It's the year 2038 and a deadly virus has consumed the world for more than 14 years.
In Denmark, an unknown politician took it upon himself to create a safe space from the infected. As long as you abide by the 8 Obligations, you are allowed to live...
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Surviving in the wasteland is even harder that I thought it would be, but then again, I didn't really put a lot of time into the decision-making process when Magnus told me he would leave the Hostel. And I don't regret it. Not for a second.
We have only been on our own a few weeks, but it feels like years. We are constantly dodging the Anthroes as well as the protectors. Furthermore, we have to keep an eye out for other survivors. Most people aren't all that friendly anymore. Not that I have seen any in a long time.
Right now, we have barricaded ourselves inside a small townhouse, far away from both the Hostel and the City. We have moved further into the land to avoid the Protectors even though water is our greatest ally against the Anthroes. But you can't have it all. And right now, I fear the protectors a lot more than the Anthroes. Mainly because of the nightmare that once again kept Magnus awake at night. Leaving the safety from the Hostel has triggered some of his anxieties again. Not that he is speaking about it, but I know he fears being dragged back to The City and his former life as a houseservant even more than he fears death.
I know it was the same for Sebastian. The cruelty of what he had been through in The City were overshadowing everything else in Sebastian's life. To the point where death was something to look forward to.
I can feel the tears threatening to fall, so I instantly pull my thoughts away from the past. Sebastian is still a sore spot for me. Especially the guilt and shame that is attached to my memories of his last few days. And the way I just have moved on afterwards. Like he meant nothing to me... I hate myself for it... but I can't change the way I feel about Magnus and how getting him back in my life has changed me for the better. All I can do is live in the present and ignore the guilt that is gnawing in my gut.
"Do we have any food left?" Magnus peeks out from under the blanket where he has been hiding the last hour or so. Once in a while he needs a break from reality, since he doesn't get it in his dreams or during the day, so he just climbs underneath a blanket and stay there for a while. I've tried to comfort him, join him. Be there for him in anyway, but he has told me that the best I can do is just to be in the room with him. So that's what I'm doing. I'm giving him space to retract into his own mind for an hour or two a day.
"We have a few biscuits..." I toss him the package and he gently take one and breaks of tiny pieces which he then eats very slowly. It is how we try to trick our stomachs into thinking they are full. It doesn't really work, but it has become like a tradition now.
I watch him as he eats, and even though we are both disgustingly filthy and smells terrible, I still find him attractive. So beautiful. I can spend hours just watching him.
And watching him is all I can do, after we left the Hostel. We can't let our guards down far enough to be intimate together. It's too dangerous. We have to constantly be alert. We even sleep in shifts. But I miss him. I miss felling his body against mine. His lips devouring mine. But we can't risk it. Not until we find something more permanent and safer.
