The dumbass and the smartass

Special Chapter

Lisa’s POV
 
Jennie and I have been on good terms this past few months, we are already married. That was the good news, she’s Mrs. Manoban now ehe. We didn’t have the grandest wedding since we both agreed to have a private ceremony, only our closest friends and Jennie’s relatives attend. We got married twice and now we are planning to have our third wedding in another country. It was Jennie’s idea. She said that if I’ll marry her a lot of times then it’ll be hard for me to file a divorce and ofcourse she said she won’t sign any documents. What a smartass but who am I to divorce the most gorgeous lady I’ve ever seen in the world as we said in our vows, til death do us apart. We also bought a house I mean a mansion, Jennie insist that we should get a gigantic one since she plan to make lots of babies with me. Maybe five or ten kids is enough but she said she want to make a dozen, in that case I won’t ever leave her.
 
“So why are you smiling alone huh? Did you already lost your sanity hon?” she  pop up only on her nighties showing her white milky legs.
 
I gulp upon seeing a nice view.
 
“Eyes here hon” I look up and she have a cute smirk on her luscious lips.
 
“Jen can you please stop seducing me, it’s early in the morning” I whined.
 
She giggled “Why? You can’t keep up with my energy? Awwweeee poor baby” she wrap her arms on my waist hugging me at the back as I prepare our breakfast.
 
I stomp my feet like a kid “I’m not a baby”
 
I’m busy mixing the flour making a pancake.
 
“You’re my baby” she rub my belly.
 
“Jennie!” I chuckled.
 
“What?” she dumbfoundedly ask.
 
I just pout on how cute my wife is, I wonder how our kids will look like. I let her face me and gave her a peck in the lips, we both smiled. A simple peck became something more passionate and aggressive, I carry her on the counter top kissing her fully while my hands are busy roaming on her legs.
 
She grab my neck with her small hands making the kiss deeper, she slowly remove the buttons of my polo.
 
Our make out is getting hotter and smells like a burnt bread. I suddenly push her making her lay down fully on the counter top, she was so damn sexy but the pancakes I’m cooking is useless now.
 
“Shit! The pancakes” I look in disappointment seeing the burned food.
 
“Ah what a great timing” Jennie was already sitting on the counter top while her legs are cross.
 
“I’ll make another pancake, just wait a..”
 
“I don’t like pancakes anymore, it ruined our intimate moment” she said annoyed.
 
I throw the waste food on the garbage bin.
 
“What would you like to eat?” I stand in between her legs as she wrap her hands on my neck.
 
She gave a shy smile “What if we eat each other”
 
My eyes went wide upon hearing it “You’re getting nuts, I’m not a cannibal to do that. If you eat human meat, I’m out of it”
 
It was disgusting to eat your own specie yet Jennie was suggesting that kind of ridiculous idea.
 
She burst out laughing making me confuse “Hahahahahahahaha oh god you haven’t change”
 
She even include god to her craziness.
 
“Why? Is it normal for you to eat someone?” my mind is still in a shock state.
 
She nod “Specially if it’s you” she flick my nose which made me step back a little.
 
“Huh?” I ask.
 
Her cute giggles was music to my ears “You’ll never really get it even if I explain it to you” she sigh “I’m so effin smart but why do I love a cute dork like you”
 
I tuck her hair behind her ear “Simply because you love me and opposite attracts”
 
“Didn’t know you had some kind of brain there” I pout when I heard her comment.
 
She peck my lips “So do you want to eat me?” her brows wiggled.
 
“uhm” I was hesitating since I never tried to eat human meat and ofcourse I don’t want to eat Jennie.
 
It would be the end of us.
 
“I’ll show you so your tiny brain would have idea” she cling into me and I carried her like a baby.
 
I’m really nervous of what we will do, she said she’ll show me so it means she’ll eat me first. I don’t wanna die like this.
 
“You’re trembling and you look pale hahahahahaha” she laugh while I’m scared of my own life “I really don’t mean I’ll eat you literally”
 
She whispered “We’ll do oral sex, got it? Like..”
 
I kiss her so she can shut her dirty cute mouth “Just tell me you want babies, not like eating each other”
 
I successfully carried her to our room I laid her slowly in the bed, she carry her weight through her elbows so she can get a better view of me.
 
“Like what you see?” I remove my polo leaving my sports bra.
 
