Flickers

Chapter 65

Jealousy still runs through my veins no matter how much I tried to eject it out of my body.

It was a sickening feeling, an emotion I wish would be buried in the depths of hell but it would always come back haunting me.

Seeing Eric taking his classmate's bag when I don't even let him take mine was irritating to see. What's more to see him laughing happily with others while I stand there waiting for him for a long time made me glower in bitterness at him.

"Eric, your girlfriend is here," someone noticed me and I fixed my expression.

It's nice that you still know he has a girlfriend.

"Bye guys!" He waved back at them and held my hand naturally, if I didn't saw the scene earlier I would have to hold it tightly but I just take my hand away from him and put it in my pockets.

I then proceeded to walk leaving him confused and after a few seconds, I heard his steps running towards me.

"What's wrong? A-Are you angry? Have you waited for too long?" I could see the worry in his eyes and voice but I paid him no heed.

Every time I was angry at him I would stay quiet the rest of the day with him and ignore him.

It was one of these moments where I would just snap out in anger and sometimes vent it to him which I would try to avoid but at times, my emotions would burst.

So I stayed quiet, I didn't want to speak of bad things and further worsen our relationship.

He didn't continue his questions and just peek at me from time to time and when we arrived at pantok, I crossed the lane and walked till we've reached our tambayan but I continued on walking and walked past by it. Then suddenly his arms were on mine, his eyes were filled with uneasiness and I press down the guilt that was eating me away.

(AN: Tambayan means the place where you or your friends always hang out)

"What happened? Ange, can you please tell me?" His voice was pleading but I didn't want to back out and be seen as a hypocrite.

"Nothing happened, I'm just in a bad mood right now"

I didn't wait for his reply and turn my back at him and continued to walk to my home, if not I wouldn't help but cry in front of him.

I take my mind off my jealousy, it was like a switch, whenever I return home and leave for school the emotions I have gathered in the two places would be switched off.

"Mom said to cook this" my third brother Jonnel gave me three packs of lucky me and five eggs, it would be our dinner for this evening.

Money has been low today, storms gather in our place, and my brothers couldn't fish out on the sea. My mother, on the other hand, got sick so we have her go to the hospital.

I finished cooking all of our food and we soon ate together at dinner, washing the dishes were done by my second brother and the rest have their chores to do. I went into my room to finish my activity for tomorrow and can only ask for my friend's help when it comes to searching for something on the internet. 

As the night progresses everyone lay on their beds and have their eyes close but not me, Eric wouldn't stop calling and texting me, trying to reconcile with me.

It was him who has always lowered his pride and I who is the winner but it felt like I was the loser all this time.

Eric: I'm sorry ange, I may not know what I have done but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for making you angry.

I wanted to close my eyes but his words haunted me so I didn't.

Eric: I'll be better to you, please ange, forgive me.

He doesn't even know why I'm angry at him but then again jealousy always bites me in the ass at any time so I don't blame him. My emotions are all over the place as always, I just wish we could stay happy all the time in our relationship.

That would only be achieved if I stop getting jealous every time I see him with a girl and restrain myself from questioning our relationship.

The first step is forgiveness.

Ange: I forgive you

And that is how our fights, the majority of them, ended.

***
Chapter 64 is up!

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