A Tale of 1000 Stars II (The Alternate Story)

Chapter 9

Tian

"I love you Tian..." those words keeps on playing on my mind since last night.

How I wish I can say it right back like how I always felt.

But I am still scared. There's still doubt in my heart that he will hurt me again... either intentionally or unintentionally.

My minds logic is to avoid him all the way. To be honest I came back here not with the intention to reconcile with Chief Phupha at all.

I seriously thought he might change his post location to other mountain or something, wasn't that what they always do? Wasn't it?

But here I am back with my heart issues, who still won't listen to me to forget Chief. I am afraid if I open my heart again to love... he will cast me away again like the last time I was here.

He seems too easy to push me away...

I know people makes mistake, but you can't blame me for wanting to be careful with my heart.

Its hurt when you've been denied from your loved one. You can say I'm a coward. But I am responsible for my own heart. Each decision I make is with consideration of not getting hurt again.

I guess, as I was never in a relationship... hence my fear of getting hurt for the second time go beyond normal?

Tian, give your heart a break!
I keep repeating this mantra on my mind. Trying to cast away all this longing for Chief.

That's it...

I'm gonna take one step at a time. Let the heart follow what it wants and let the mind be ready with all its needs...

But I know myself, I can't resist Chief.
Whenever he's near, I'll be weak and my body will just follow my heart without I even realized.

Tul always claim that I closed myself from other people, or sometimes clueless in regards of relationship or to the people who actually have interest in me.

He claimed that there are actually a number of our encounter friends, were actually interested in me, but due to my ignorance most of them just gave up.

I guess... I've always been self conscious with new people approaching. Beause I'll be always wondering their intentions, either its due to my family background and all.

Hence, I am never really fond with knowing new people.

But with Chief, its seems easy... cause he treat me like I am a nuisance in his life with his constant annoying face and nagging, so... I guess its feels like the first time I am being treat for being me.

He is also the first man that ever embrace me with care besides my family. My heart when crazy when he was caressing my lips yesterday and I am so close to just let him do whatever he want with me... and officially be my first...

I can feel my cheeks and ears heating as I think of it.

Don't let me started on his gaze, every time we look at each other for sure it feels like he see straight to my soul. And I feel open, but not that it makes me fragile and vulnerable, but it makes me feels free because he see all of me.

Oh my god Tian, wake up! Enough of Chief already

Kids...yup you are here for the kids.. lets do some work.

***

The next morning..

It is my first day back at school and I am looking forward for it.

"Aw.. good morning Rang"

"Morning...Nong Tian. Are you ready for school?"

"Yes Rang, I am so excited to spend the time with the kids. Do you still need to fetch me for school? I thought the trail is safe now?" I ask Rang as I am preparing to leave the house.

"Yes, actually we already let the teacher move around freely after they familiar with place, but your Chief seems adamant in ensuring Teacher Tian is extra safe." I rolled my eyes to Rang statement.

"My Chief huh?... Yeah right Rang, where's this so called Chief of mine today?"

"Glad you ask, your Chief ordered me to hand this letter for you today."

"Letter?" I am confused, why out of the sudden Chief writing me a letter?

"Yup, love letter I guess... so romantic na..." and Rang mocking me with his thick eyebrow.
I take the letter, I seriously wonder why with the sudden letter? But I just put it in my beg for now.

"Whatever Rang.. lets go to the school.. and please... you don't need to bother to accompany me everyday, I can managed. I promise if there's anything I will ask for you. Or else my routine will be just school, meeting Longtae and Khama and kids houses. If I ever feels like out of this mention area I'll ensure to let you or Yod informed."

"But Chief..."

"No worry, I'll talk to him later." I give my confident yet begging face so that Rang agree to let me walk by myself around the village. And he seem reluctant at first but I guess my begging face work.

"OK Nong Tian, but please keep your promise that you going to update us if anything. Or Chief going to cut our head off if anything happen to you." I smirk with Rang overrated statement.

"OK, OK I will... Now lets enjoy our morning walk together Rang... and here... for you." I pass Rang the extra sandwich I made this morning for breakfast.

Living in States this past two years has enhanced and developed my interest in cooking. So its my hobby now to cook since than.

I arrive earlier than the kids so I'm checking Chief letter while waiting for them to arrive.

~

Tian,

I know its late, but I'm start replying your letter now.
As soon as I leave your house, I miss you already Tian.
And I'm looking forward to see you everyday.
I might not be romantic and don't know if I'm doing this right but for you I'll do anything.
And by the way, I hate my work right now.

(Yeah right, we all know how much you love your work Chief...)

I'll be out of my station to be on the other side of control stations for few days.
I don't know if I can survive the distance and the fact of not seeing you but I'll try.
Please be safe when I'm away and ask Rang or Yod assistance if you need anything.

I love you Tian
I'll be back

Phupha

~


Aw few days?

How many is a few? Two? Three? Four? Why can't he gave me an exact numbers?

I've been antsy with myself about the fact that there will be no Chief presence for few days, until I did not realize that the kids were now all staring at me with a smirk on their  faces...

"K.Seetian what are you doing?" Ayi ask.

I quickly kept the letter away and greet the kids. We start our first day by catching up with everybody and time goes by.

***

It's day four and Chief still had not return.
I guessed when you were broken hearted and being ignorance... time flies without you even realized. Now, that your heart start beating for that particular person again, each seconds feels so torturing.

It's Friday evening, and I am currently checking the kids work book in the living area.

"Tian..." sounds like Chief voices but I might be imagining.

"Tian... are you home?"

Nope, its real!!! and I quickly (or practically run) to the front porch... and yes, there he is, still in his uniform attire with bags om his shoulder standing near my stairs.

"Chief..." and we just look at each other absorbing the view of each other to release all the longing that had been keeping inside.

=====

Oh please... it just four days... duhh.

You survived two years Tian!