Songs of The Soul (Huntbastian)

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Hunter's POV

Waking up I still felt tired, but not the usual tiredness. It was weird, like a tiredness only in my brain or something. For some reason I felt empty, yet upset? I then remembered yesterday's panic attack and I hated myself for letting it happen. I thought I was getting over all of that, that I had more control of my anxiety. Of course my father just had to bring all of that back when I was least expecting it. I hate my emotions. I hate panic attacks. Fuck anxiety.

I didn't realize I started crying until I felt the tears roll down my face. My breathing got a bit deeper, and I tried to stop myself, but why should I care at this point? I was a wreck and that was the truth. As I just let myself cry, I felt a hand rub my chest and hair tickle my neck. 

"Hey.....you ok?" Sebastian asked, moving his face into my neck. I couldn't find my words, and knew if I spoke he could tell I was crying. I decided just to shrug instead.

I wished he'd just leave alone since I didn't know how to deal with my emotions right now, but he ended up turning me towards him. I was too mentally exhausted to put up a fight, so I let him. 

"What's wrong?" He asked, moving his hand to my face to wipe away some tears. I could see he was concerned for me, but I felt bad for bothering him.

"I-it's n-nothing....." I said, hoping he'd give up, but I should know him better than that.

"I doubt that......you can tell me." He said as I finally looked him in the eyes. His eyes shining in the morning light gave off a certain feeling, a feeling of safety.

"I h-hate......panic attacks.......anxiety.......I-i'm so t-tired....." I finally told him, closing my eyes as more tears fell. He just continued to gently wipe them away, rubbing my cheeks lightly as he did.

"I know, but it's not that easy to control Hunter." He told me and I understood that, but still.

"I.....I used to b-be b-better though......"

"It's not your fault. The body and mind are just......complicated."

"S-seb?" I asked, opening my eyes again.

"Yeah?"

"Do......do you get anxiety?" I asked and he nodded.

"W-what do you do?"

"Well.......I like to listen to music." He told me, looking like he was thinking.

"Or I think of something else. Something good. Like you." He said, smiling a bit.

"Y-you......think of me?" I asked.

"Yeah. I do. I think of your voice......your smile........how much I love you." He said before kissing my forehead for a moment. 

"T-thanks."

"For what?" He asked, raising his eyebrow a bit.

"For the advice." I said before kissing him, wrapping an arm around his back to pull him closer.

Of course the moment had to be ruined as the alarm clock went off, making us both groan in annoyance. I reached behind me to hit the button to shut it up, while Sebastian tried to get up. Though before he could, I pulled him back towards me.

"H-hunter?"

"Yes?" I asked back with a innocent smile.

"We should get up."

"Hmmmmm 5 more minutes?" I asked, rubbing his back a bit.

"We don't want to be late." He insisted.