i know i love you | hueningkaixreader

forty eight.

I decided to finally start packing. Literally one day before my flight. I regret holding it off for too long; in front of me was a huge pile of clothes and souvenirs that needed to be tucked into two not-so-big luggages.

Better late than never.

As I went through everything, I paused and recalled some of the amazing memories I'd made in this beautiful city.

The first thing I pulled out was the movie ticket from the night Taehyun and I went to the theater after he'd spilled coffee on me just that morning. He'd forgotten that the movie would be completely in Korean. There was no way I, having the most basic knowledge of the language, would be able to follow it. So we decided to leave the theater early and eat our popcorn as we strolled through the streets of Gangnam.

"You're really pretty," Taehyun had said out of the blue, leaving me blushing. It was the first real compliment I'd ever gotten from a guy, so of course I didn't know what to say other than "thank you."

But as we continued strolling, he kept giving me more compliments. Suddenly, saying "thank you" seemed too repetitive. I had to be creative.

And that's how I accidentally started flirting with Taehyun.

I hadn't realized what I was doing until he pointed it out himself.

"Wait a minute... Did you just flirt with me?" He had a mischievous smirk on his face that made me want to bury myself deep in the ground out of embarrassment.

"What?! No! Why would I?"

"Because you think I'm hot?" His smirk became even more mischievous. At this point, I wanted to run away.

But of course, I panicked. "W-Well... Yes, I do think you're very attractive but that doesn't mean I was trying to flirt with you because that would mean I'm admitting it and oh my god I just admitted it didn't I?"

Taehyun burst out laughing. "Don't worry, I won't tease you about it. But I do think it's cute."

We moved past the subject and started doing some icebreakers. I learned that he used to have a pet snake but he had to give it up for adoption because he got too busy. And that he shared a dorm with four other boys who each had their own pets, except for one: Kai. Instead of having a pet, he had plushies. Hearing about his friends made me excited to meet them.

When Taehyun took me to his dorm the next day, I was ill-prepared for the chaos that would ensue. But as crazy as they were, they were a fun bunch.

I tucked the movie ticket under my phone case. It would go wherever my phone goes, which is everywhere.

Up next, I pulled out a wrinkled polaroid selfie taken on the day Taehyun and I went to Namsan Tower. In the picture, I'm holding a skewer in each hand and I'm wearing a panda hat. Taehyun decided to buy it for me since he said I reminded him of a baby panda sometimes: I was just too clumsy.

"I think you look adorable," he said after snapping the picture.

I wrinkled my nose at him. "I can't believe I remind you of a baby panda. I'm not that clumsy!"

"Oh but you are," he insisted. "On a scale from one to Yeonjun, you're literally Yeonjun minus 0.1."

Taehyun then proceeded to tell me about how every single time Yeonjun cooks for the boys, he either mixes up ingredients, accidentally cuts himself, or drops the finished dish. Or all three.

"Remember the tteokbokki you had last Saturday night?" Taehyun asked.

"Yup! It was really good! There's no way Yeonjun messed up while cooking it..."

"Oh but he did," Taehyun revealed. "The reason why it probably tasted so good is because he accidentally put too much MSG in the sauce. He even spilled a little bit of it on the counter. He had to have Beomgyu help him scoop the sauce back up before it was too late."

"You're lying."

"Nope, I speak the truth."

"I guess that means from now on, all tteokbokki sauce has to have too much MSG and be spilled on the counter for it to be good."

"Shhh! A halmeoni could be listening!"

We burst out laughing after he said that. Taehyun was an effortless comedian, but what made him even funnier was the fact that he could make hilarious remarks with a straight face.

I put the polaroid in my purse. Next, I opened a small box of empty frames, random postcards, and other pieces of paper. I'd barely touched this box; it was just tucked away in a corner of my room this entire time. I almost forgot I had it.

As I went through each item, I found a small envelope that was sealed with wax. At the back of the envelope were my initials in really familiar handwriting.

It took me a second to realize that it was Kai's.

I carefully opened the envelope and pulled out a small note. As I read it, a wave of emotions overcame me.

To my Y/N,

Hey. Kai here. I'm glad you found this letter. I didn't really know where to hide it, but it looks like I chose a good place.

Where do I even begin?

You have literally changed my life forever, Y/N. No one knows this, but you're the first person I've ever felt anything for. When I'm with you it's like being in a field in the middle of nowhere. Okay wait that sounded a little weird. What I mean is that I feel like I can run around and be free when I'm with you. You were the breath of crisp, fresh air I needed after living in this polluted city for nineteen years. You were the sunshine that entered my life after I've had to go through some real shit.

You were my escape.

My paradise.

And gosh, I wish so many things had happened differently. I wish I'd been the one who bumped into you at the cafe. I wish I'd been the one who wrote my number on a spare napkin. I wish I'd been the one who asked you if you wanted salted caramel or white cheddar popcorn. I wish I'd been the one who dropped off peruvian lilies at your doorstep. I wish I'd been the one who wrote our names on a lock at Namsan Tower. I wish I'd been the one who waited for you in the rain as you got ready for our first fancy dinner.

I wish I'd been the one whom you made so many beautiful memories with.

But I am so grateful for the time we shared together. I am so grateful that you gave me a chance to be there for you. To look after you. To make you laugh. To make you happy.

To love you.

For me, the few brief weeks we spent by each other's side were perfect. I learned so many amazing things about you. You are such a wonder. I hope people know how lucky they are by just simply knowing you. I know I am.

Whatever happens next, know that I will always be thinking of you. After one or five or even ten years, you will still be my fondest memory, my favorite piece of paradise.

All I can do now is hope that in the future, we will meet again. I really think you were the right person for me. And now I'm just waiting for the right time. So we can start over and fall in love again and do the things we never got to do.

God, I love you so much.

More than you'll ever know.

Kai

My face was wet with tears I didn't know had fallen. I felt like my heart was about to fall apart into a billion pieces.

I held the small piece of paper to my chest and cried in the silence of my room, replaying Kai's beautiful words in my head. I wanted so much to run to him and tell him I'd read everything and that...

I'd felt every single word.

And that I too wish this had been the right time.