I’m not boastful but I boast I have a nice body, the hardwork of exercise at night.
 
“I like it better without those” she point my other garments.
 
“Hmmm you pervert. Where’s the innocent Jennie?” I remove my pajamas revealing my boxer shorts while my little bud is absolutely hard.
 
“She’s gone, I’m Rubyjane” she bite her lips.
 
I made my way to her, placing myself on top of her tracing her collar bones using my long warm fingers.
 
But before I could even kiss her the doorbell rang which made us both groan in frustration. The disappointment in our face was evident.
 
“Who the fuck would visit this early morning?!?” Jennie was pissed.
 
“I don’t even know” I sat on the edge of the bed.
 
I pick up my pajama and polo, I wear them while Jennie was still laying on the bed. Oh God I’m doomed since I knew exactly what this kind of mood she had right now, whoever press the doorbell I’ll kill that person.
 
“I’ll open the door hon, hmmm do whatever you like for the mean time. I’ll be fast” she didn’t even respond to me.
 
She buried her face on the sheets feeling down all of a sudden. It’s sexy time yet this motherfucker keeps on ringing the bell.
 
I stomp my feet loudly as I walk down the stairs the sound echoed on the entire place.
 
I know you’re wondering why there’s no servants or maids or even bodyguards at all. Our home was extremely safe, if I said extreme it will totally blow your mind. Only the people we trust are registered to our system generated house, once you’re not registered your record will be shown to our data base and can be considered as threat that will alarm me right away.
 
“Hey open up!!!” I knew it.
 
“Wait a minute!!!” I yelled back.
 
I’m absolutely pissed, this stupid girl know when to interrupt. Does she have any radar with her that informs her everytime Jennie and I would have our sexy time? This isn’t the first or second or even third time she did this to us, she did it a lot of times. Like what the fuck.
 
I open the door revealing to who other than Jisoo the fucking annoying turtle rabbit Kim.
 
“Hello!” she greet enthusiastically.
 
I only had my poker face on.
 
“Ohhh did we interrupt something?” she still had the audacity to act innocent.
 
I nod.
 
“God so sorry, my wifey can’t wait anymore to see you” she had this puppy eyes.
 
At her back Rosè was there smiling like a 3 year old kid who saw her crush again.
 
“Lisaaaaaaa!!!” she hug me quickly wrapping her arms around me “I miss you little cute monkey” she pinch my cheeks.
 
Aish pregnant woman, of all people why does she conceived of me.
 
“Awwwweeee she’s so cute, did you see how her eyes rolled baby?” she look at Jisoo who’s pouting.
 
Her lips is like those from the ducks, I also had the same facial expression since she ruined what Jennie and I is currently doing. Now she feels envious because Chaeng was in favor of me more than her.
 
“I’m more cute than her” she whined.
 
Chaeng look at her blankly “You’re not, you look like our baby dalgom”
 
I laugh “Oh god that was a good joke hahahahahahaha”
 
While we are happily chatting someone or should I say the love of my life cleared her throat.
 
“What’s going on here?” we all look at her.
 
She already wear something that’s not revealing any much skin.
 
“Can you take your wife away, she’s annoying” Jisoo crossed her arms.
 
Jennie tuck her hair behind her ear as she walks down the stairs “I can’t blame Rosé if she sees my wife so pretty handsome”
 
I smile widely, I know my cheeks are blushing as of the moment.
 
“Tsk pretty annoying” Jisoo had really a bad day.
 
“Since you’re both here, Lisa will cook for all of us. Right honey?” that tone again.
 
I didn’t have the guts to decline because if I did, I know I’m going to end on the sofa.
 
“Yeah, I’ll cook for our food” Chaeng cling closer to me.
 
“Can I watch you?” she said.
 
Jennie was so okay with this set up, she don’t even get jealous at all its because she consider Chaeng as her sister.
 
“Yeah, but….stay seated when I’m cooking, okay?” I warned.
 
She nodded “Aye aye captain”
 
She was so childish right now, will I experience this too if I impregnate Jennie? Or she’ll be more childish?
 
Me and Chaeng went on the kitchen while the other two had their mini talks on the living room. There Chaeng saw a messy kitchen, she just cleared her throat. I immediately clean the mess we had earlier.
 
“So how’s the married life with Jennie?” Chaeng start up a conversation.
 
