i know i love you | hueningkaixreader

thirty one.

Kai: Hey. Can we meet up?

Me: sure, what's up?

Kai: I think we need to talk

Me: okay, where should i meet you?

Kai: The stream

Me: i'll be there in twenty minutes

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When I got to the stream, Kai was sitting at the edge of the walkway with his jeans rolled up and his feet barely touching the water.

"Hey," I said as I sat down next to him.

"Hey." He leaned to one side as he pulled something out of his back pocket. "Here. I forgot to give you these earlier."

"Peruvian lilies?!" I took the somewhat crushed green flowers from him. "How'd you know these are my favorite? Let me guess, did Taehyun tell you?"

Kai shook his head. "Actually, no. I've always known." He brought a hand up to the side of my face and started caressing my jawline with his thumb. "I pay a lot more attention than you think."

I smirked at him. "Alright then. What's my favorite ice cream flavor?"

"Pistachio."

"How about my favorite pizza topping?"

"Mushrooms. And you despise pineapple pizza."

"But you love it."

"Correct." Kai grew silent for a second as he looked off into the horizon. I could tell he was thinking of what to say next.

"Kai... I don't think you brought me here to talk about pizza toppings."

He turned back toward me and nodded. "I didn't." He sighed as he took my hand in his, which was surprisingly soft. "We need to talk about... what's going to happen next."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... Taehyun woke up this morning."

And that's when I felt myself go dizzy. I didn't know what to think or say next. But I did feel a wave of dread overcome me as Kai said the words I didn't think I'd hear for a long time.

"Y/N... I know it might be too early, but... I need to know how you really feel about me." Kai let go of my hand. I wish he hadn't. "You can be honest. You don't have to worry about hurting me."

"But I've already hurt your best friend." Kai looked down with a look of guilt on his face that I'm sure was painted across mine too. "Kai, I don't want to hurt you too."

"Are you saying..." Kai gulped. He looked like he was on the verge crying. "Are you saying that you're not going to tell me how you feel about me?"

I pressed a hand to my forehead. "I'm saying... I don't know."

Just as I said those words, a gust of wind blew, causing Kai's hair to obscure half of his face. I couldn't see his reaction now, but maybe it was a good thing. I didn't need to see him in any more pain than he already was.

I took his hand in mine and interlaced our fingers. I don't know why I did it, but it did bring the slightest bit of comfort. "You don't know how much I wish I could give you a straight answer," I said softly.

"But you can't." Kai released his hand from mine and stood up. "I get it. I know he still lives in the back of your mind. And I know you're even more confused now that he's awake." He started putting his socks and shoes on.

"Kai, where are you going?"

"I'm going back to the dorm and thinking about how much I fucked up by kissing you." He started walking away, but I grabbed his arm.

"You didn't fuck up!" I took his face in both my hands. "Kai, look at me."

He continued to avoid my gaze.

"Please?" His eyes slowly made their way on mine. "I can't tell you exactly how I feel, but I promise I do feel something for you."

"And what about him?"

I removed my hands from Kai's face. "I don't know..."

Kai scoffed. Then, without warning, his lips crashed down on mine in an aggressive kiss. It was as if it carried his pain and confusion and anger. At first, I didn't kiss him back. But when I felt his arms wrap around my waist, his fingers digging into my sides like he didn't want me to go...

That's when I succumbed to the craving I felt in my heart.

I tilted my head to breathe before I deepened the kiss. All the anger was now replaced with longing. I never wanted him to stop.

So when he pulled back, I was at a loss for words.

"I hope that helps you to make up your mind."

Before I could respond, Kai walked away.