i know i love you | hueningkaixreader

forty three.

My hands were shaking uncontrollably as I sat in the waiting area of the hospital. A thousand questions were racing through my head.

I was scared to face him. I was scared to look him in the eye and tell him everything that had happened while he was recovering. He'd been anything but kind to me. Anything but caring. He didn't deserve any of this.

But he did deserve the truth.

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"Taehyun?" I said quietly as I entered his room. "It's Y/N."

He sat up slowly and reached his arms out to me with a huge smile on his face. "I've been waiting for you to come see me again..."

I met his embrace and buried my face in his shoulder. I held onto him a little longer than I should've because I wanted to savor this brief, sweet moment. I wasn't crying yet, but I knew that I would be soon.

"Are you wearing the perfume I gave you a few weeks ago?" he asked as I finally pulled back.

I nodded. It was the perfume he gifted to me after our first week of dating. It smelled like fresh peaches, a scent that reminded me of my childhood. And now it would forever remind me of Taehyun.

"How are you feeling? Are you still on pain meds?"

"I'm doing much better. Doctors said I'll be on pain meds for a while, but... They did say I'm healing faster than they'd anticipated." Taehyun ran his fingers through my hair. "How about you? And how are the boys? Are they treating you alright?"

This was the moment I'd been dreading. I wouldn't let myself meander around his questions. I wouldn't let myself sugarcoat my answers.

"Taehyun..." I gulped. "There's something you need to know..."

"Hold on, you said that last time in the same exact tone... Are you sure Beomgyu didn't wreck the dorm?"

"It's not about Beomgyu..."

"You're worrying me, Y/N. What happened?" Taehyun tucked my hair behind my ear and brought my chin up. "I'm here to listen. You can tell me anything. I promise I won't get mad."

That's because you don't know what I'm about to say. "Taehyun, before I tell you, I want you to know that none of it was planned. It just... happened. And that... I'm to blame for all of it."

Taehyun only nodded. I could tell he was already thinking of what I could possibly have done wrong.

"The first day after I learned about your accident, I felt... lost. I was confused, really. And I felt guilty—"

"Guilty? Y/N, you didn't do anything to cause my accident—"

"I realize that now, but... Back then I just was in a really bad place, and I needed someone who could understand my pain. And I figured... no one could be in more pain than Kai."

I paused to watch Taehyun's reaction. He didn't say anything, but his eyebrows were furrowed.

"He's a really good friend, Taehyun. He really cares about... everyone around him. And..." My eyes were watering. "...He was the one who helped me overcome the fear of losing you. He was the one who helped me out of that dark place."

"Oh, Y/N," Taehyun said softly as he wiped my tears. "Take your time."

I held his hand and intertwined our fingers. "This is going to hurt you and again, I'm really, really sorry... but I..."

I took a deep breath. There was no way out of this now.

"I realized that I... I'm in love with your best friend."