Baby Pogue // JJ Maybank

22. cleaning myself up

Another two weeks had passed, making it three weeks of JJ and Avie ignoring each other. Avie had stopped texting and calling when she realized he was not going to answer her. Her heart hurt but she knew she did this to herself.

She should have talked about it with JJ but she didn't and either way, she's not changing her mind.

They took turns hanging out with the pogues. If one ran into the other, one would leave. Normally it was Avie. She was going through a phase of excluding herself. She didn't do it on purpose but with her bump growing slowly, she felt embarrassed by it.

And with one more week until senior year of high school, she was freaking out about hiding her bump. Without having the support from JJ, she felt alone.

He was the father and she longed for him to be by her side but she couldn't bring herself to change her mind which JJ did not like.

The two never actually said if they had broken up or not. Everyone assumed they did but JJ and Avie both secretly new it wasn't the end.

Avie felt like they were on a break and JJ was just working through his feelings.

Truth was, he missed Avie more than life itself. He wanted to run back to her, hug her, love her, and tell her that he was right here. But he couldn't. Not when she betrayed him. Not when she made a huge decision that he had no say on.

Avie laid on her couch, watching TV with her mom.

"Whatcha thinkin'? The Good Doctor or Ginny and Georgia?" Amelia asked as she scrolled through Netflix.

Avie shrugged.

Amelia knew her daughter's situation and was trying to keep a positive environment for her. She always reminded Avie that she was pregnant once, or three times, before too. She needed a positive environment to thrive.

"Sweetie, c'mon. You've barely been out of your room other than to work. I want to spend time with you." Amelia looked at her sadly.

"It's too much, Mom."

"Talk to me." Amelia turned the TV off and turned her attention to Avie.

Avie sat up, wrapping a blanket around herself, "Everything; being pregnant, losing JJ, my stupid bump showing at school, finding a family. I can't even think."

"Avery, you know you did not lose JJ. He's gonna fix himself up; I am sure of it." She rubbed her daughters leg.

Avie shook her head, "He won't stop the stupid smoking. But it doesn't matter. She's going up for adoption."

"You think he loves that little girl?"

"I didn't think he did. Or at least I didn't think he was so set on raising it yet..."

"Until...?"

"Until I saw his face when I told him." Avie looked down.

"You may not believe it but, I'll swear it, if JJ loves that baby he will be willing to give up his entire life for her. Let alone a stupid Juul?" Amelia paused to look at Avie, "Look, I know you two didn't want this, but when you carry a child and expect to raise it together, you form an intense bond very quickly. Even if he's not the one carrying it." She lectured her daughter sweetly.

"Mom, it's stupid."

"Avery Mae. Listen to me. You have a little bit to decide but adoption is hard. Alright? You gotta go through birth then hand the baby over to people you barely know. You are going to experience a bond like no other. And so will JJ."

Avie shrugged, "And I don't want to be pregnant at school."

Amelia chuckled to herself, "You did this to yourself."