Deviator

Isolation

2039
Jace

"Help.... Please help me..." The man in the cell next to mine hasn't stopped praying since he was locked up. And it is starting to bother me. I know its not fair of me, but I wish he would just pass out or something. Anything to make him shut up.

I turn onto my back on the bunk and cover my ears with my hands. I squeeze my eyes shut and pretend that I'm back at the Hostel. With my friends. My family. Even though it is nearly impossible to think clearly with the constant begging and pleading from the other cell.

"Would you please just shut up for a second..." I mutter as I pull the blanket over my head. Although it stinks like it is rarely cleaned, I keep covering my head with it. Maybe the smell can distract me from his obnoxious voice.

"Please... someone...? Anyone...? Let me out... please...!" The man continually begs.

I focus on remembering Clary's face. Her red hair, beautiful smile. The way she always made me feel important. But I can't tune out the obnoxious voice.

"Someone please let me out of here..."

"Shut up!!!" one of the other isolated screams at him in frustration. "Or I swear to God, I will fucking make you shut up!"

The man who had been praying suddenly starts crying instead. Damn, he would never survive for long outside The Wall. Not with a weak mind like that. He is way to sensitive. Easy to break. Not like the hunters I have been living with for the last decade.

I sigh deeply as the memories of home fills my head. Damn, I miss them. All of them. But Especially Alec and Simon. They have always been a huge part of my life. And now they are just gone... I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake. When I left them to follow Clary, I knew that it would be difficult. That I would have to pay some kind of price to be able to be with her, but I hadn't thought I would be this high. I hadn't thought that I wouldn't get to see her at all. And to top it all, there is the fact that Angel and her dad is here. And Angel seems different. So different.

She has been by to visit me a few times, but she hasn't explained anything at all yet. She just talks about what it will be like when I get out of isolation. That I will be living with her and her father, but under the radar. No one can know I'm here and I don't understand why. She won't explain it to me. all she says is that I will never get to see anyone but her and her father.

I knew that the city was different. With strict rules. I've learned that much from Sebastian's stories and the few things Magnus and Clary's has said about the place. But this is definitely not what I expected.

"Hi Jace."

Her voice still gives me goosebumps, like it always has. I can't deny that there is still something between us. She was my first love.

"Angel..." I get up from my bunk. "You are back." Against my will, my voice sounds a lot more desperate than I would like. I try to convince myself it's because of me being in solitary. But I fail. I know its so much more than that.

"of course, my love. I would never leave you. Not for real. We are bound together you and I."

My heart beats just a little faster and I instantly feel guilty. Like I'm cheating on Clary. I just can't stop myself.

"But you did leave me, Angel. Without any explanation. One day you were just gone."

"Baby..." she steps closer to the bars and reach out to touch my fingers.

"Maintain distance to the Isolated!" The guard yells and Angels sighs and steps back with an annoyed expression on her face.

"I didn't want to leave you. We had to."

"I don't care!" I scream and Angel looks so surprised at my sudden outburst. I'm even surprised myself. I didn't know that this still was an issue for me. but apparently it is. my heart is hammering in my chest and I can't stop the words from leaving my mouth. "You left me! you broke me!" I take a deep breath to calm down a little. For a few moments we just stare at each other. It's obvious she hadn't expected this reaction. Neither had I. "I loved you..." I whisper. "More than I have ever loved anyone..."

"I'm so sorry Jace..." And she sound genuine sorry, but that doesn't do me any good.

"I don't care if you are sorry. You left me and I had to find a way to live without you in a time where I needed you more than anything." My voice begins to tremble. "I watched my sister die. I saw my brother almost loose his mind... I needed you."

"Jace..." she steps closer once more and I angrily take a step back.

"I needed you!" I scream as the buried feelings overwhelms me. I never really had the time to mourn the loss of my girlfriend, the loss of my sister... my world was turned upside down, and I had to be the strong one. I had to push all my emotions away to be able to be a leader for the people who needed me. and now I realize I blame her. Not that it makes any sense why I should blame her, but something inside me resents her for leaving me to deal with all that crap alone.

"I can tell you are upset..." she speaks in a soft voice, but I can see anger reflecting in her eyes. She isn't happy that I'm blaming her. She is pissed. "I'll be back tomorrow when you have calmed down." Then she turns around and leave, and I'm left in my cell with feeling hollow inside.