I start slicing the onions “The best days of my life, we have lots of plans but I don’t think we will do all of that”
 
We both laugh.
 
“But atleast you have plans, how about your plan of studying again? Did she allow it?” I look at her.
 
Yeah, I wanted to study. It’s because I also want to have a degree, a complete education. Jennie said I don’t have to since I’m already working and I already have her but I wanted to graduate. You know what I’m afraid about? Not able to graduate since it’s hard for me to think normally, like duh I’m a dumbass.
 
“She said she’ll think about it, either I’ll have online class or private classes. I already told her I want to attend university but she doubt. I don’t know why, is it inappropriate to attend university if I’m already 28?” I chuckled.
 
Chaeng laugh loudly “Shit dude she’s so possessive”
 
“Huh?” I was confuse.
 
“She doesn’t want you to attend universities because she think people will always seek for your attention” she explained.
 
I stop cutting the green bell peppers “is that so? Why did she think of that? Silly girl”
 
Chaeng grab some apple on the counter top, then I remembered what happened minutes ago in this place.
 
“Jennie’s the kind of girl who’s always jealous, no matter what time of the day” Chaeng comment.
 
“Really?”
 
“You’ve been together for a long time yet you can’t understand her? Gosh Manobal” her attitude doesn’t suit her angelic face.
 
I sigh “Jennie is like a surprise for me, I don’t know what’s inside of her mind. We really are the opposite, I don’t know when will she be the sweetest or when will she be the meanest while she can predict me with just the blink of her eye”
 
Chaeng giggled “Because you’re stupid”
 
“Hey that’s below the belt, I consider the fact that you always call me Manobal but telling me I’m stupid…” I stop.
 
“which is true” she added.
 
I can’t fight back since it’s true, but even though I’m stupid it doesn’t mean I’ll always be.
 
“Okay sorry, you’re not that very stupid. Not like a 100 percent stupid” she comment.
 
“Really? Maybe I’m like 40 percent stupid right?” my eyes sparkle in happiness.
 
“Nope, maybe around 99.9 percent stupidity” Chaeng laugh that filled the entire kitchen.
 
I pouted “You won’t taste this food I’m cooking. You’ll not eat later”
 
She suddenly pout “Okay maybe you’re 1 percent stupid or maybe not stupid at all hehe” she’s so adorable.
 
“Is that the effect of being pregnant?” I am so curious.
 
She continued eating the apple “Maybe”
 
I focus cooking our breakfast I decided to make some omelet and fried rice since we had leftover last night. Jennie’s been a little picky on food this past few weeks, she’ll ask something that’s even hard to find or she’ll taste the food she wanted me to cook but after a few minutes she’ll say she don’t like it anymore.
 
Another weird thing she do is she mix foods. It’s literally weird for me, I even want to puke but I never showed it to her. Imagine she mix vanilla ice cream to something minty or dip the orange on pistachio sauce, that’s absolutely insane.
 
“You done? I’m really hungry” Rosé brought me back to reality.
 
“Uhm yeah, I’m nearly done” I smiled.
 
I slowly put the cook dishes on their respective plates, I carried it with both hands while Chaeng followed behind. I put it on our dining table, Rosé happily sit on one of the chairs.
 
“Wait for us” she just pout as I said it.
 
I’m walking where the living room is when I misheard the two talking.
 
“Jisoo, let’s keep this a secret okay? It will stay between us” Jennie almost say it in a whisper.
 
They didn’t see me since I’m at their back.
 
“Yeah, only between us. But, when will you tell her? It’s not like we could keep it forever” she casually replied.
 
Are they having an affair behind our backs? What the actual fuck they’re cousins.
 
“When I had the chance, I know she’ll be surprise” Jennie was so excited.
 
My brain is having some malfunctions trying to understand what I just heard from them. A secret between them. Did they fell in love to each other this past few months and they just realized it now?
 
I was startled when Chaeng whined “I thought you called them? I’m so hungryyyyy”
 
Jisoo and Jennie look at us.
 
“Are you both standing there for a long time already? Uhm have you heard anything?” Jennie was somehow nervous.
 
Is she nervous about me finding out their relationship? I’m a well grown woman.
 
“Let’s eat” I hold Chaeng leading her to the dining area.
 
The two followed us behind not still speaking nor even making a sound.
 
I put some food on Chaeng’s plate which I don’t usually do, they all look surprised.
 
