elevator stops. His hand was on the stop button.

     - Do you need something Rodrick? – I questioned him, trying not to show my fear.

     - I've always wondered how William's sister was. If she would be in the same pain as I was but look at you, all pretty and cute, without a care in the world. –he places one arm extremely close to my head, preventing me to leave and his other hand started to pass by my face. His eyes were focused on me as if seeing all my sins and all my accumulated guilt. I couldn't look away otherwise he would understand my fear. –Don't you think it's better that they are gone? They were such a handful.

     - No I don't Rodrick! That should have never happened, it was an accident. If I could... - I look to the mirror on the back of the elevator. My expression turned into an extremely scared one as I see myself smile. She's back. – I...

     - You what June?– He whispered after approaching his lips into my ear. - What would you do?

     - I would die instead of him! – I said as I started to feel my chest heavy and some hardship to breathe.

     - Then why don't you? You could bring him back like that. – his smooth voice in my ear was almost hypnotizing and, suddenly, I lose the strength on my knees and fall on the floor as tears start rolling down my eyes.