Doubt

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2039
Magnus

"You are the most important person in my life, Magnus

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"You are the most important person in my life, Magnus."

I toss and turn in my sleep as that single sentence keeps echoing in my mind. I can't see the person saying it to me, but I don't have to. I already know who it is.

Alec...

I just don't know if it's a dream or a memory. But one thing is for sure. This person - dream or memory - loves me. All of me.

"You are the most important person in my life, Magnus."

Hitching for breath, I sit up rapidly. My bed is a mess and my pillow damp from tears I have been crying during my sleep. With every dream, I get more and more convinced that Alec isn't a dream. I believe he is a memory. That he was someone who loved me despite my faults and my emotional scars from living with my father.

One thing is for sure, Luke knew him. I look over at the man sleeping in a bed in the other end of the room.

How do you know him...? I want to ask, but I'm afraid to show to much interest in the so-called rebels from the Wasteland. I still don't know who I can trust. And if I'm being too curious about the people from the Wasteland, someone might begin to question my loyalty.

But would that be so wrong of them? I mean, am I even loyal to the Chancellor...?

I shake it off me.

Of course, I'm loyal. I'm a Protector. We serve the chancellor and the council. We serve The City. My job is important for our species survival!

Really...? Are you that important, or are you just a puppet controlled by a master?

The voice in my head isn't my own anymore. This time its Alec's... My body shivers as I remember how he screamed my name. It can't be a dream. It is real. He is real. It must be memories.

He loves me...

My body start to quiver, and I can't get it under control. I snuggle up in my bed with the comforter tugged tightly around me.

Someone loves me... I'm worthy of being loved... I have never been loved before. I always thought it wasn't for me...

Slowly my mind begins to settle down and I drift into a dream filled with love.

A song I don't remember when or where I've heard, fills my head and accompanies my dream.

Between the wars we danced

This time he is not the teenage boy with the hazel eyes. He is the grown man I saw in the Wasteland.

"You came..." he smiles at me.

"of course..." I answer. "I wouldn't miss this for the world..."

somehow, I know that to be true. He takes my hand and pulls me closer.

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