WangXian Forever 3

Chapter 4 Memories

Traveling this time was hard for Wei Ying. His sleepless nights were taking a toll on him, plus the strangely sporadic pain that vanished as soon as he rose and moved about for a bit. But last night had been far worse.

What little sleep he was able to have was torn apart with bad dreams, woken more times than he was willing to count. He would definitely go and see the healers when they got back home to Cloud Recesses.

Now, the very subject of his nightmares stood before him; the broad long steps of Koi Tower.

He took a deep, shaking breath.

Lan Zhan had known something was wrong with Wei Ying for the past few days. Wei Ying had become so much quieter, often drifting into deep thoughts and not responding when he was spoken to. Lan Zhan had thought until this very second, it was the sadness of watching Li XiWang go, but as his husband's breathing became faster, he realized he'd gotten it wrong.

It was too late to turn back now, and Lan Zhan hated himself for what he was about to make Wei Ying do. He grabbed his hand under the watchful eyes of all the other cultivation clans.

"We can get through this. Together."

Wei Ying tried to smile at him but the voices in his head were getting louder and louder.

He concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and desperately tried to ignore the noise in his mind.

This was where his nephew had pierced his side with his father's sword.

"Yiling Patriarch!"

"How dare he return, to where he killed his sister's husband?"

"Murderer!"

"Killer of Jin ZiXuan and Jin Zuan!"

They stopped at the first landing but Wei Ying could no longer see what was right in front of him. His breath was coming out in sharp little gasps.

Shijie in all her wedding finery, so beautiful in red and gold robes, smiling as she turned to show him how she would look on her wedding day. And when he saw her next, she was wearing the white robes of a widow. Hearing his name, she had come as fast as she could, carrying her precious baby son, just to talk to him. This sight was unbearable...

"Breathe, Wei Ying!" Lan Zhan rubbed his arm, trying to bring him back.

Then at the battlefield in Nightless City, she had come, only because she wanted to talk to him. She pushed him out of the way, took a sword to her chest to save him...

Black spots were starting to cover his eyes. Wei Ying swayed, when suddenly, strong arms and a flash of purple took hold his right one.

"I knew this could be difficult for you. Come." Jiang Cheng all but pulled him up those terrible steps.

Lan Zhan had his other arm, so thankful that Jiang Cheng had caught his eye and come to help. They pretended that nothing was wrong, briefly greeted the leaders and took Wei Ying to their room.

He passed out as soon as Lan Zhan helped him to the bed.

"What happened?" Jiang Cheng asked, frowning at his brother.

"It's my fault. I didn't know how badly this place would affect him." Lan Zhan sat next to his husband, cradling his face.

The worry lines disappeared on the unconscious man's face, soothed by the familiar touch.

"Is he still having trouble sleeping?"

Lan Zhan looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Jiang Cheng shared his expression. "He hasn't told you, then." He sighed. "Ask him when he wakes up. It's probably a combination of things that made him have a panic attack."

"Panic attack?" Lan Zhan felt as if someone had thrown cold water at his face. "Explain." It was time to take charge.

"He'd get them frequently when he was younger. All it took was a stressful situation and he'd lose it. Mostly dogs, but my mother could also induce one." Jiang Cheng smiled sadly. "He never told anyone, but we shared a room. I wasn't blind." He walked to the door. "Shall I send food? I doubt he will want to attend the banquet."

Lan Zhan nodded, his focus solely on the man in front of him.

"Don't worry, I'll explain to the..." His voice faded away as the doors closed behind him.

Lan Zhan could care less.

Again, Wei Ying was suffering because he was careless. His clan had made them come here, to this hated place. In fact, now he had that thought, he couldn't remember being happy here, ever. All his memories involved Wei Ying walking away from him.

Lan Zhan filled a bowl with cool water and wiped his husband's face gently, regretting coming to JinLinTai at all.

He was so immersed in his thoughts and what he was doing, that he jerked at the warm hand on his shoulder.

"I knocked but you didn't hear me." XiChen looked down at him, worried. "Are you alright?"

"No." Lan Zhan replied, bitterly.

"How is Brother Wei?" With permission, XiChen held his wrist, checking his pulse.

"But why is Brother here? Uncle said you were busy." Lan Zhan was a little confused.

"I'm sure we will find out properly tomorrow, but Jiang Cheng said it was urgent, that I should make a point of being here." His brow furrowed, but he didn't say anything more.

"What can I do?" Lan Zhan stood up, also worried.

XiChen carefully hugged him. "Nothing for me. Just look after your husband." He smiled as he was leaving. "I'll see you tomorrow, Didi."

Lan Zhan couldn't help smiling at that welcome name. His brother hadn't called him that for a long time. And it took this place to do it.