Couldn't find the perfect GIF for this chapter so I just put a picture of Danielle looking at herself in the mirror, which will make sense soon lol
SMOOCHES! Enjoy.
Chapter Sixty Nine
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I was at a better place with myself and with Harry as the days went by with us spending more time together; getting to know each other more and figuring out things we didn't like about each other, which wasn't such a bad thing. We both are imperfect human beings— we have multiple different flaws and fortunately, our flaws aren't bad enough to draw us apart. If anything, we connect more and have a better understanding of who we are as two individuals living in a world of sin.
My vulnerability decided to resurface on it's own when I found myself slowly falling apart— or... that's what it felt like. You ever have those nights where every negative thing that has happened in your life suddenly comes to mind and you just... cry. You cry until no more tears are able to be formed in your eyes but still feel the need to, afterwards.
And when that happened to me recently, Harry just held me into his arms.
This took place a day after our threesome with Sarah, which consisted of vomiting and reminisce— I was all over the place. I expected Harry to be grossed out and worried that I was going insane but he proved otherwise by just... being there and holding me tightly until I calmed down. And let me tell you... that was the best fucking feeling. He didn't talk to me or question my behavior; he just gave me what I needed at that moment.
Harry was battling with himself everyday and even when he thought he was keeping it concealed, he really wasn't. The thought and the sight of his struggle killed me— it still does. It still does because of how guilty I feel during those times where I can't help but notice the natural bags that he already held underneath his eyes were becoming heavier and the white part surrounding his irises remained red.
Of course, it caused me to be worrisome because I want him to be happy and enjoy how things are with us now, but it was impossible when he was fighting his own demons every night and day.
I began to seek help from Gemma and surprisingly, she already planned on talking to him. She claimed that she was tired of not letting him in to see his niece and watching them play through the window, witnessing how ecstatic her daughter and brother appeared when they ran towards one another. She also mentioned that she wanted us all to spend time with each other— like a family. She missed having Harry around more than she thought, especially since she didn't trust him being over at Zayn's.
I listened, and I listened, feeling warmth in my heart at the thought of us coming together like a true family considering that I don't really have one anymore. My father, who I thought was my father, now resides in Germany again and my mother still acts like I don't exist, which is fine because I'm not ready to speak to her.
On the bright side, Gemma never stopped reminding me that her home will forever be another home for me every time she noticed my mood changing when I reminisced to her about how my life used to be. And although she told me that almost everyday, I still felt like a bother. Who knew that simply falling in love with someone and trying to experience life would get me in this predicament.
Luckily, I still had colleges to choose from, so I knew my time here was only temporary. The worst part about it, though, is that I probably won't be able to see Harry as much anymore. My dream was to attend a school in Germany and although things are very different and difficult for me at the moment, being accepted to a college far out that way felt like a blessing; A blessing to know that god was still on my side regardless of the malicious things I've done.
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Lustful Sinners - H.S
Fiksyen Peminat"Name something sexual that you've done with a man." Harry demanded with an evident smirk on his face, sending immediate chills down my spine. For the pastors son, he's nothing like I expected. "N-nothing. It's a sin." I argued, frowning my eyebrow...
