Letter 9

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It’s so funny
I try to turn things back

- Can't love you anymore, IU feat. Oh Hyuk

Restless.

I remember feeling restless and queasy at the same time when I first learned of our first hanging out together, just the two of us with no friends to tease and chat with.

It was different.

It was nerve-wracking, I never went out with a guy who likes me nor have I sneak out and told a lie to my parents just to see a boy.

I feel like I'm a criminal doing bad things and hiding them from the police. Till today, I could remember vividly the sweat from my palms, the rapid beating of my heart, and the ball of tension inside my stomach.

Never would I have thought that I would have so many first with him and never in my dream would I know that this person, him, would give me a lot of emotions and make me do things I normally wouldn't.

I guess when you fell in love, you kind of become different as if the world works differently from your previous impression.

It was all a memory now and even still, it's still aching, like something was lost. It was like a  jigsaw puzzle where one piece was missing, a dull throbbing of pain every time I remember him.

***
Letter 9 is up!

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