i know i love you | hueningkaixreader

forty four.

(taehyun's POV)

Was I hearing her right? Or was I having another nightmare?

When she brought her hand to my face, I realized that this was real. She had actually said the words I'd been subconsciously fearing.

"You don't have to say anything, but... Please don't take it out on Kai."

I removed her hand from my face. "Why are you defending him so much?" I asked quietly.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, she buried her face in her hands.

"Y/N, please answer me," I pleaded. "Why are you defending him so much? Why are you forcing all the blame on yourself?"

She sniffled. "Because if I hadn't called him the day after your accident... He wouldn't have had to be the one to make me happy again."

Hearing her say that she was happy again should've been enough to put my mind at ease. But instead, it filled me with sadness. Because my best friend had been the one to make her happy, not me.

I spoke again after a few seconds of silence. "I-is there more?"

"Taehyun, I—"

"Just tell me."

She lifted her head up but avoided my gaze. "We... kissed."

I nodded, because I expected her to say that. The tears in my eyes were waiting to fall, but I would not let them. It hurt me to see her in pain, and I didn't want her to feel any worse by seeing me cry.

She'd told me to put all the blame on her, but I couldn't bring myself to. I didn't want to blame her. I didn't even want to blame Kai.

And though hearing the truth felt like a knife had been twisted into my back, I didn't want to be angry. Because what would that do for me? It was clear I'd already lost to Kai.

"Y/N, I think I just need some... time. Alone."

It looked like she wanted to say something. Maybe I even wanted her to. But she wiped her tears and stood up.

"I'm so sorry, Taehyun," she whispered. "But you need to know... I really care about you and I will always be grateful for you."

With a reluctant smile, she turned around and left the room.

When I was sure she wouldn't come back, I buried my face in my hands and cried for the first time in weeks.