Xie Lian's artistic side| Colors of the Heart ~ Hualian AU

Chapter XVI : TW

Trigger warning: reference to attempt of suicide and physical abuse.

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When Xie Lian hit the dance floor, he looked back at Hua Cheng and mesmerized. San Lang was smiling, like a full smile showing his teeth. Colorful lights blinked over his face, contrasting with his wine-red suit in the dark and creating an interesting palette. Red represented that initial flame Xie Lian felt being lit up by his director inside his closed lids, but now he was seeing a beautiful rainbow of tones and colors, and it was San Lang who showed it to him.

Xie Lian smiled back and looked around. Everyone there seemed to be genuinely having fun and acting like they could not care less about others. They were just dancing with their friends or family, probably celebrating the end of sometimes useless lectures, difficult tests, but also missing inspiring professors and amazing moments with their classmates. No one was looking at him, and then he understood something else. It was just like the "being naked in front of Hua Cheng" issue.

Xie Lian was an actor, he wanted to be seen, he wanted to be admired and he knew how to be someone else on stage. But those were personas. His true self was much humbler and more insecure, only the few friends he had knew who he truly was, even his parents tried to deny or ignore it for a long time. Being unable to be himself openly and the constant need to hide it because of his parents was causing him to shrink. Hua Cheng noticed it. Shi Qingxuan knew it. Perhaps Feng Xin and Mu Qin also saw it but said nothing? Anyway. This was all bad. If Xie Lian could just talk openly and settle things with his parents, he would probably flourish and feel light as a feather! That could help his career, and even his relationship with San L...

That. He watched as Hua Cheng was moving side to side, trying to accompany the rhythm, smiling back at him and clearly just standing there because Xie Lian gave him no other choice. He was there to please Xie Lian, why else would he go through all this effort? And then, there was that thing he said to Jun Wu before, "If he wants me to be". They surely needed to talk a few things over, but it was clear that San Lang was not just being a professional, or only "his director", anymore.

That would lead to Xie Lian presenting him to his parents eventually. Xie Lian wanted it, he wanted to be involved with San Lang, so his parents must be able to understand or, at least, tolerate the situation. He would not repeat the same mistakes this time. He was going to have a long and very productive talk with them Monday night, explain everything and come clean. They would understand! His fear of rejection suddenly was overcome by the way San Lang caused him to feel and this was something definitely worth fighting for.

Hua Cheng, on his turn, could not help but smile. His Gege looked so happy. He was a little bit afraid when they entered the venue that this may have been a bold move, and maybe a mistake. Then, Xie Lian opened up to him, and he understood that Gege was tense because of that guy, his parents, probably the play as well. Adding to the fact that Hua Cheng was his director and showed up out of nowhere on a Saturday night like that. Anyway, Gege's concerns were not about Hua Cheng alone. His look when he saw the white carnation bouquet, his laugh when they were naming the weird dishes from the buffet, and his smile now, all of that made the risk Hua Cheng took being bold and bringing him to the ball definitely worth it.

Hua Cheng always saw Xie Lian as a blank canvas, because everytime the actor went up on stage, he managed to paint himself in all the colors of the rainbow and more. He seemed "white" due to his capacity to blend in, like a chameleon, not because he was plain. Now, the prism lights covered Xie Lian's shape and all that movement created an effect as if a divine sculpture came to life in a surreal dream, and it was dancing just for Hua Cheng. If only he could touch it, but was Gege worried about all the other people here?