Songs of The Soul (Huntbastian)

Nightmares

Hunter's POV

It's been almost a month since we've been back in New York, and things seem like they're almost back to normal. More or less I guess. It's the start of a new semester which means new classes and new schedules. Of course this makes the stress a bit higher between us, but other than that it's not too bad. I am way more tired lately since I have classes 5 days a week like Sebastian and I fully understand how he felt at the beginning of college. It kind of sucks.

Ever since New Year's, when Seb kissed me, I've noticed he's been trying to be more affectionate to me.......but something seems off. Like he'll kiss and cuddle with me, but he still feels oddly distant or uncomfortable. Almost as if his heart isn't in it.

 I want to make sure he feels safe around me, but I'm not sure how to help him if he won't open up to me about his feelings. I want to have a talk with him about it, but I know if I push him then he might just react badly. He can be pretty sensitive when it comes to these sort of things and I care too deeply about him to want to strike a nerve. So for now I just let him come to me with the affection instead of going to him. This gives him the control and maybe that's just the best option I have in this moment.

Looking at the ceiling, lost in my thoughts, I just couldn't fall asleep. I was tired like usual, but I couldn't stop thinking about Seb and what's going on with him. Though as I thought that, I felt him shift a bit next to me. He was lying loosely in my arms on his side as I laid on my back. As I gently stroked his side I noticed that he seemed almost......distressed? He must be having a bad dream or something.

What surprised me though is that I thought I heard him mumbling something, but it wasn't clear enough to be able to make it out. I tried to stoke his side more to soothe him, but it just seemed to disturb him instead as he suddenly woke up looking terrified. I tried to place a hand on his shoulder, but he just pushed me away. I decided not to give up since I know nightmares can be pretty jarring when you wake up from them, so I tried to touch his shoulder again.

Then he pushed me away from him......hard.

"Stop!" He yelled at me as I had fallen back onto the bed. As I got back up in a sitting position, I saw he brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as held his head down.

"S-stop.....p-please......n-no more......" He mumbled to himself and I could see he looked really scared and defensive, like I was going to hurt him. Now I was really worried. I've never seen him this bad, so I know something serious is bothering him.

"Seb. Relax, it's me. Hunter. It's ok. You're ok." I tried to soothe him by talking in a soft but clear voice. It seemed to work after a while as he turned to look at me now.

"H-hunter?"

"Yeah....it's just me."

"I'm.....I'm sorry....." He apologized but I said it was ok.

"You were obviously having a nightmare.....I know how bad those can be." I told him and he nodded his head slightly, rocking a bit now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him, waiting patiently for him to respond as he found his words.

"I......I d-dont know." He told me and I could understand why.

"You don't have to, but I'm here if you want to......ok?"

"O-ok...."

I wasn't sure what to say to make him feel better since I didn't want to push him about his nightmare. He seemed really upset by it, so I thought it would be best to just join him in sitting in silence for a while. Not sure how long we just sat there, but Seb eventually spoke up.