Sorry, I'm Not Into Bestiality

Chapter 5 -- "I'll skin you alive!"

Chapter 5

Christopher's POV

"So, how's it going?"

"How do you think?" I clipped, staring intently at the guest-room whilst struggling to come to terms with how far up shit-creek I'd gotten. The sheer shock of finding her was yet to wear off, and the resulting convolution of frustrated relief was growing in strength day-by-day.

"Yeah, I'll shut up," Cody muttered, sucking his teeth as he joined me in leaning against the banister. He watched the violently shaking door with an awkward wince, "Stupid question."

Danielle had woken up about thirty minutes prior, her shouts of enquiry quickly shifting into threats that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger's balls tighten. It was never the plan to bring her here, but I'd run out of options and this was the safest bet I had. I shouldn't have brought her here...

Sighing, I ran a hand through my dishevelled hair and ducked my head in exhaustion, "Sorry, man. It's just with finding her and this happening..."

"I know. Trust me, we're all as shocked as you are right now."

Despite everything, I snickered quietly at how unintentionally rude he came across, "Thanks."

"Well, it's the truth," He shrugged, unashamed to speak his mind after all these years. A moment later, he leant forward with his arms crossed to better hear what she was screaming, "...Wait, is that--?"

"--Russian."

"...Russian?" He repeated incredulously.

"Yeah, turns out she went to school in Russia," I explained lightly, nodding with lips pursed into a tight line. The ridiculousness of the situation grew with every fact I learnt about her, and as inconvenient as it was; she was now my responsibility whether I liked it or not.

"Oh."

"...A military school," I finished, adding the cherry on top of this already f*cked situation. The fact that she even existed was a miracle, but to say this was probably the worst-case scenario right now would be an understatement. I glanced at my best friend from the corner of my eye for the first time since his appearance, his eyes wide as I smiled painfully and added tightly, "She was top of her class."

"... Holy shit," He swore, blinking slowly as he turned back towards the door, "So she's not talking a big game right now?"

"Nope."

He kept looking between me and the door, "She could actually--?"

"—Yep."

"And she has no idea why's she's here?"

"None whatsoever," I quipped, turning around and leaning my hands against the banister that over looked the front door of my house, "However she has gotten it into her head that she's been kidnapped by vampires."

After a moment of processing he simply replied, "Shit."

My earlier attempts of talking to her hadn't exactly gone to plan. Walking in on her trying to smash the window open with a chair wasn't on the top of the list of things I was expecting and I was so taken aback that I froze, only just managing to catch her at the last second as she dropped the heavy furniture and made a break for the door.

Her cry of pain was an instantaneous reminder that I needed to be more delicate, my gut reaction being to immediately let go whilst barely dodging the fist that came flying towards my face. Apologising, the next few minutes were spent trying to explain what was going on but it quickly became a lost cause.