I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 11

Louis got into his old clunker of a car and slammed the door shut, banging his head on the steering wheel. "Fuck fuck fuck!" He screamed, stomping his feet on the floor. Tears rolled down his face and he wiped his runny nose with the back of his hand. He finally decided he wasn't going to solve anything by just sitting in his car, so he turned the key and pulled out of the parking space, heading for the only place he knew he could find refuge. The only place he knew where he wouldn't be judged.

The 19-year-old pulled up outside of the apartment complex ten minutes later. The boy had calmed down a bit but there was still a steady stream of tears flowing down his flushed cheeks. He took the key out of the ignition and stepped out of the car, heading up the stairs to the familiar apartment. His steps echoed in the stairwell, along with his occasional sniffles. He knocked on the door of apartment 3B, his heart slowing down a little bit when he heard footsteps coming toward him.

The door opened and Louis's best friend's face appeared, making him break down in tears all over again. "Oh my god, Louis! Come here, love, come here. Get inside, I'll make you a nice cuppa." Liam put his arm around the sobbing boy and led him into the apartment, sitting him down at the kitchen table. The boy just collapsed into his seat, the chair and table the only things holding him up. Liam made his way to the kettle and filled it with water, setting it onto the stove to heat it. He then went to the cupboard and pulled down a box of Yorkshire tea, Louis's favorite, taking out two bags.

Louis watched as his best friend scurried around the kitchen, caring for him just like he had for the last two years. Once the kettle had gone off, signaling that the water was done, Liam poured some into two teacups, adding in a spoonful of honey for the other boy. He set one cup down in front of Louis and sat across the table from him, cradling his cup between his hands. "What happened?" Liam asked, worry on his face. "H-he kicked me o-out. Said h-he didn't w-want to live w-with a lying, ch-cheating shitbag."

Liam frowned and reached across the table, laying his hand over the other boy's smaller one. "Oh, darling. I thought he was the one that cheated on you?" Louis sighed and flicked his fringe out of his face. "Yeah, but when he started drinking I would spend the night at other people's houses, and sometimes things would happen." The boy ducked his head in shame. "I'm sorry, love. He's a fucking dick and he can go fucking die in a hole for all I care. Do you want me to go there and kill him for you?" Louis giggled at the boy and shook his head. "I'm sorry I always come here to tell you about my problems. You must be hating me by now with all the times I've come crying into your arms."

Liam cooed at the boy and stood up, walking over to pull him to his feet. "Come here." Louis smiled and curled into Liam's arms, tucking his face into the bigger lad's shoulder. "I love you, Loubear. You are amazing, and beautiful, and so smart, and Kyle never deserved you. You're so much better off without him." The smaller boy teared up once again and cuddled closer to his best friend, nuzzling his nose into his neck. "Thank you, Li. Can I stay here tonight? I just need a place to stay until I can get back up on my feet." Liam pulled back from the boy and held him at arm's length.

"You can stay here as long as you need to, Lou. We would love to have you here." Louis visibly deflated at the boy's last sentence. "I don't want to make Harry uncomfortable. I mean, he's just getting used to living here and I don't want to come in and ruin it." Liam shook his head and cupped the boy's cheeks. "No, love, you're perfectly fine. Harry won't care at all. Just, don't smoke in the house. And try not to drink too much around Harry. He's really impressionable and I don't want him to start doing stuff so young." Louis pouted and gave Liam the puppy eyes. "C'mon, Li. I got you to smoke your first joint when you were sixteen. He's old enough. What if he asks me for a hit?"

Liam gave the shorter boy a firm look, his jaw set. "Given he asked me about why you smelled weird the other night, I highly doubt he will be asking you for a hit of any kind anytime soon." Louis snorted into his hand. "He asked you about what?" The taller boy rolled his eyes. "He smelled your weed the last time you were here and he asked me what it was when we were hanging out the other night. He had no fucking clue what it was." Louis's eyes widened in surprise. "He really doesn't know what weed smells like? That is one innocent kid. When I was his age I was doing some pretty fucked-up shit. I was also very much not a virgin."

The bigger lad flinched at the things Louis was saying. He didn't want to think about Harry doing anything that Louis did when he was sixteen. Louis saw the boy's reaction and he immediately tried to take what he said back. "Not that Harry would even think of d-doing any of those things until he's way older. I-I bet he's never even thought about having sex yet." Nothing the boy was saying was making Liam feel better and Louis could tell. "You know what, I should just shut up right now. He's a good kid. You won't have any problems with him, I can guarantee."

