Flickers

Chapter 15

Ten steps are not enough
A thousand steps might still not be enough
In the end, I cast the nonsense spell
Of making bad memories disappear

- Obliviate, IU

I'm moving on, so what I usually tell the people around me.

It was hard, I thought I could be like the characters in some movies when they snap back into life after an hour but it wasn't. This is my reality, something I badly wanted to escape right now.

"Angelica, if you need someone to talk to you can talk to me or our school's guidance counselor" our class adviser gently advice me which I softly refuse.

I don't need a stranger to pry open my head apart, give words that would motivate me but in the end, won't heal me. It's such an easy way to say that you can talk to others about your problems so you can feel better, but then again your lips wouldn't open and were sealed till the other person left.

"Ange, here's some candy" Alyssa gave me a dynamite candy, her eyes were filled with anticipation. Right now, I kind of hated how they treat me like a fragile glass, something that is easily broken when I'm already broken.

"Thank Aly" I put it inside my mouth, the sweetness washed over me but the sour tang of my tears was reminiscent of my endless nights of mourning.

The class resumed, I'm already in my ninth grade and two more months to go until I reached grade 10. There are rumors about two years of school being added to us in 2013 and now, it seems like it will be taken off. Nowadays a lot of people began to complain about NoyNoy's plan in extending their high school years.

(AN: As prescribed in the Enhanced Basic Education Act of 2013 (the Act), in June 2016 DepEd will launch senior high school (SHS) nationwide, a new level of basic education consisting of grades 11 and 12)

Now that class has resumed, my blank head was now filled with noisy surroundings, from chatters to shouts and lectures to assignments. My head was filled with nothing but school and for once, I'm relieved.

I'm relieved to be thinking about something else rather than my father's long-gone existence.

"Come on Ange, your knight in shining armor has arrived!" I saw Faith waving her hands towards me, beside her was Irish and Eric who gently offered me a smile which I gladly returned. It felt stiff but it was good to smile.

"What? So I am a damsel in distress?" I joked and felt bad seeing the awkwardness in Faith's face.

"Yep, a beautiful damsel in distress indeed" Eric butt in, and I smiled gratefully in his direction.

"Your highness, we've reached the door" Meryl acted like our chaperone and opened the door widely making it seems like we're gonna go out of a castle making me chuckle.

We then get out of class, my eyes alert for my cousin's figure lest he informed my strict brothers of Eric's existence and his role in my mundane life.

The way to home was filled with laughter as we sang our lungs out over the radio that manong, the tricycle driver opened after Faith's persuasion. It was Love yourself by Justin Bieber, now an all-time favorite of every heartbroken teenager as well as the radio.

(AN: Manong a Filipino term reserved usually for a person older than you)

"You sing well" I look beside me, my hair was beaten by the air into multiple directions, and with a sliver of an opening, I see Eric's wide grin.

We were sitting in the back of the tricycle, arms brushing past each other as I feel the warmth emanating from him. His eyes were a gentle pair of his black twilight eyes, staring deep into me as I brushed off a strand of my hair and smiled.

"You too" I joked and I heard him chuckle, it was much deeper compared to when I was a few feet away from him.

"I'm glad" his eyes stared right back at me as I peered into his, I can feel the double meaning that came off of him, I paid no heed to it furthermore and just plainly smiled at him.

It's been two weeks since I've chatted with him through my phone, he did greet me every morning and night. He didn't ask me if I, was okay now or if I needed someone. He just stayed virtually close to me, like a reminder that he was there ready to take whatever I give.

And I'm thankful for that.

"I'm also glad... thank you, Eric"

Then we laughed together, no jokes not funny things were mentioned and seen but tears still pooled in my eyes.

"Hey, hey! You two lovebirds! Mind telling us what's funny!"

"Nothing, go back and sing!" I screamed back and for once, I finally smiled with ease.

***
Chapter 15 is up!

It'll be okay, soon or maybe not now, maybe years will take to make you feel okay again but you will soon heal.

Have a great day everyone! Stay safe and healthy!

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