I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 1

 "This will be your room, kiddo. I'm sorry it's not the best bedroom, nowhere near what you used to have, but it's better than the couch, innit?" Liam led his little brother into a small bedroom, which was previously a study, at the back of the apartment. Harry had been released from the hospital the previous day, after having almost been there a month. Social Services had held him for a few hours before finally turning him over to his older brother, Liam. Harry hadn't seen Liam since last Christmas, hadn't talked to him since then, either.

They had a good relationship, though. Liam just had a busy life, working two jobs while also taking online classes at the local community college. Harry looked up to him, admired him like he was his hero. He was glad to be moving in with Liam instead of going into the foster care system. Liam was going to take care of him, make sure that no one would ever hurt him. Harry had taken the rest of the school year off, trading it in for online classes and monthly meetings with his guidance counselor. He just needed time for his head to heal and regain his full mental state again.

"Li, I just want to say thank you. I-I don't know what I would be doing if I didn't have you." Liam pulled the crying boy into a tight embrace, kissing the top of his head lovingly. "I know, kid. I know." Harry burrowed further into Liam's arms and squeezed him tighter, pouring out all of his frustration. "Shh, Harry. It's okay. It's all gonna be okay. I've got you." Liam scooped the boy up into his arms, carrying him to the couch and sitting down with him half in his lap. "It's okay, darling. Let's watch some tv, yeah?" Harry nodded weakly into Liam's shoulder and the older boy turned on the small box tv, changing the channel to Friends.

The younger boy made a sound of content in the back of his throat at the tv show choice. "Do you want to do anything special this week? I can take you shopping. Or we can go to the movies and then go walking around. I know you're not really familiar with this area yet." Harry sat up a little bit and took his legs out of Liam's lap, turning to face him fully. "Can we just wander around a little bit? I don't want to have to do too much and I would like to get a feel of the area." Liam hummed and leaned his head on Harry's, wrapping his arm around him tightly. "That sounds like a great idea, kiddo. Maybe we can go shopping some other time. When you're feeling a little better."

Harry nodded and cuddled closer, turning his focus back to the television. They watched for another half hour before they were interrupted by a loud banging on the door. Liam gave Harry an apologetic look and a pat on the head before getting up to answer the door. He opened the door and let out a shout of either surprise or happiness, Harry wasn't too sure. The younger lad turned around to try and get a view of who was at the door but he couldn't see anything. A potted plant was blocking his line of sight. "Come on in, lad. Harry's right in here."

Liam came back in the room with a smaller, skinny lad with raven hair. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his forearms were littered with colorful tattoos. Harry first noticed a superhero-esque "ZAP!" tattoo and a checkered flag tattoo that looked like it was waving in the wind. "Hey, mate. You must be Lima's little brother, right?" The tattooed lad came over and reached a slim hand out, a huge grin on his face. Harry took the boy's hand and shook it as he nodded, trying not to make eye contact. "It's really nice to meet you, Harry. Li never shuts up about you. Always ranting about how smart his little brother is."

Zayn plopped down on the couch next to Harry, making sure to leave a good amount of space between them so as not to make the boy uncomfortable. Liam came in and sat between the two boys, pulling Harry under his arm. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, Harry. I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Zayn." Zayn waved at the curly-haired boy from the other side of the couch and the boy waved back, hiding in Liam's side immediately afterward. Liam gave Zayn a sad look and leaned closer, whispering so that Harry couldn't hear him.

"I'm sorry, he's still kind of lost. I think him being trapped in the car after it happened really messed him up. I was never as close with mum and Robin as he was, and he's really taken a hit." Zayn nodded sympathetically and gave Liam a sad smile. "I can leave if you want. I don't think Harry wants company right now." Liam sighed and shook his head. "I think he just needs some rest. How about we talk while he naps. You can leave when he wakes up if he's still not feeling it." Zayn nodded and leaned back against the arm of the couch while Liam said some quiet words to Harry.

The boy stood up and waved sleepily to the other lads, walking out of the room and to his bedroom. Once they heard the door close, they walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. Liam poured them each a cup of coffee while Zayn took a box of scones from the top of the refrigerator. The two boys sat down at the table with their coffee, Zayn setting the whole box of scones in the middle. "So, umm, you never told me the whole story. What exactly happened to you and Harry's parents?"

Liam took a sip of his coffee before crossing his arms on the table. "They were on the way home from a fireworks show. Mum and Robin in the front seat, Harry in the back. Robin was turning onto their street when a huge pickup truck came speeding down the road, with no headlights. It crashed into the car and pushed them off the road into a dry river bed. The car flipped over and mum and Robin's necks snapped. Harry survived with just a major head injury." Zayn nodded and took a bite of his scone, chewing thoughtfully.

"So, did he, like, lose his memory? Does he have amnesia?" Liam shook his head. "No, no. He didn't get any side effects like that. He didn't injure the memory part of his brain. He just gets really bad headaches. That's why he was in the hospital for so long. They were scared that he was hemorrhaging." Liam cleared his throat, suddenly feeling a lump form as he talked about his little brother's injuries. "He didn't deserve any of this. He's such a good kid. I don't understand how something like this could happen to a good person."

Tears streamed down the brunette's face and Zayn reached across the table, putting a hand on Liam's much larger one. "I know, Li. He is a good kid. From the way you talk about him, he seems like a saint. I don't know why this happened. It could just be that they were all in the wrong place at the wrong time." Liam sniffled and Zayn squeezed his hand, comforting him. "It'll get better. It's going to take some time, but soon everything will be better. Harry will be okay." Liam nodded, knowing that what Zayn was saying was true, but he was still facing the present. And in the present, his parents had just died right in front of his brother's eyes and his brother was too scared to even think about riding in a car ever again.