Louis patted the younger boy on the shoulder, sitting back down in his seat. He was feeling much better knowing that he was in the safety of his best friend's house. "Li-Li, I'm ho- Oh, you're in here." Harry interrupted the comfortable silence by bursting into the apartment, his arms filled with shopping bags. Niall followed quickly behind, his arms even more full than Harry's. "Oi oi, lads. If you'll excuse me, I have to go take a piss. Been holding it since we got to the mall." The Irishman dropped his bags in front of Harry and ran off down the hallway, tripping over the threshold out of the kitchen.

Harry laid his bags down next to Niall's and stood up, blushing when he noticed who the other lad in the room was. "Oh, Louis. Hi." He waved shyly at the older boy, who waved back at him. "Hey, kid. How was your shopping?" Harry smiled and started digging into one of his bags. "Great. I got this great pair of shorts at the thrift store. They're like a 1950s vintage chic style. Lookie." The boy pulled out a pair of lime-green shorts from the bag and held them up proudly, a wide grin on his face as he showed them off.

Louis nodded as he admired the shorts, glad that the young boy hadn't pointed out his red-rimmed eyes or tear-stained cheeks. "Oh, Li-Li, I almost forgot." The boy dropped the shorts to the ground and then went back into the bags, pulling out a small box this time. "I know that you were running low on underwear so I picked you up some new boxers. It's a four-pack, and I think they're all really cute. In my opinion." Liam ducked his head and took the box from the boy, tossing it onto the chair next to him. "C'mon, mate. Let me see your cute new boxers. I bet your little bum will look great in them."

Before Liam could snap at Louis, they were interrupted once again by the Irish trainwreck running back into the room, shaking his hands around like a madman. "Uh, lads." The three boys turned to look at him. "You've got absolutely no towels in your loo. I've got damp hands." He rubbed his hands all over Harry's t-shirt, making him squirm away. "See, damp!" Liam rolled his eyes and picked his teacup off the table, heading over to the kettle to heat it up again. "Niall, Haz, would you like a cuppa? This batch of Yorkshire is especially good, but I haven't figured out what narcotic it's laced with, yet. Heroine, maybe?"

Liam examined the box of tea as he waited for the boys to laugh at his joke, which they never did. "I'll take a cup," Harry said brightly. Niall shook his head at the older boy. The youngest lad looked to Louis but the boy also shook his head. "Nah, mate, I'm good. Got me own cup 'ere and after this one, I'll be done." Louis held up his cup to the boy and went back to looking at his phone, trying to draw less attention to himself. "Well, you sexy, sexy beasts, I really have to get back home. Mum is making breaded chicken tonight and I cannot miss that. See you boys later. Mwah." Niall blew a kiss to the older boys in the room before pulling Harry into a hug, kissing his cheek sloppily. "Bye, Ni. Love you." The blonde gathered up all of his bags and left, Harry shutting the door behind him.

After closing the door, the boy started to gather up his stuff to take to his room but he was stopped by Liam's calloused hand on his arm. "Um, Haz, why don't you sit down for a sec. We need to talk." Harry dropped his things back down and sat at the table next to Louis. Liam followed him and set the boy's tea in front of him, taking the seat to his left. "What's up?" Louis sat up straighter and looked at Liam, gesturing for him to talk. "Uh, Lou is gonna be staying with us for a while. He and his kind-of-boyfriend just broke up and he just needs a place to stay right now. Is that okay with you, Haz?" Louis took a deep breath, hoping the boy wouldn't say no. "Of course I don't mind. This is your apartment, Li."

Liam smiled in relief, glad that the boy wasn't upset, but Harry had a look of concern on his face. "Is everything okay, Louis? Do you need anything?" Louis shook his head at the lanky boy and smiled. "No, Haz. I'm totally fine. Just a little setback." Harry's heart soared at the sound of his nickname on Louis's tongue. It rolled off of it perfectly. "Well, lads, glad that's all settled, but I need to get to work. Harry, you be good and don't bother Louis. Lou, I'll come by to get you after work so we can go get the rest of your stuff from El Douche's house." Louis smiled and shot the bigger lad a thumbs-up. Liam grabbed his keys and left, leaving the two boys to just stare at each other.