I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 63

Louis showed up at the hospital at around two-thirty, his eyes red and bloodshot both from crying and lack of sleep. Zayn was asleep on one of the benches in the hospital waiting room and Louis watched him for a moment, wondering where all the others were. A bored-looking nurse sat at the nurse's station and Louis walked up, drumming on the counter with his fingertips. "Visiting hours are over sir. Come back tomorrow at 10 AM and you may visit then." Louis felt himself tear up and he tried as best as he could to not slam his hand down on the counter. "Please, my boyfriend is in there and I need to see him. I promise I won't cause a disturbance, I just need to go in and see him." The woman looked between her computer and Louis, wondering if she should break the rules for him. He just seemed so broken that if she refused him he might freak out on her. "What's your boyfriend's name sir?" She finally asked, typing something into her computer.

Louis sighed in relief, so happy that he was going to be able to see his Harry. "His name is Harry Styles. Head trauma patient in the ICU." The woman hummed and put his name in, her brows furrowing as she read the screen. "It says we can only allow one visitor at a time, but it says that we have two people checked in. That's weird." Louis watched as she typed in a few more things, sighing and rolling her eyes as she did so. "I hate this new system. Nothing is where it's supposed to be and I can't get help for anything." She stepped back and looked into the room behind the counter. "Trace, can you help me? The system says that we already have two visitors checked into this patient's room but it says there can only be one visitor at a time." The other nurse looked at the name on the screen, her mouth opening. "Oh, I know what this is. The patient's brother and I think his boyfriend are in there sleeping. I allowed it because both of them looked too tired for them to sleep on the floor in here."

Louis cocked his head to the side, trying to think who this woman could think Harry's boyfriend was. "Well, this man says that he's Styles' boyfriend." Louis raised his hand as the nurse gestured to him, and the other woman looked confused. "But I saw the blonde boy kissing the patient." Louis chuckled and shook his head. "Oh, no. That was his best friend. I'm the boyfriend. The best friend is dating the brother." The nurse smiled and nodded, putting a hand to her chest. "Thank god. I did not want to have to deal with some jealous fight where someone's dating two people and both people come in. I have had many an earring ripped out during those kinds of fights." Louis's eyes widened and he covered his mouth with his hand. "Oh my god. I'm glad I don't work in health care." Both nurses laughed, keeping it quiet since they were still in a hospital, and they fist-bumped each other.

"Oh, it has its ups and downs, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't want to do anything else. Now, enough with the sappy stuff. About your boyfriend." She took over the computer, scrolling through and reading the screen. "I can check you in as a visitor, but you might have to get one of those other boys to leave the room before you can go in. We can stretch the rules a little bit, but three is a bit too much, especially for a head trauma patient." Louis nodded at the woman. "Here is your visitor sticker, keep it visible at all times when you're in a patient room, and if you could just print your name on it." She handed Louis the sticker and a pen, and Louis wrote his name in all caps. "Okay, you're all set. Just go down that hall and he's in room 28 A, it has a yellow sign on the door." Louis thanked the woman and walked down the hallway, stopping in front of the door.

Louis knocked twice, but heard nothing from the other side, so he pushed it open, the hinges creaking quietly. He cooed when he saw Liam and Niall curled up on the couch, Liam's arms wrapped tightly around the blonde. His attention was brought to the large white bed in the middle of the room a second later and he gasped when he saw the state of his boy. Tears came to the teen's eyes and he wiped at them, taking a seat next to the bed. Harry's hand was right in front of him, covered in IVs and tubes, but Louis was too scared to touch, afraid he would break the boy's frail bones. "Haz," He whispered, not even audible over the steady beeping of his heart monitor. "Baby, oh my god." Liam woke up at the sound of Louis's teary voice and he looked over, his heart shattering at the sight of Louis, sitting next to Harry's bed as he cried softly. "Baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't here. If I were here this wouldn't have happened. This is all my fault." Louis reached out and stroked Harry's hand, gently caressing his bright blue veins.