I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 40

Harry woke up a few hours later to an empty space beside him in bed and a freezing torso. He knew in the back of his mind Louis hadn't slept next to him because he didn't want Liam to find them together, but he felt like it was because of something he had done. "Louis." His voice was still rough from sleep but he didn't feel like getting up to see where Louis had gone off to. "Louis," He said again, louder this time, but there was still no response. The boy finally gave up on calling for the older lad and stood from the bed, stretching his back until it cracked. He picked his discarded shirt up off of the floor and slid it back on, going out into the hallway in just the shirt and his panties. It didn't matter that he was underdressed since Liam never cared when he went around in just his underwear and Louis would most definitely not mind it at all.

The younger boy made his way into the kitchen and smiled when he saw his older brother sitting at the table with Louis. "Hi, Li-Li," He said with a smile before yawning adorably into his fist. Liam didn't smile at him, though. His face was hard-set and his jaw was clenched tight. "Harry, sit down." The boy quickly obeyed Liam's order and sat down next to Louis, their knees bumping together. "What the fuck were you thinking last night, going out and getting drunk at a strip club? Are you fucking stupid? You know what, scratch that, because I know you weren't thinking! I am so fucking disappointed in you, Harry Edward! I'm fucking pissed! You completely lost my trust last night, and I don't think you can earn it back."

Harry felt tears well up in his eyes but Liam wasn't having any of it. "Don't fucking cry, Harry! You're not gonna get any of my fucking pity! It feels like you have just kept getting worse and worse. You used to be such a good kid, Harry, where the fuck did you go wrong? Is it something I did?" Harry shook his head, trying so hard not to cry. "No, Liam, you didn't do anything. I just wanted to have a little fun. I didn't know Niall was taking me there, I thought we were just going out. Please, Liam, you have to believe me. I'm sorry I broke the rules, but I wanted some fun. I never go out with the guys." Liam sighed and shook his head. "No, Harry, you don't get to apologize and expect me to forgive you immediately. You left this house without telling me you were leaving or even where you were going, and you went to a fucking strip club! You used a fucking fake I.D, Harry! You got fucking drunk!"

The younger boy sniffled and reached out for his older brother but he turned away, looking at the wall. "Liam, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking last night. But, I think you might just be mad at me because I embarrassed you. I came to a strip club that you work at and I found out you're a stripper, and you got really embarrassed. I'm sorry I exposed your little secret, but you can't just get mad at me because you're ashamed of your job. I don't even know why you care that I found out. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, being a stripper is cool. You get to wear pretty things and dance and you make friends for life with your coworkers. I think your job is awesome. I wish I could be a stripper, but one, I'm not confident enough, and two, I'm not legal." The older boy groaned and leaned his head back, putting his hands over his eyes.

"No, Harry, don't fucking tell me that. I'm not going to let you become a stripper." Harry looked at him in confusion. "That's what you took away from what I said? That I want to be a stripper? And what's wrong with that, anyway? You do it, so why can't I?" Liam shook his head at the boy. "You're seriously asking me why I don't want you to be a stripper? I'll tell you why I don't want you to become a stripper. I get fucking touched all the fucking time! Men are fucking disgusting, Harry, and they can't keep their fucking hands to themselves! Do you know the number of times just in this week I have had to get men thrown out because they broke the rules?" Harry shook his head. "Too fucking many!

"I don't want this life for you, Haz. I don't want you to be touched by anyone, for any reason. Yes, the dancing and actual work is so much fun, and I love all of my friends there, and I make a shit ton of money doing it, but I don't want you to follow in my footsteps. I love my job, Harry, I love it. I really do. But, I don't want you getting hurt. Men that hang out at strip clubs are not the kind of guys you want to be around, and sometimes they offer you money that you can't turn down, and then you can get hurt. Please, Harry, believe me when I say you don't want to be a stripper, at least not as young as you are. You're too impressionable. Look, Haz, I love you, and I will never ever tell you that you can't do something, but I am warning you that a lot of scary things happen at strip clubs. If it were up to me, there would be so many laws protecting strippers, and there would be super-deep background checks of every person who comes to the door. But it's not up to me."

Harry sighed and nodded, hugging his knees to his chest. "Now, for punishment," The older boy said, clearing his throat. "I hate to punish you, but I have to do this. Otherwise, I wouldn't be qualified as your actual guardian." Liam chuckled and then settled his hands on the table. "As I already said, you're grounded for two weeks with no phone, you can't leave the apartment unless it's an emergency, and you may not have anyone over here. I fucking mean it. I see any evidence of someone else being in this apartment, you are dead. And grounded for life. Also, Niall is not taking you anywhere for a long time. When you two hang out, you hang out here. I am not letting you leave this house with him."

Liam paused and took a deep breath, finally looking back at the other boy sitting at the table. "Lou, do you have anything to add to that?" He asked, gesturing to the younger boy. "Well, it would be nice to know if he messed around with anyone there, or if his friends might have any intentions other than being his friends." Harry blushed and ducked his head down, knowing Louis was just asking that to embarrass him. "Oh, well that's...something. But I doubt any of Harry's friends like him like that. Harry?" The younger boy looked up at the sound of his name. "Oh, I don't think so. Not that I know of." Liam nodded and looked back at Louis. "Anything else?" The oldest boy sighed. "Uhm, maybe someone should be here to watch him during the day, just to keep an eye on him. Like, Zayn or I could come in and spend a couple of hours with him, make sure Niall isn't here."

Harry perked up and smiled at the suggestion, but he toned it down when Louis made a cutting motion. "I think that's a good idea. I mean, you obviously wouldn't have to spend all of your time here but you could come here for a couple of hours a day, spend some time with Harry and make sure he's doing all of his chores." He turned to the younger boy. "And yes, there will be a lot of chores for you to do, starting tomorrow. You are going to clean this whole apartment top to bottom. That means floors, windows, cabinets. I want you to organize all of the pots and pans, clean the shower drain, hand wash all of those dishes in the sink, and then, you are going to pay me back for all of those drinks you guys got at the club, since Niall so generously put all of your guys' drinks on a tab under my name. And, you need to go down to the basement and do the laundry in the building's laundry room. Bring quarters. I'm done with that laundromat down the street, the owners are super homophobic and they always yell at me for something."

Harry giggled and covered his mouth with his hand, feeling like that moment was not the time to be laughing. "Yeah, you better cover your fucking mouth. Louis and I can laugh about this but your ass is on the line with this whole fucking thing. You need to be serious about this because I can guarantee you I will not be easy on you. At all. Now go to your fucking room. Louis gave me your phone already, so I don't need anything else from you." The younger boy stood up from the table. "Oh wait." He stopped the boy with a hand on his arm. "Go grab your tv remote and give it to me. No tv in your room until I say." Harry nodded and ran back to his room to grab his remote and his laptop, knowing that Liam would probably want that too.

"Here you go," Harry said as he handed the items to his older brother, the boy taking them from him and laying them on the table. "Thank you, Harry. Now you go to your room until I tell you that you're allowed to come back out. Louis and I are going to hang out in the living room and maybe invite Zayn over. Ask if you need anything, but don't bother us about things that aren't important. Now, leave." Harry nodded and walked out of the room, closing his door quietly behind him. He sat down on his bed and smiled to himself, so happy that Louis was going to be staying with him during the day. That meant he would get to spend all of his punishment kissing and cuddling and talking to Louis. He just prayed that Louis would want to do that with him too. That Louis liked him just as much as Harry liked him.