In Another Life

Chapter 13

Y/N's POV

Looking over my shoulder, I bite my lip as I watch Kaneki grab ahold of one of the straps on Levi's thigh, yanking on it hard before he points up at the ones that go across his chest. I fumble with my house keys, unable to keep my hands from shaking. When I tried to leave, he refused to allow it. Stepping in my path every step of the way before I finally stopped and looked up at him. I offered him to walk us home, and he didn't waste a minute accepting. The sun was close to setting, disappearing over the tall walls and casting large shadows over the town below. I had made a home for me and Kaneki inside of Ehrmich. It wasn't much, but it was a home to bring my son home from the hospital after I had him. It was a home, and that's what mattered.

"Can I have them?"

Looking back over my shoulder, Kaneki tugs on Levi's belt again before he chuckles, a grin covering his face. I look away, finding the right key before I shove it into the door, unlocking it and pushing the door open. I step inside, holding it open as I look back at the two.

"Kaneki?"

He looks up, fingers still wrapped in Levi's right thigh straps. He looks up to Levi just as our eyes meet. I swallow, clearing my throat.

"It's getting late, Kaneki, we need to come inside and prepare dinner-"

"Y/N."

My name hangs heavy in the air as I close my eyes, hearing it as I hear Kaneki run past me into the house. And when I open them, Levi isn't even a foot away from me. His hand was held out, as if he had stopped himself before he could actually touch me. Our eyes meet as he clears his throat, bringing his hand down to his side.

"I...."

He looks past me to where Kaneki played on the ground with some of the toys I had bought him last weekend at the farmers market. He blinks before looking up at me.

"Don't keep me away from him, not anymore than you already have. I deserve to know my son."

He drops his voice at the end, keeping it only in earshot for me to hear. I nod once, stepping aside to allow him to come in. I wasn't trying to, nor did I want to.

I make my way over to the kitchen after closing the door behind us. I feel him trailing me as I undo the buttons to my uniform, pulling the jacket off my back and tossing it over the back of a chair.

"Want a drink?"

Kaneki runs past us into his room, shutting the door as I hear him dump out his toy chest onto the clean floor.

"No, I want answers."

I nod again, keeping my back to him as I drain my glass before pouring another. The glass grazes my lips again before it's pulled out of my reach.

"Y/N."

Bringing my palms up to my face as I rub it in frustration. He places the glass down on the counter, reaching up and pulling at one of my hands.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?"

I drop my hands, face hardening as I look into his eyes reciting the same words he had spoken to me all those years ago.

"As a man, you have desires, but as my Captain, your actions were inexcusable."

His hold falters on my wrist, giving me the opportunity to reach past him for my glass once more. Knocking it back, I met his eyes once more. He glared down at me, eyes as cold as ever.

"Please, the number of cadets and superiors that engage in such relationships among the scouts is almost the same as our death rate."

I sneer at him.

"Clearly, in the short time span that I spent amongst your ranks, I watched my fair share come and go from your office. You don't need to tell me how common it is, I'm aware."

I make to turn around, looking down before he captures my chin in his hand, forcing my eyes back onto his as he bites his tongue almost as if he were fighting with himself to hold something back.

"I haven't had any-"

He stops, shaking his head as he looks down at the ground.

"Why keep him from me?"

His head shoots up as he ties everything together, looking at me with wide eyes.

"The injury, the transfer...."

He raises his head, eyes on mine.

"You were pregnant... You were pregnant with my son and you knew it. You ran from me."

Pulling my chin free, I walk around him as he begins to rant.

"I came to you that day in Erwin's office, I told you I couldn't fucking stand the space between us. I wanted to....."

I look over my shoulder, shaking my head as Levi brings a hand up to pinch his brows in frustration, eyes squeezed shut.

"I wanted you Y/N, I wanted you so fucking bad I couldn't think straight. I wanted you..."

He drops his hand, eyes locking on me as he comes to grab a hold of me. Forcing me to turn back around, he looks down at me with a pain-filled expression.

"I wanted you to myself, every night, every morning-"

"I didn't want to be more of the same. I wasn't going to be used to be fucked and tossed to the side."

I glare at him in anger, shaking my head.

"I didn't want to be tossed aside by the man who I shared my first time with. I wanted you! And you just wanted to fuck me and cast me aside for another-"

"I'd never let another man touch you."

The room falls silent as he talks over me, raising his voice as he cuts me off. Neither one of us speaks as Levi's eyes trail down my face to my lips and then to my rapidly rising chest. They linger there for a moment before they find mine once more, hunger and desire fueling them.

"You were mine, you still are."

Rolling my eyes, I try to step away, but his hold on my arm tightens.

"Yeah, right-"

He pulls on my arm again, my eyes finding his.

"What part about being mine do you find funny?"

Looking back and forth between his eyes, I quickly determine he isn't playing a game; he wasn't flirting with me. Levi was deadly serious as his eyes bore down into my mine speaking.

"The academy, recruiting."

My brows tug together at the memory. Levi and Hange used to come to the training sessions in the academy; he used to watch my sets.

"If you think you are just more of the same, another cadet entering my bed chambers... You haven't been paying attention over the years."

Bringing my hand up, I run it over my face as I think back, dissecting every interaction, every promotion, every side glance, every order...

My eyes slowly look up to see his in realization.

"You ran, you kept yourself from me for all these years. You kept our son from me-"

I rip my arm from his hold, looking up to meet his eyes as I speak.

"You weren't the only man I slept with that night."

His jaw ticks, lip twitching as his face hardens. Rage fills his eyes.

"I was raped by three other men outside in an alleyway of a tavern that night."

My jaw sets as I look to Kaneki's door before I meet his gaze once more.

"I couldn't say for certain he was yours."