In Another Life

Chapter 111/ Levi POV

Authors note: warning sensitive content ahead. Mentions suicide. Read at your own risk.
...................................................................

                   *5 years ago, flashback*

Levi POV

"I'm sure he's fine, let's give him his space." I could hear Falco and Gabi outside of my door.

They were sweet kids, almost reminded me of Maya and Kaneki.....how in love Falco was with Gabi.

They often stopped by the tea shop to help and lend a hand, truly some nice kids.

But I couldn't put on the same show for them that I had been for the past year, I was tearing at the seams. Coming unraveled at this very moment.

We had freedom just not each other.

My fist continued to clench into the pillow as I screamed violently into it. I was buckled over on my knees in my room. A pillow in hand to silence my cries for help. I didn't want any, I didn't want anyone interfering.

I could feel how drenched the pillow had become from my tears and spit. I couldn't stop screaming.

I heard Gabi and Falcos footsteps fade down the hallway, and then the bell ring as they left the shop.

Good they didn't need to be around for this.

I pushed myself back allowing my back to fall against the single bed, I had no use for a big one. After all it was just me here all alone. I had no lover, no one to share it with. Y/N she wasn't here to keep me warm at night......she just wasn't.

I brought the back of my hand up to wipe away some of the tears that had fallen, sniffling in the process.

I reached down beside me feeling around for the bullets that had fallen down off of the bed. Rolling in all different directions on the floor.

My fingers found a single bullet grasping it hard in my hand as I squeezed my eyes shut.

This was the only way, the only way I could be with them all again.

I had tried and searched for so long, never giving up hope but... I had nothing to show for all this effort, they were gone. And I was stupid for ever trying to convince myself other wise. It was a sick fucking joke, I was pathetic playing with my own feelings.

I quickly shoved the bullet into the chamber spinning the cylinder that held the single bullet before slamming it shut, carful not to allow my eyes to wonder. I didn't want to know where the bullet ended up, but I had a feeling this was meant to be.

Resting my forehead in the palm of my right hand as I shoved the barrel of the gun into my mouth with my left.

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath. Calming myself, there wasn't any need to be scared anymore. Y/N would shortly be here, she'd find me. Just like we always promised we would. It would only hurt for a short second, nothing compared to the excruciating pain I lived through on a day to day basis knowing my family was gone. My beautiful family, and wife.