Sorry, I'm Not Into Bestiality

Chapter 38 -- "I should've stayed at home today."

Chapter 38

JAMES' POV

 

2 years later...

 

"So a guy walks into a bar," Sean begins, sipping at his McDonald's milkshake loudly as we sat in the 100° heat, "And he's got a pet alligator by his side."

"Sean, not this again..." I groaned, slowly feeling the effects of being stuck in a car for six hours with the new transfer officer taking hold.

A transfer officer who should really invest in some deodorant...

"No no, bear with me-- this one's funny." He replied, almost giggling like a school girl as he shifted slightly in his seat, "Guy walks into a bar, he puts the alligator up on the counter and turns to the other people there."

"He says, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this here gator's mouth and put my dick inside.'"

I looked at him in slight apprehension.

"Stay with me, stay with me." He defended, continuing to giggle under his breath, "The gator, has to close his mouth for one minute; then he'll open his mouth, and this guy's junk will be out INTACT. He then says that if he does this, everyone there has to buy him a drink."

" So these people agree, the man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and puts his dick in the gator's mouth. The gator closes his mouth, and the crowd's like 'HOLY SHIT!' After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and hammers the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his junk, untouched, as promised."

"Then he stands and gives another offer: 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try'. Everyone's quiet then this little woman at the back goes and puts her hand up saying that she'd try it-- but he'd have to promise not to hit her over the head with a beer bottle first."

By the end, he was chocking on his own spit from laughter.

I sighed loudly, "Really man?"

"Oh come on! You have to admit that's funny." He declared, taking another sip of his drink before placing the plastic cup back in the cup-holder, "So how long is this going to take anyway? We've been here for hours..."

"It's literally been twenty minutes." I replied, starting to question how this middle-aged balding fat man ever made it on the force, "Besides, they said the truck was a good few miles away. So until it arrives, we stay put."

"Yeah yeah..." He muttered, stretching slightly and taking up even more room in the already rather cramped car, "Should've brought some fries with me."

How?

How did he get on the force?

"Sir, we've got a visual on the vehicle; coming to you due West at around 70MPH, please advice, over." A voice crackled through the radio, Sean yawning loudly as I went to answer the message.

"Copy that station, continue on pursuit down route 85 and we'll apprehend when situation allows it; force may be needed, over."

"Copy that, following your lead Jim."

"So what's all this about then? What's the big deal about this so called 'truck'?" Sean asked, his arm leaning against the window as we sat in the blazing heat of Virginia's summer.

"... Do you listen to anything I tell you?"

"Eh, sometimes."

I closed my eyes and counted to ten in my head slowly, finding it within myself not to strangle the guy's fat neck in his seat, "We've got a suspicious truck, driven by wolves, crossing the territory. There's something off about it so we're going to investigate; that got through to you good enough?"