The St Patrick Series Book #1: The St Patrick Bride

Chapter Thirty Six: I Thee Wed

Courtney's POV
"Before you go out there, I just want you to know that I'm proud of you for making this decision. Your father and I never gave you any permanence nor did we serve as good examples for how a family works. I'm happy and relieved that your experience with us hasn't deprived you of the ability to make your own experiences." Her warm palm gently embraced my cheek. "I love you Court!"

She tried not to cry but she failed when a few tears slipped.

"It takes more than a bad experience to deter me. I want you to know that it's okay. Let's just make new experiences, okay?"

She nodded in agreement. "New experiences. I'm going to be around more often. I promise." She pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

I paid attention to my father.

After Chris proposed, he didn't say anything to me.

"So..." He rubbed the back of his head. "Getting married."

It usually takes a moment for my dad to process certain emotions. He had the whole night and also all morning. I hope he won't get in the way. Part of me wants him to get in the way so that I can blame my flakiness on him.

"It looks that way. I have the dress and the flowers."

"It's a beautiful dress. I'm not good with flowers but they look good too. Every other father has this moment thought out. They know what to say. I don't know what to say Court. I didn't expect it to be this soon. You looked like the sort to marry after forty or never."

"You're right. I am the sort but Chris happened too soon."

"He's a keeper. I approve. Can you believe I tried finding anything that can give me a reason not to approve but I kept coming up short? He's that good a guy." He squeezed my arm. "I can't wait to walk you into the next phase of your life. I remember you asking me how your mother and I make it work when we are never together. You're about to experience it for yourself. He won't be close to you. You will not hear his voice everyday. That's where the challenge is because you need to trust in his love for you. If you can do that, you'll make it through like your mother and I have."

I hope I will be okay after he leaves tomorrow.

The next person waiting in line to say something to me is the woman with the biggest and brightest smile,; Lucille. She broke into a little applause. "You look beautiful!"

"Thank you."

"With a little glow." She whispered and stared at me expectantly. What does she want me to say? I'm not admitting it until it's impossible to call it bloating.

"Marianna did a great job with the make up."

"If you say so. It's not goodbye for me. It's welcome to the family! He may be leaving but his intentions are clear. He loves you. He wants you two to be together. Hold onto to that. Everything will be okay. Live in this moment, today and tomorrow. Everything will be fine."

That is what they are all saying. Hold on to his love... trust his love... but he's leaving.

I stopped a few steps away from my bridesmaids. In a few minutes I'll either be Mrs St Patrick or I'll run in the other direction and remain Court.

I looked at tbe open doors in front of me leading to Chris. I also noticed the other door that can be my exit. My heart is racing fast. I felt the bouquet in my hand becoming heavy. I held my neck taking a slight step back. Marianna and Freya are so engrossed in conversation they didn't notice. There's no one in my way but a few servants trying to set up the reception. I took another step back. Another followed before I was briskly walking towards the front door. I dropped the bouquet to turn the lock and took a swift exit.