Deviator

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2039
Alec

"What are you doing, Alexander?"

I'm met with an extremely confused facial expression as he opens the door and sees me standing outside with a packed duffle bag.

"I'm moving in. Isn't it obvious?" I push past him with a smile on my face. "I won't let you stay out here alone No chance in hell." I drop the bag and turn to him. "I've just found you. I'm not letting you out of my sight again. I'm not losing you again."

For a second, I can see the old Magnus within him. He smiles at me, not just with his mouth but his eyes too. in the exact same way, he used to do when we were teenagers, and he finally had a chance to stop worrying about his dad.

I want to pull him in for a hug, but nearly as soon as I have finished the thought, the smile has left his face. Reminding me that it is not the same guy anymore. Not entirely. Which I do understand. I mean if he has been through anything remotely similar to what Sebastian went through then... let's just say, I know not to push his boundaries.

"Alexander, you don't have too..."

"Come on, Magnus. Do you really think you can change my mind about this?" I put on my most cocky grin just to get him to roll his eyes at me and laugh, like he used too. But I guess we are not completely there yet. He is just looking at me. No change at all in his facial expression. So, I change tactics. "Magnus, please let me do this. I promise, I'll keep a distance. I'll even sleep inside the holding cells if that makes you more comfortable."

His lips turn slightly upwards as his eyes drifts from me to the tiny cell. I can tell he is amused by the idea of me sleeping in that tiny area.

"It would be pretty fun to see you in there. After all, if I remember correctly, you were a spoiled rich kid with the fancy bed in a room as big as my parents' house."

"I think you are exaggerating a bit... I wasn't that spoiled." I wink at him, and he cracks a smile. A genuine smile that lasts longer than a second and it makes my heart flutter.

"I don't think I am." He says. "But there's no need for you to sleep in there. You'll just annoy my other roommate." As on que Jacob growls. "You can take the couch."

Magnus goes back to make the bed that Jace has provided for him. It's not anything fancy, but at least it is a bed. I sit down on the couch and watch him. I can't help myself.

"You are staring at me, Alexander."

"I'm sorry. I just can't believe you are really here."

"Well, I am. So, stop staring at me."

"Sorry" I look down, but I'm still able to see him out of the corner of my eye. And I can tell he knows. He sighs dramatically.

"Seriously!" He turns to me and crosses his arms over his chest. "Are you going to start that up again?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about." I lie.

"Of course you do. You always used to stared at me when you thought I wasn't looking. I remember that really well, and it was so annoying."

"I did not."

"yes, you did! Come on, I know you remember." He has stepped closer to me while debating the issue and I can't help but smirk. Then he realizes what I have been doing. "oh... you ware baiting me, weren't you? He says while still standing close to me. "You purposely annoyed me to get me to react, didn't you?"

"Guilty." Grinning I reach out and grab his shoulders. "And it worked. I knew you were in there somewhere. My easily annoyable best friend."

"oh, shut up." He pouts and walks back to the bed. But I can hear the smile in his voice. Finally... My Magnus is on the mend.

When he is done with his bed, he begins removing his clothes and for a second, I don't know what to do with myself. I know he is just getting ready to go to bed, but my mind instantly goes elsewhere. Out of respect for his privacy - and fear of jumping his bones - I go outside.

"Jesus Christ..." I mumble for myself as I drag a hand over my flushed face. "Why was that so hot?"

"Who are you talking to?" Lydia's voice travels down from the lookout platforms as she peaks her head over the side and look down at me.

"No one... but I could be talking to you...?" I nod towards the latter and she gesture for me to climb up and join her.

"I see you found Magnus." Lydia says as soon as I reach the top.

"Yes..." I sit down next to her.

"What's wrong?"

Of course, she picks up on my body language immediately. It's Lydia. She knows me better than anyone. I swallow a couple of times before I'm able to speak.

"I'm just... I don't know... ashamed, I think. Feeling guilty, maybe."

"Why?"

"For a couple of reasons. First off, I nearly threw myself at him in there." I nod towards the Laboratory. "Secondly..." I sigh heavily.

"It's just... don't get me wrong, I love that Magnus is here. I couldn't be happier. And that is the problem."

"Why is that a problem?"

I take a deep breath and look at her. The girl who I can tell anything, but this time... I'm afraid she will judge me... "am I being a dick to Sebastian?" my voice cracks as I say his name.

"Oh honey..." she puts her arms around me. "No, of course not..."

"But... I just lost him... he is dead, Lydia. Dead. And here I am - so shortly after- feeling happy. And in love." I swallow a couple of times. My throat is closing up. "How can I be so cruel? Sebastian loved me. With everything he had, and now it's like I don't even care..."

"Of course, you care, Alec. Don't do this to yourself. You love Sebastian. No one doubts that."

"I do..." I whisper "I doubt that I ever loved him as much as he deserved... Especially now..."

"You loved him..." she takes my head in her hands. "You just love Magnus more. And that's okay. It doesn't make you love Sebastian less. He was your partner. Your lover. And you set him free. There is nothing to be ashamed off. He was done in this world, Alec. And you gave him peace."

"Alexander..." Magnus voice sounds right underneath the platform and I look down at him. "I can't find a blanket... do you know where they are?"

"I have one in my duffle. You can just take that."

"Oh... okay... thank you." Magnus keeps lingering below the platform and I wonder if there is something else wrong.

"Anything else?" I ask and he shuffles his feet slightly before answering.

"No..." he drags out the word as he speaks and then it hits me. That little word and the way he says it tells me everything. He doesn't want to be alone but aren't able to express it. He hates showing emotions and being vulnerable. How could I forget? This is a classic Magnus situation. He neve asks for what he wants.

"You know what," I say as I get up, "ill come down now and go find a second blanket. It's getting late anyway."

Magnus doesn't say anything in response, but I can see his face light up and that makes me feel so good.