Quinthia

the breakup

i have to break up with him

i broke down in the stairs crying making sure no one hears me, i move my hand up to my mouth to stop my sob coming out.
once i had to courage to say what i was dreading, i wiped my tears and made my way to quinton and i's room.

i walked in and saw quinton sitting on the bed anxiously waiting for me to give him josh's answer. little did he know this was going to be the end of our relationship

quinton looked up and his eyes lit up when he saw me

quinton: what? what did he say?

cynthia: i have something i've been wanting to say

i walk over to him, his eyes never leave mine as i sat next to him

quinton: ....... what is it

cynthia: i have been thinking a lot about our relationship for the past couple of months and this whole tour thing has
made me realize-

*a tear rolls down my face and i shut my eyes to restrain anymore from coming down*

cynthia: ... it has made me realize i rely on you as my only source of happiness and i can't let that be the main factor because if this relationship goes on for longer than it is right now and we end up breaking up in the future, i'd be even more in love with you than i am right now and i would completely lose myself without you. i don't want that type of liability being on you, so i need to find my happiness on my own and i need to step away from this relationship to do so

i had to make him think that the breakup was on me and not him, i don't want him blaming himself

quinton: where is this coming from? you were just excited to come with me. we were going to spend the rest of our lives together

quintons voice was shaking as we spoke and i could tell i had hurt him which is something i've never even dreamt of doing. it ripped a piece of my that i will forever regret doing. hurting the man i love most.

cynthia: i guess it never really hit me until recently

quinton: recently? so you've been thinking about this for while?

cynthia: quinton i am so sorry, none of this is your fault, i just need a while to myself and i guess i wasn't sure what i was getting myself into when we started this

at this point tears were running down my face nonstop

quinton: it has been 8 months, almost a year and now you are telling me that you cannot commit to this relationship because you weren't ready? why did you let me fall for you, you think i am your only source of happiness? well you are my only source of happiness what do you think this'll do to me once we breakup

cynthia: i am so sorry quinton, i-i just need some time.... alone

quinton stood up aggressively

quinton: so we're done is what your trying to say?

i opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out, i was left speechless just staring at him blankly

quinton: great you can't even say it

he looked around the room nervously, his hands trembling

cynthia: quinton... we- we are done. i am so sorry

i covered my face with my hands as i sobbed

quinton: goodbye cynthia

quinton left the room slamming the door

even though it was the hardest thing i've done, i'm glad he is mad because he is blaming me and not himself. i can't have him go on tour with him distracted because he's blaming himself for our relationship ending

i sat in my room sobbing like i've never have in my life. i am left broken

i will try updating as much as i can but omg this was so hard to write. leave comments of what you think is going to happen