“Awwweeee you really love me that much” she kiss me on my cheek.
 
I widely smiled at her when Jisoo cleared her throat “You might forget this is your wife” she point at Jennie “And she’s mine” she point at Chaeng.
 
I don’t know why I feel grumpy “I know that moron”
 
Jennie look at me worriedly “You okay? Is there something bothering you?” she rub my back.
 
I kept silent while I’m busy catering Chaeng, I notice how Jennie balled her fist. Uh oh not good.
 
“You like this?” I offered her some food.
 
She glare at me “No!”
 
I’m in trouble now.
 
“Why did you suddenly feel cold to me? Tell me Lalisa Manoban” this is really trouble since she state my whole name.
 
“I-it’s because I heard you and Jisoo talking a while ago, you’re having an affair…..with her”
 
“What?!???” they all said in unison.
 
I’m so brokenhearted I wanna cry, how can they do this to me.
 
The atmosphere was so serious when Jennie and Jisoo laugh hard, they look at each other then laugh again.
 
They’re out of their minds should we bring them to the asylum?
 
“Oh shit this was the most hilarious joke I’ve ever heard hahahahahahaha did you see her face? She’s about to cry hahahahahahaha” Is Jennie serious right now? She’s laughing at me.
 
I sulk in my seat and keep silent while they’re both laughing, Rosé in other hand was confuse.
 
“So what’s the matter? I don’t get it” she asked.
 
I stood up and went straight on our room, I lock it before I put my headphones on playing whatever song my phone had. They can’t open that door since the key was in our side table so I’m confident they won’t ever disturb me.
 
I’m enjoying some Olivia Rodrigo’s song not minding if they laugh all day long there or talk about how stupid I look like earlier. Maybe after 5 minutes or more I heard a loud thud but I didn’t even bother to open my eyes to see what happened. Someone grab the headphones.
 
“What the fuck Lisa!!!!! You scared me to death” Jennie’s face was red, her hands are trembling.
 
I went near her “I’m so sorry” I hug her “I’m so sorry about my behavior”
 
She was breathing heavily and sigh.
 
“Hey, look what you did! Stress is not good for them” Jisoo butt in.
 
“For them?!?” I shout which made Jennie startled “Sorry hon”
 
“I’m pregnant” she mumbled.
 
“Ahhhhh I see you’re….you’re what?!???” I look at her with wide eyes “I didn’t mishear it right? You’re…oh my god!!!” I cup her face and kiss her “Why didn’t you tell me? When did you knew you’re pregnant? Did you already..”
 
“You’re being talkative now” she roll her eyes “I’m one month pregnant now, I did my PT test a week ago and to make sure I really am, me and Jisoo went to the doctor for check up. It turns out I’m really pregnant we plan to surprise you but you’re so stupid a while ago” she look at me blankly.
 
“Sorry honnnnn I didn’t know that’s your topic, I thought it’s….”
 
“Jisoo and I having an affair? Hahahahahaha you’re really stupid” she laugh “I’d rather take my own life than being with her”
 
We all laugh on what she said except Jisoo that’s having a displeased expression.
 
“Yeyyyy I’m not the only one who’s pregnant now” Chaeng jump like a kid, anyway she’s 3 months pregnant already.
 
“Yes, I want to have lots of babies with Lisa. Even if she don’t want to have sexy time with me I’ll rape her” my wife is so naughty but what she said is true.
 
Sometimes even if I didn’t want to, she’ll make a way to make me say yes like seducing me. I trust my brain but I don’t trust my hormones.
 
“Look here!” Jisoo speak.
 
We both glance at her and she capture a picture without even informing us.
 
“What a perfect couple” they both look at the picture.
 
Chaeng pout “Can we continue eating I’m still hungry”
 
“You’re always hungry Chaeng” I tease “Look how fat you’re”
 
“Hey it’s because I’m pregnant” she defend herself.
 
“Pregnant or not, you’re a heavy eater” I tease her more.
 
“Jisooooo!” she stomp her feet.
 
“Aish stop teasing her, although they’re right baby you gained weight” Jisoo had a grin on her lips “but you’re the prettiest for me no matter how fat you’d become”
 
We all went on the dining table talking about things like the babies name or what would be their gender. I watch how happy we were, this is what I always dream at night. I didn’t know it’ll happen specially I’m with my wife, Jennie Kim Manoban.

THE END!