I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 14

Louis and Harry arrived home at five o'clock to a silent apartment, which Louis felt was a good sign. Maybe Liam wasn't home yet. All of his thoughts of Liam not being home yet went out the window, though, when the bulky lad stormed into the kitchen. "Where the bloody hell were you? What the fuck were you thinking, leaving without telling me where the hell you were off to? No note! No text! No call from either of you telling me where you were! I tried calling both of you but I guess you just turned your phones off for shits and giggles!" Liam paused to take a breath before diving into his next lecture.

"What was so fucking important that you had to just go out at that moment and get it? Huh? Why the fuck were you gone for so fucking long? I've been home for a fucking hour!" Louis gulped and looked at his watch for the first time since he and Harry had left. Shit. They had been gone for over an hour and a half. "Louis, how could you be so fucking stupid? Go on! Explain!" Liam waved his hands around angrily. Louis took a deep breath and stepped forward. "I'm sorry, Li. We went to the mall so Harry could get something for Niall. We were going to go straight home but we saw this cat cafe on the way back and we just stopped in. We didn't mean to take so long."

Liam groaned dramatically and rolled his eyes at the boy. "What took you so long at a restaurant, though? That should have taken you half an hour, tops, with how fast the two of you eat." Louis answered once again. "We were just talking. That's it. I was telling him some stories about you and Zee and I. I guess we just lost track of time." Liam sighed and turned to Harry. "Harry, could you please go to your room. I just need to have a little chat with Louis and then we can discuss what's going to happen with you." Harry nodded obediently and left the room.

Liam glared at Louis and motioned for him to sit down at the table. "One rule. One fucking rule! I told you to stay the fuck away from him! But no, I guess you couldn't listen to me and you just had to go hang out with him! You could have at least fucking told me that you were going out!" Louis ducked his head in shame. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now!" Liam stomped over to the boy and stood over him menacingly. The boy cowered. "H-he asked me," He said, his head in his chest. "What?" Louis looked up. "He asked me to take him to the mall so he could get something for Niall."

Liam rolled his eyes and tapped his foot. "And you said yes because..." He said with annoyance. "Umm, he sorta walked in on me fucking someone in your room." Louis spoke quietly. Liam turned the color of a beet. "You what? You were fucking someone while Harry was fucking home? God fucking dammit, Lou! That's the one thing I told you not to do when I said you could use my room! He's too innocent for that, Louis!" Louis stood up to protest but stopped when he saw the look on Liam's face. "Don't tell me you have an explanation as to why you were fucking someone while my little brother was still at home. We share a wall, you know. He can hear everything in his room."

Louis stood up once more, this time staying strong when Liam stared him down. "He's not as innocent as you think he is. You may think he's still just some kid, but he's grown up. He went to Spencer's to buy a fucking dildo. Not for himself, but he still bought it. You just need to let it get through your solid fucking skull that he's not your baby brother anymore. He's a grown fucking teenager." Liam flinched, but he knew Louis was right. It's not like he would admit that, though. "You have no fucking right to tell me that I'm overreacting! He is my brother and my responsibility! I make the fucking rules here, not you!"

The smaller boy curled away from Liam, who was screaming so loud veins were popping out in his neck. "Li, I said I was sorry," He said weakly. "No! Sorry's not fucking good enough! You have no fucking clue what I have been through in these last couple months! Do you know what it's like to come home to a police officer standing at your door, waiting to tell you that your parents are fucking dead and your little brother is in the hospital and hasn't woken up? Huh? Do you know what that's like?" Louis shook his head feebly. "Exactly! You don't know! So you can't even begin to understand how I felt when I came home to an empty house, no message as to where either of you were, and no answer when I called you! You two fucking scared me."

Liam said the last part quietly, his voice cracking as tears welled up in his eyes. Louis's face softened and he pulled the boy into a hug, holding him close as he sobbed into his shoulder. "Shh, babes. Harry's okay, I'm okay. It's all good. Calm down, darling, don't want to work yourself up. It's alright, I'm here." Louis shushed the boy and stroked his hair softly. Liam hiccuped into his shoulder and sniffled, pulling back from the smaller lad. "Thank you, Louis. I just...I can't lose him, too. Ya know?" Louis nodded and wiped a tear from Liam's cheek. "I know, love. And you won't lose him. He's safe."

The older boy patted Liam's shoulder in assurance, but he just broke down into tears again. "How do you know, Louis? How the fuck do you know that I'm not gonna lose him? I was almost sure I wasn't going to lose mum and dad, but look what happened. You can't fucking predict the future." Louis bit his lip and sighed, pulling the boy to him once again. "I know. But you can't live your life scared of something happening to him. Just know that right now, at this moment, he's doing amazing. Okay?" Louis cupped Liam's cheeks and looked right into his eyes. Liam nodded. "Good. C'mon, let's have a cuppa and watch some tv. You go to the living room and I'll go get Harry."

Liam took a deep breath and gave the boy a small smile, walking out of the room to the living room. Louis watched him walk away with a sad look on his face before going back to Harry's room. He knocked softly, hearing small whimpers on the other side of the door. "Haz? Love, I'm coming in." Louis pushed the door open and frowned when he saw the boy under his covers, only his tear-streaked face showing. "Oh, love, what's wrong?" The older walked over and sat at the end of the bed, his hand resting on Harry's ankle. "L-Li hates m-me," He said, hiccuping through his words.

Louis came closer and rubbed soothing circles over the boy's back. "Darling, calm down. Liam doesn't hate you at all. Sure, he's a little upset, but that's because he loves you so much. He was worried about you. You're not in trouble, I promise." Louis put an arm around the boy and helped him sit up, still rubbing his back. "C'mon, bub, let's go hang out with Li. We're gonna watch a movie." Harry smiled and nodded, standing up with the aid of Louis. The two boys walked out of the room and into the living room where Liam was sprawled on the couch. Liam reached his arms out and motioned for Harry to lay against him.

"C'mere, Haz." Harry shuffled to the couch and laid between Liam's legs, his back pressed to the older lad's chest. Liam smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of the boy's mop of curls. "I'm sorry I flipped out, Haz. You just scared me." Harry sat up and turned to look at the boy. "It's okay, Li. I forgive you. Just don't yell at me like that again. You scared me, really bad." Liam smiled and held Harry closer. "I promise. Don't you go off like that ever again, though. You tell me when you're leaving and where you're going. Doesn't matter if you're just going down the street. You tell me." Harry nodded, his eyes drooping with exhaustion, and he cuddled closer to his older brother. Liam sighed happily and laid back, both boys soon falling asleep as Louis sat on the floor in front of them.