In Another Life

Chapter 141/ Levi POV

                              6 months earlier

Levi POV

The wood snaps and splits, wood chips flying off in every direction as the hatchet cuts clean through the stump.

I have to stop, just for a second as my ear listens in on the house. Sweat drips down the side of my face as I hold my breath.

Her light is on, but the girls are asleep, Anzia too.

It's late, real late. There's no reason for her to be up at this hour. Except for if one of the children were having a nightmare, which I had heard was more then regualr now since removing myself from the house a few years ago.

Anzia didn't like the dark, nor did the girls.

She never told me herself but Rio did. He told me everything...

Maybe she was still awake finishing off her nightly wine, her sex book or whatever she liked to call it. Smut was it? I could never remember.

My lips form into a hard smile just thinking about it.

She'd always got so embarrassed. Her face would turn bright red, and she'd hide whatever it was she was reading from me.

I'm not sure why she bothered, I'd read it the second she went to sleep anyways. I just wanted to know what had her all flustered, all hot and bothered. It always worked out in my favor, I wasn't complaining. The sex we'd have after, was next level.
That's when things were easier..

I listen in for another second, eyes pinned on her window, with the axe resting still in the block of wood. I didn't want to pull it out, bring her attention to me if she was listening in as well.

What feels like a minute passes before I allow myself to pull the axe free, bringing it up against my shoulder to rest.

The candle in her room flickers, casting her shadow across the room, visible from the window.

I try not to look. But it's hard, really hard when every cell in my body has been on fire for the past few years, aching for this woman. I mad a mistake leaving, I never should have gone. But the pain on her face was to unbearable to look at when I knew I was a source of it.

I had already made this mistake once before, leaving. I came to the hard conclusion that there would be no forgiveness this time, no second chance. My time was up with Y/N. I had made my own bed, now I had to sleep in it.... Without her.

I felt it after I left, moved out entirely, the void, the longing. There was still parts of this bond I was trying to work out, make sense of. Things just weren't clear yet, but they became.... Easier when she was around.

I wasn't sure why it hadn't happened before, before the war, before when we had split up during Anzia's pregnancy, this fucking ache. Maybe I never felt the affects, because I never really left and before I had come to terms with her death.

Something changed after the war, snapped into place for us. I still had so many questions without any answers. Things I needed to find out for the both of us, because despite the limited contact over the past few years, I was beginning to worry if this was taking the same toll on her as it was for me.

It wasn't healthy, us being apart. That much was made apparent in all the research I had done. With distance, the bond was heightened, but also brought massive amounts of pain. Sometimes crippling.

I didn't want her to feel any pain, the discomfort, the ache and longing. It was no longer a want, but a fucking need. I felt myself dying, fading away without her.