Before Me, Him

Chapter 27

     We just finished having our lunch and, from what I could understand Emily would be going out again today, however, she didn't mention where yet.

     Yesterday I read what I could but the books I rented are extremely large, each one with more than three hundred pages except for one that has around a hundred. They are almost dictionary's and I still haven't made any breaking discoveries that could help Autumn.

    I already searched online and asked different vets so the books are the only thing left. I hope they will tell me something I'm missing or that I might have missed in my research so far.

     Out of a sudden, the phone rings, and I pick it up since Therese and John were busy cleaning things up.

"

- Hello?

Hi June

- Jacob? – I recognize his voice. – Did you need something?

Ruthless as always. Well, I wanted to ask if you and Emily want to drop by, we're having a pool party at my house.

- I do have some stuff to... - I start saying before the phone is taken from my hands.

- They're going! – John says smiling. – I'll take them there!

"

     He hangs up the phone and looks at me.

    - I actually have some stuff... - I'm interrupted.

     - They are nice people June, you know that already so don't do it. – John says while giving me a warm smile and petting my head softly.

     I let out a sigh and leave to my room. I actually needed to read these books so I could try to find a solution for Autumn since he barely ate today, he was getting sicker by the day. I needed to rush but at the same time, I guess John is right. They are not that bad. He is not that bad.

     After getting dressed in my black bikini below my dark blue denim shorts and a large cropped top I tie my hair in two low ponytails. Emily knocks and gives me a warm smile as soon as I open the door.

     - You're coming too then? – she asks.

     - Yeah, I guess. – I answer her question shrugging my shoulders.

     - I was going to ask you but I guess he beat me to it. – she places her pink tongue outside her mouth in a childish way. – I'll be waiting for you downstairs.

    The door closes just to, a few seconds later, be open again by my hands. With everything I needed we hop in John's car and arrive at Jacob's house really quickly.

     Once we park the car in front of the house we are greeted by them, the handsome model trio: Jacob in his red beach shorts, Philip in his green shorts, and Dean in his yellow shorts. It didn't matter how many times I would look at them they are, most definitely, stunning. Their bodies are very appealing, allowing your eyes to travel in every line of their defined muscles, and then, their white smile would blind you for life if you wouldn't be too careful. Jacob waves and, Emily leaves the car as fast as a bullet and runs to Dean's open arms. I slowly get out of the car and thank John for the lift. He leaves and once I turn around I see Jacob standing in front of me.

     - I'm glad you decided to come.

     He was smiling at me, kindly and warm. He always smiles like that to me even though I never gave him any reason to receive such good treatment from his share, at maximum I did everything to push him away from me. My heart started to hurt a bit once I focused my eyes on his and the resemblance to my brother grew larger. I thought I was over this, I thought I would be able to actually hang out around him without reminding myself of William but I guess, even though four years have passed since his funeral, I can't forget him or try my hardest to find him. His smell, his voice, his body, they were all so wonderful, too wonderful for this world, that has to be the reason why he was taken from me.

     Without realizing my hand was on Jacob's warm cheek petting it as my eyes started to tear up. Jacob was leaning more and more towards me and only when his hand touched my cheek I woke up. I was so lost in thought that once I saw what was happening I just removed my hand and walked towards the house. My heart was now aching more because I noticed how Jacob's touch was different from William's. It was just another reinforcement to the idea that they are two separate people and that my brother is really dead. There is no way to avoid that.

     They were all inside however Jacob just stood in the same place, following me with his eyes as if he was under some magic spell. I let out a sigh and enter the house through the front door and as I do I crash into Philip's bare chest that smelled like roses. Phillip places his hands on both my shoulders to prevent the dizziness to spread.

     - Are you okay, June? – he questions as the voices in his background grow louder by the second.

     - Yeah I'm alright, sorry I didn't see you. – I apologize since I was the one in the wrong, I wasn't looking forward as I should be, and, in the end, that was what caused this.

     Philip gives me a warm smile and continues walking towards Jacob. I look at them and I see Jacob's eyes still focused on me but I couldn't understand why the sudden change. At first they were looking at me kindly as if he was a lost puppy that just found a home and now he was looking at me lifeless as if he... had lost someone. I don't really understand it.

     - We're all going to the market, June! – says Emily while holding Dean's hand. – We'll be back in thirty minutes or so.

     I nod and I entered the house. My body automatically led me to Jacob's piano room. As I entered I could swear I felt a small air current flowing against me as if welcoming me back. Slowly I walk towards the piano looking around everything around me, the sun rays were entering through the window gaps, creating a comfortable environment and, all the small dust particles that shined in them looked as if Tinkerbelle had been here, making things fly and turning them to gold for a small amount of time.

    The closer I got to the piano the scarier it would feel. The last time I played it or even sang was one week before William died. Would I be ready to face it? To face him?

     "Don't be afraid, child". Robert's words were echoing within my head however, in his depths I would listen to another voice saying "Don't do it. Be afraid. It's your fault. You can't. You shouldn't."