Flickers

Chapter 114

So that was it. I graduated.

I thought before that something would change perhaps a transformation of mine; mentally or physically. There was none. I remained the same yet I could feel the marching of time slowly creeping on me, urging me to take a leap and savor the months that were left for me.

College.

I'm afraid I have not accepted the fact that I would be a college student in a few months, it hasn't stuck to my mind yet even after two weeks of vacation.

"What course would you choose?"

My mother asked opposite of me, her hands placed on the table as I look at her in surprise. Yes, I have to decide on a course- I just haven't had the time to tell my mother what I wanted to.

"Perhaps a teacher?" She suggested, I knew parents would urge their kids to achieve their dreams or let them take a much financially beneficial work.

I sighed in relief at my initial decision, if I hadn't realized my dream I would be conflicted right now.

"Yes, specifically in the Filipino department"

She looks much relieved now with her loosened shoulders and genuine smile. She parted me in the back while she told me of the advantages of being a teacher; a work that I could do for a long time.

Soon I went upstairs while my mother chatted with her friends outside. My brothers were still out of the sea since it's the summer season where they won't be disrupted by storms and big waves.

Eric: Ange, I have something to say to you today

Ange: Why so serious? What is it?

It has been quite some time since I've seen him, he told me he was busy in his home and couldn't get out of his house for the time being. I was busy as well since my brothers brought bountiful fishes that my mother and I have to wake up early and sell to our neighbors.

Eric: I can only say it in person, let's just meet near pure gold

I don't know what made him want to talk to me personally but I have a bad feeling. It's a very cliche thing to say 'Let's discuss it in person and then the next thing it's a breakup. I tried to calm the frantic throb of my heart but I just couldn't do it, I can't calm down.

I wanted to go there and ask him outright if he wants to break up or something. I tried to think of happy thoughts but to no avail, my brain made up conjectures of what would transpire today.

Laying on my bed with messy thoughts, the day turned mellow and much cooler than an hour before. It was an afternoon that I finally left the house with a pounding heart, my hands twitching as if they wanted to crush something as I walk into the familiar place we always hang out.

"Eric, you're here" my voice high-pitched in nervousness. I let him hold my hands after I patted them on my shorts to get rid of the sweat.

"Why are your hands so cold?" His brows furrowed as he warms me up, his shirt somehow wet from the weather contrasting against my cold ones.

"It's fine, what do you want to talk about?" I take my hand out of his, he looks a bit startled before returning to the gentle expression of his.

His head looked up, in those pupils I see hesitation and I felt my heart no longer beating for three seconds before I returned to life.

"What is it? You're making me nervous" the smile on my face was stiff, I couldn't hold it longer and just look at him.

"Um... I have to leave... "

I got cold feet, the son who was about to take his slumber was still hot on my face, the noisy crowd became quieter in my ears till it was gone.

"Leave? Are... Are you going to b-break up with me?" I try to blink the tears away, I just wanted to cry out loud in public. Whimpers could be heard as soon as I stop the sobs from leaking out.

"No, no!  My family would live in Cavite this next month but we would still be together. There is no breaking up!" He sat closer to my side and wiped the tears on my face but I didn't let him.

I covered my weeping face with my hands, my chest heaves up and down and I find myself somewhat unable to stop from crying. Sobs wracked my whole body, I didn't care about the eyes of the people looking at us and the whispers of disapproval from the elders, I just cried.

I don't want him to leave. I'm so, so selfish. I hate this.

***
Fun fact: He really did go to Cavite and left to live there

Chapter 114 is up!

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