i know i love you | hueningkaixreader

forty one.

(kai's POV)

My mind went blank as she said the words I didn't expect to hear.

"Y-you do?" I asked in disbelief. I was probably dreaming.

She nodded as tears gleamed in her eyes. "Yes, Kai. I do. And that's why this hurts so much for me. Because I love you and I literally don't know what I'm going to do without you."

"How can you say that and tell me to stop seeing you?!" I exclaimed. She looked at me, alarmed, and suddenly I wish I hadn't yelled at her. "Y/N... I'm so sorry—"

"I thought I told you not to do that," she said quietly without looking at me. There was the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice. "I thought I told you not to apologize when you're not at fault." She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of my car.

"Y/N!" I called out. I followed her to her door and grabbed her arm. "Wait, so that's it?! You're just gonna ignore me for the next three weeks?"

She turned to me. Tears were streaming down her face. "It's what I have to do."

"But... that's not fair."

"Kai, none of this was fair to him!" she cried. "Yes, I love you, but I care about him too! He still matters to me! A lot!"

"He matters to me too... But so do you—"

"I'll be gone in three weeks and who knows if we'll ever see each other again? I'm not worth it—"

"No, you are—"

"Kai, please—"

"You're worth it to me—"

"But he's your best friend!"

A breath escaped me as I realized that she was right. Just a few days ago, I was so worried about hurting Taehyun even more than I already had, and now here I was practically begging to betray him.

I had no right.

Y/N brought a hand to my face to wipe the tears I didn't know were falling. "Kai... You don't know how much I wish I'd met you first..."

My heart shattered into a million pieces.

If only you had...

She tip-toed and planted a gentle kiss on my cheek. "This might be goodbye... or it could just be a see you later... But whatever happens, thank you, Kai."

"F-for what?"

Y/N smiled. "For making me fall in love for the first time."