Songs of The Soul (Huntbastian)

Same Love

Hunter's POV

Suddenly sitting up in the darkness, I felt sweat run cold. My heart seemed to want to beat out of my chest and I could tell I was shaking a bit. I really hate late night panic attacks and I just had to have one now. I haven't had one in a long time, not since I ran into my father in New York at night. It's not like I can always control them, but I know what can trigger them. It's usually nightmares......for the night anxiety at least. It was now coming back to me, my nightmare, but of course that didn't make me feel any better.

Looking over next to me, Sebastian seemed to be sleeping soundly. I think. It's a bit dark to properly tell. Trying to push away my rushing thoughts, I laid back down on the bed and moved so that my head was on his chest and my hand was resting on his stomach. As I was trying to casually cuddle with him and pretend nothing's wrong, I felt his hand run through my hair which made me jump a little.

"Are you ok?" He asked as his other arm gently wrapped around my waist.

"Sorry.....d-did I wake you?" I asked back. I would feel bad if I did since I know how much he loves sleep. Especially when he's allowed to sleep in.

"Not really. I can also practically feel your heart racing........are you having a panic attack?" He asked me before I pulled away a bit to look at his face, resting my head beside him on the pillow.

"I j-just had a bad dream.....b-but It's probably nothing." I said to reassure him but Sebastian obviously knows me better than that and I should have expected it.

"Come on.....you know it's probably not. Wanna tell me about it? Might make you feel better." Sebastian said as he rubbed my back and planted a kiss on my forehead, lingering his lips there for a bit. I don't know why, but whenever he does that it always helps me calm down a bit.

"Well uhh......I only remember bits and pieces....." I told him honestly, but he said that's enough.

"Well you were there. We were going to Pride, or we were about to leave after getting ready I think.......but my father stopped us at the door." I told him, pausing for a moment as I tried to remember more. Or at least the important parts that upset me.

"Not sure what he said to us, but it hurt. Like really bad. Like when you feel that tight burning feeling in your throat as you hold back tears....." I continued and I felt his hand stroke my hair again. I could see his face looked a bit sad too and I couldn't help but tear up a bit as I remembered the last part of my dream.

"T-then.....for some reason.......we couldn't see each other again, like you were taken away from me and I was thrown into a pit of darkness......all alone......I felt so scared and helpless and......" I said, looking down a bit while I gripped his shirt a bit. I was trying not to let my tears fall, maybe in a way of denying the pain and fear I felt.

"Hey....look at me." Sebastian said as I felt his hand gently lift my head up to meet his gentle but serious gaze. 

"Now I'm not a pro when it comes to interpreting dreams.......but maybe you feel like the good things won't come true or they won't last. As well as you're afraid of being alone and maybe also you feel trapped from something?" Sebastian told me, but all I could do was shrug. Even if there was some truth to his interpretation. 

"But listen to me........Your dad is not going to be at pride. Why would he be there anyway? So forget about him. We're going and it's gonna be tons of fun and we're gonna be really gay and full of happiness and love." Sebastian said with a smile before moving both his hands to hold my face.

"And I'm not going anywhere. If you ever fall into that darkness......I'll be right there with you because I will cling onto you like a baby koala. I promise." Sebastian said, staring deep into my eyes. I couldn't help but finally let some tears fall.