WangXian Forever 3

Chapter 5 Clarity

Wei Ying woke to find a weight on his chest and in his bones. He didn't want to wake Lan Zhan, so he stared at the ceiling, wondering where they were. The pale yellow decorations reminded him of Koi Tower and slowly, he remembered climbing up those awful steps.

"You're awake." Lan Zhan lifted his head, eyes red and puffy.

"My love, why are you crying?" His voice felt rough.

Lan Zhan rose to get him a cup of water and silently watched him take a sip.

"We need to talk." Lan Zhan said, firmly.

"Okay." Wei Ying watched him quietly, wondering what had upset him so much.

Lan Zhan took the cup away and held his hand. "Wei Ying...has not been truthful."

"What?" He was surprised. "What do you mean?"

"You haven't been sleeping. You didn't want to come here. You have panic attacks." All throughout, Lan Zhan pinned him with his gaze.

Wei Ying scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly. "I'm sorry. I should have said something."

"Why?" Golden eyes stared back, accusingly. "You said, together."

Wei Ying felt really bad about this. Lan Zhan was taking this so seriously...and before he knew it, his arms had gone around stiff shoulders, and his eyes wouldn't stop leaking.

"I'm sorry. I really am! I didn't want to worry you."

Lan Zhan made a noise of disgust. Reluctantly, he hugged him back. Wei Ying winced and he noticed, pulling away immediately.

"What hurts?" He demanded.

"My back. But you checked it before-" he was still speaking when he was turned over and placed on his front, robes pulled up and out of the way. He shut up and let Lan Zhan examine him.

He poked and pressed but again, now there was no pain.

"I told you, you have magic hands. There's no pain now."

Lan Zhan turned him over so he could look into his eyes.

"When did it start?"

"Umm...I think when we got back from Guan Lo. Maybe a week after that?" Wei Ying dared not look away. Lan Zhan was a bit frightening when he was determined.

"And the insomnia?"

"About the same time."

"Panic attacks?"

"They...they don't happen so much now."

"Jiang Cheng said they happen when Wei Ying is stressed."

He nodded.

"Why did you not say anything?"

"I honestly didn't think I would have one. Please, Lan Zhan, I don't know what to say. Can you forgive me?" He wiped his eyes again.

"No."

"No?! What do you mean!?" He wailed and held onto his husband. "I'll do anything! Please!"

"Wei Ying must promise." Lan Zhan tugged him back to look into a distressed face.

"Anything." He whispered.

"Wei Ying must tell me everything. No excuses."

He nodded. "I promise."

Lan Zhan handed him a bowl of food. "Wei Ying must finish this."

He picked up the chopsticks and began eating.