Lustful Sinners - H.S

53

Hope you guys had an amazing Christmas!
First part of my gift to you. ❤️

Chapter Fifty Three
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Danielle

It's been an unreal feeling to be sitting besides Harry without thinking about the Janet situation and what he's unaware of. When I first turned around to gaze at those piercing green eyes, I fought the urge to breakdown to my knees and cry because he didn't look like himself at all.

He looked so broken and so tired, all of the pain that was hidden deep inside finally blossomed— but not in a positive way. My heart pounded out of my chest and I wanted to hold him tight and let him know that everything will be alright at the end, but he'd probably question my actions.

Moving on to the living room where we are watching a telenovela that we both don't understand, I haven't had an full conversation with him since he's been here and I'm the one to blame. Every time he asked or pointed out something that caught his eye in the soap opera, I would either just smile at him or say, 'Oh, yeah,' with fake enthusiasm.

The awkward tension in the air was evident, but Harry didn't bother addressing it which I was thankful for while simultaneously having guilt resting in the pit of my stomach. Telling him the truth didn't seem like the right thing to do since he just got home, but I also feel like if I don't tell him... he'll hate me forever.

"I'm gonna go shower and wash my face." I announced, standing up from the couch abruptly. I needed a second away from him to regroup, but I didn't see that happening so easily.

Harry took my wrist in his hand, causing me to look over my shoulder at him. His eyes gazed up my legs until they reached my face, flickering his eyes from iris to iris. Damn. "Can we... shower together?"

My cheeks didn't waste no time heating up and that familiar feeling started to build in my lower abdomen, making my breathing a bit shaky. A shower... together? In the same bathroom? Skin on skin? I know that we've done it before but that was... different.

"A-are you sure? I mean: wouldn't you like some space from—"

"Danielle," Harry said, standing up to hover over me. "Why are you pushing me away so much?"

"I'm not pushing you away," I lied, looking away from his eyes. "Just thought you'd like to be by yourself after what happened."

"If anything, I want to be with you." Harry clarified, placing the tip of his finger under my chin and directing my head to face him. "I... I could've never saw your face ever again, Ellie." His voice has so much pain behind it and I'm nearly about to throw up from the constant build up of guilt in my stomach.

Water lightly started to form in his eyes and he quickly made it disappear by blinking his eyes about two times and I couldn't help but melt into his hand after witnessing him become even more vulnerable by the second whilst trying to hide it.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be treated this way if I was in Harry's shoes and I can only imagine how ashamed or embarrassed he felt after figuring out that I'm aware of his drug addictions and I don't want him feeling that way. I won't condone it, but I will accept that it's his past and it might be the only thing that keeps him going through life.

However, that toxic habit has to be removed as soon as possible because he could lose his life and never see the people he cares about again. Harry deserves to live, but he also deserves know the truth whether it gets told tonight or tomorrow, which will be what determines his next move.