The Future Firecracker

90 | ALONE AGAIN

CHAPTER NINETY
'alone again'

Never would I have thought that I would be in a position where I had to care for anyone close to me other than myself.

That's probably why I only dealt in environments where I was sure people could protect themselves, where they were strong enough to withstand the dark parts of society and even find humour in my anger.

She was both. She could tolerate me, be enough to calm me down to the point where I could think better and clearer.

So when I watched as the black liquid burst from her mouth to float and surround her body, I was frozen.

I knew what was happening.

I knew how sickening it was.

I knew how much it hurts.

It kills me that my legs couldn't move, how my throat didn't let anything out, not even a shout.

I didn't know what to do but panic like that.

And most of all, what could kill me more as I was dying mentally, her eyes. Shit, I would've been so annoyed at her.

She wasn't scared for herself.

She was never scared for herself.

She was scared for me.

Within half an hour of each other, the new family I had was taken from me just like that.

For once, I didn't know what a hero would do in this situation. I should know. I try to be the best.

Trying to do something isn't good enough apparently.

Because while everyone was still wondering who the people who took my son were, the love of my life was gone.

I was still, speechless and shattered.

Then in the silence, I wondered how I was feeling in the future.

I feel sorry for the man. I really am.

It only meant I still failed to protect them there.

Oh. What would my mom and dad think? They raised me good. I never want them to see me fail. Never.

But somehow, no matter how great I think I am, I'm always failing and the remains of my unexplainable codependency and misery consume me as my punishment.

I hate it.

I fucking hate it.

I wonder when it will stop.

I hope it's soon.

I don't want to be alone again.