A Little Sane

Chapter 135

"No! What are you doing?! Not me! Stop! Let me go!"

Bang!

The thunder and rumble of the ignition stunned Mercedes still. Her vision blurred and her mind ran in a million directions.

"We gather here today to remember the life of Mercedes Ann Helleman - Valeska. A wonderful wife and mother who sadly fell victim to depression and substance abuse. She will be dearly missed by her family and friends."

Bang!

The thunder and rumble of the ignition stunned Mercedes' vision and perception.

Mercedes gripped the counter as her vision settled. She stared at herself in the mirror as tears streamed down her face. She stumbled to the door frame of the bathroom. After catching her balance, she heading straight towards the kitchen.

"Mercedes? Doll face, are you okay?"

She aggressively opened the cabinets and grabbed every single bottle of Alcohol she could find. Jerome stood up from the couch upon hearing bottles being smashed. He rushed into the kitchen to find Mercedes pouring at the liquor. He stared at her shocked. She turned only for a moment to confirm his presence.

"Help me Jerome! This will go faster! All of this shit has to go now! I can't let this ruin everything!"

Jerome did exactly what she asked of him. Mercedes stumbled backwards. Jerome instantly dropped the bottle he was holding in the sink to catch her. He sighed as he stroked her hair.

"Let me finish this okay? How about you go lay down and I'll come in there as soon as I'm done. We can just call it a night okay? Everyone has eaten and the kids are asleep."

The dark circles and tear stains under her sad, weary eyes were enough to sink Jerome into the sadness with her. He slowly shook his head.

"Come on.. Let's go to bed.."

Mercedes' head instantly found his shoulder when he lifted her bridal style. Jerome turned his neck for a moment to quickly kiss the side of her head. Mercedes slowly closed her eyes afraid to drift into sleep. What seemed only a few moments went by. She could hear a soothing slightly raspy voice calling her name in the most comforting way. He eyes weakly opened with what little strength they had left. Jerome kneeling beside her bed had gone to get her a glass of water. He gave her the most loving look.

"Do you think you can try to drink some of this water for me?"

Mercedes parted her lips. He set the glass on the side table and gently grabbed her.

"Here.. let me help you sit up some."

She managed to get half of the glass down. Jerome smiled brightly.

"Good job baby girl.."

Jerome watched his wife drift into sleep. She was alive, but physically she looked somewhere between alive and dead like a zombie. He was struggling to find the girl he met. The one who was dancing around the room singing. That girl was not even an exact version of Mercedes. She was already built with tall walls and locked doors, but she was better back then and Jerome feared that he had killed whatever beautiful version of her she had left. He couldn't get one of her favorite line from a song out of her head. It was a line that she referred to often.

If we are born to die and we all die to live, then what's the point of living life if it just contradicts?

He couldn't understand how he found a woman who was so broken; yet so incredibly beautiful to him. As he laid next to her, he couldn't think about any emotion he had. He had never really thought about his depression or even anything that was wrong with him. The only thing he knew was that he was genuinely crazy. That he knew was never going to change. He turned on his side to face his wife who was lying safely on her back. He laid there staring at her face.