I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 2

Harry woke up from his nap a little over an hour later, his head pounding at his temple and a light sheen of sweat covering his whole body. His heart was racing, his palms were clammy, and parts of his nightmare flashed in his mind, even as he opened his eyes. The nightmares started his third night in the Intensive Care Unit. Niall had visited earlier that day and had made the boy feel some kind of normal, if only just for an hour.

The blonde lad hadn't mentioned Harry's parents, or his head injury, or the fact that he was an orphan now. He just talked with him about school, and a crush he had on some complete fuckboy that Harry had an extreme distaste for. Harry tried to voice his opinion on the boy, but Niall, always the most stubborn little fucker, told Harry that he was in love and this one's different. Niall came back to the hospital two days later and told Harry that it didn't work out because the guy had a small dick.

When visiting hours were over, Niall pecked Harry lightly on the lips (just a friendly peck), and left the room, telling Harry he would be back soon with more information on the guy. The nighttime nurse came in to check his vitals after Niall left, messing around with his I.V. drip and his head bandages. "So, was that your boyfriend?" Harry giggled and shook his head at the man. "Oh, that's too bad. You two would make a cute couple. How old is he?" The nurse chatted as he changed the bandage wrapped around Harry's forearm. "He's 17, a year older than I am. He's in my grade, though. Got held back a year cause he's kind of stupid."

The nurse made a noise of disappointment. "Every guy I find cute turns out to be a minor or they're racist. Am I a predator? Because I feel like me being a predator is a good reason for my boss to fire me and I really need this job." Harry snorted but winced when he felt a stabbing pain in his lower abdomen. "Don't laugh like that, you'll get hurt. I promise I'm really not that old. I'm barely even a nurse. I'm still a student. See my badge." He took off his I.D. "It says student. I haven't even graduated college yet. Don't tell anyone I thought some 17-year-old blonde twink was hot. Bad for my name."

Harry gave the not-a-predator nursing student a thumbs up and the older boy blew the younger lad a kiss. "Thanks, Harry. I owe you one. Oh, and don't tell anyone that I blew my 16-year-old patient a kiss. Would face a lot of backlash for that." Harry snickered into his hand and waved for the boy to leave the room. "You need to leave before you catch a case." The student winked and left the room, turning off the lights and closing the door partway behind him.

Harry smiled to himself as he burrowed back under the covers, glad that he had made a new friend to distract himself from what he was going through. When he was alone, though, there was no one to keep him from thinking about his situation. He closed his eyes and begged for sleep to come because sleep was the only time he got safety away from his real life. Grief wasn't supposed to exist in his dreams.

Harry finally managed to drift off to sleep, his breathing slowing down to a regular rhythm. It didn't stay that way for long, though. He found himself in complete darkness, no light to be seen anywhere. "Hello?" He called out. There was no echo, so he knew where he was could only be so extensive. His senses started to come to him and he felt that he was sitting on something. It felt like a cushioned chair or something like that, but he wasn't sure yet. Noise started to fill his ears and he recognized what sounded like a car engine.

Light filled his vision and he was finally able to see where he was. He was in a car, an all-too-familiar car. Robin was sitting in the driver's seat, Anne was in the passenger's seat. The car was running but they weren't in motion. Harry peered between the seats and tapped his parents on the shoulder, wanting to get their attention. All of a sudden a scream pierced the air. It came from his mother's mouth but she stayed still. Another scream came from Robin's mouth, filling Harry's ears with the sharp sound. Soon, screams erupted from both of their mouths, surrounding Harry with a wall of anguish.

The boy finally began to freak out and tried to help his parents, climbing over the seat to help them undo their seatbelts. "Mum, Dad, you have to help me here! I need to get you out of this car! Mummy! Daddy!" The boy shook his stepdad's shoulders but that did nothing. He was trying to get his voice louder than the screams but every time he raised his volume, the shrieks got louder as well. Eventually, the screams came to a stop, then there was a loud crunching sound, the car surging forward as the haunting green truck slammed into its side.

It was the same nightmare every time, but this time when he woke up there wasn't a happy nurse waiting there with a blood pressure cuff and a glass of ice water. This time, when he woke up, he was completely alone and in the dark. The silence was oppressive and he needed to get out of there. He ripped the covers off of his sweaty body and stood up, swaying slightly as all of the blood rushed out of his head and he got lightheaded. The boy took a deep breath before walking out of the room in just his Superman boxers, not expecting to bump into Zayn in the hallway.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry, kid. I wasn't even looking where I was going, I am such a fucking prick." Zayn held his hands out in apology but Harry just waved him off. "It's okay, Zayn. I bet you weren't expecting me to come out of my room right as you were coming out of the bathroom. I was just heading to the kitchen to grab something to eat, feeling a bit peckish." He rubbed his stomach as if to prove his point. "But, uh, since you're still here I feel a little...underdressed."

Harry crossed his arms in front of his bare torso, feeling incredibly exposed in front of his older brother's super-mega-sexy best friend. "It's okay, Harry, we're all lads here. Plus, I don't mind the view at all." Harry blushed ferociously at the way Zayn not-so-subtly scanned him up and down. "I'm just, uh, going to go put some clothes on." Zayn cheekily saluted the flushed boy, who waved and turned back around, nearly knocking his head onto the door frame. "Whoa, easy there, bud. Can't have you getting any more head injuries on my watch."

Zayn realized what he said was wrong as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth and he immediately tried to take it back. Harry stiffened up and backed away from Zayn, a hard expression falling over his usually soft features. "Harry, oh my god, I am so fucking sorry. I'm a fucking idiot. I wasn't even think-" He was stopped by Harry's hand in his face. "Just stop, Zayn. It's fine. I need to get dressed. I'll be out in a minute." Zayn nodded and headed toward the kitchen, leaving Harry to catch his breath in the hallway. He huffed loudly and went into his room, slamming the door shut behind him.