I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 47

Harry and Louis arrived home later that night, tired from how exhausting the girls had been and from the long drive back.  It hadn't helped that they had gotten caught in traffic, either. It just wasn't a great night. They tried to close the front door as quietly as they could so as not to alert Liam of their return, but all attempts at being quiet turned out to be moot when Harry flipped the light on and they found Liam sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hands. "Liam. Hey," Harry breathed out, scared that Liam was going to beat his ass. The older boy just inhaled deeply and took a sip of his coffee, not even glancing in the direction of the two boys. "Liam, what's up?" Louis asked, wanting to see if Liam would answer him instead. He didn't.

"Look, Liam, I don't care whether you're listening or not because I just need to get this off my chest. I'm fucking tired of your attitude. You're being rude to me, you're being rude to Louis. I'm done with it. I don't like when you're mad at me, and neither does Louis. I know that seeing us together is hard for you, but you just have to fucking get over yourself and live with the fact that Louis and I are together. You don't have to like it, but you can't hate us for it." Harry sat down across from his older brother, taking the steaming cup out of his hands. Liam sighed and looked up at the boy, making eye contact just to please him. "Are you happy now? I'm looking at you. Now can I have my coffee back? I had a long day." Harry rolled his eyes and gave the cup back to Liam, looking to Louis for help.

Louis bit his lip and took a seat beside Harry, touching Liam's hand to get him to look up again. "Look, Li, I love you. You know that. You are my best friend in the whole wide world and I am so thankful for everything you've done for me. Letting me stay here for free after my asshole ex-boyfriend kicked me out was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. It might even be the nicest thing someone has done. It would kill me if you ever hated me for just following my heart and pursuing the one boy I have truly loved and cared about. Please don't be like this. I want you and Harry to be able to talk to each other, I want to be able to talk to you. This is the happiest I have ever been and I don't want it to be ruined because you're mad at me. We're too old to be acting so petty."

Liam sighed and stood up, taking his coffee with him back to his room. Both boys shared a look when they heard his door slam shut. "I'm sorry, baby. I tried so hard. Do you want to just go to bed now or do you want me to go home?" Harry sniffled and wiped his nose, his eyes tearing up. "I wanna go talk to him by myself. Okay?" Louis nodded and kissed the boy's forehead, sweeping some of his curls out of his eyes. "Okay, baby. I'm gonna head back home. Call me if you need anything, yeah?" Harry closed his eyes and kissed the older boy once before going down the hall to Liam's room.

The younger boy knocked on the door, hoping that Liam wasn't going to just ignore him like he always did. He perked up when he heard footsteps in the room and then the door opened, revealing a rumpled-looking Liam. "Harry, I'm tired. I just got in bed, let me sleep." Harry shook his head and moved forward, backing the older boy into the bedroom until the backs of his knees hit his bed. "I don't care, Liam. I really don't. I love Louis. I love him so much and you have no right to tell me I can't be with him. What is so wrong with Louis that you would sabotage your relationship with him and your relationship with me just because we're together. You're acting so immature. I felt bad for you at first because I know it must suck to see Lou and I together, especially with the way you found out, but now I'm fucking pissed. Grow the fuck up."

Harry stepped forward and smacked the boy upside the head, making him groan and glare at the younger boy. "What do you want me to say, Harry? You come in here and you yell at me for acting annoyed at my friend who intentionally broke the one rule I gave him and now you're asking me to apologize. I don't get it. I have every right to be pissed at you. We had plans tonight, Harry. We were supposed to go to a movie and spend time together like brothers should do. You're the one that canceled on me. I came home to an empty house and then I found out that you skipped out on our movie just to go hang out with Louis. That fucking hurt." Harry felt himself start to tear up again but he pushed it down.

"Liam, I'm sorry, but I couldn't get out of it. Louis came over and he said that we had to go and then we were so busy with shopping and getting ready that I just forgot to tell you. I would have made more of an effort to try and get out of having to go, but it was really special to Louis and I didn't want to disappoint him. Both of you guys are important to me and I don't want to have to choose. My birthday is next week and I want all of my favorite people to be there and happy. That means you and Louis have to get along, at least on my birthday. No fights, no arguments, no petty comments. I don't even want to hear playful teasing. I want you two to act like you're still the best friends you were before I came into your lives and messed everything up." Harry wiped the tears from his cheeks as he walked out of the room, locking himself in his own bedroom so he could cry in private.

Liam sat still on his bed, unable to process everything that had happened. He felt awful, of course, but he was still slightly pissed at the boy. Harry had canceled important plans, plans that he had been super excited about. He stood up and went to his door, almost leaving so he could go comfort Harry, but then he thought better of it. The boy probably wanted to be alone. He was exhausted and he just needed to have some alone time so he could think in silence without being interrupted by his dumb older brother. Liam sat back down and put his head in his hands, his head pounding from a tension headache. He didn't want to let himself cry, not when he was still so mad at both boys.

It made it harder, though, when Harry's words ran through his head, saying that he had ruined Liam and Louis's lives when he showed up. He hadn't ruined anything, for Liam or Louis. He had only made their lives better since he had arrived. Liam just didn't know how to tell him that without sounding like a complete and total sap. He sighed and wiped at his eyes, finally giving in to the tears that had been threatening to spill for a while. The tears rolled down his cheeks and he sniffled quietly, not wanting Harry to hear how vulnerable he was being. He wanted to be the big, strong older brother that never cried and would do anything he could to protect the people he loved.