Classic Rock Shorts

Froger: Victorian

“No, I didn't want sugar!” Freddie yells at Roger they were in Brian’s lab with that big boxy machine with a tarp over it. Freddie waves Brian’s remote at Roger, “You should know that!”

Roger tackles Freddie for a hug, “I’m sorry!”

They collide into the machine and it hums to life. Freddie screeches and headbutts Roger, a blue light swallows them up and things get dark. They wake up on a roof. The sound of horse hooves clopping on the cobblestone path startled them and they sat up quickly. Falling off the roof and onto a couple of hay piles. 

“What the fuck!” Freddie wails sitting up, “Where are we!”

Roger pulls at his shirt, “Why am I dressed like a Victorian boy?”

Freddie squishes his cheeks and makes Roger look out into the land, “Because we’re in Victorian England you fucking cheese stick!”

Roger furrows his brows looking around into the town, “On dear lord…”

They climb out of the hay and dust themselves off. They probably smell like they belong here too now. They make it out and walk down the cobbled streets. They heard more horses and people talking loudly. It didn’t really smell good out here either. A woman gives them a funny look and whispers to the man on her arm. Their eyes were on Freddie,

“Fuck,” Roger whispers pulling Freddie down the alleyway, 

“What?” Freddie whispers back ducking his head to not hit a dangling pipe,

“Freddie, what are you?”

“Uh.. British?” Freddie furrows his brows, 

“Your parents.” Roger tries again,

“Parsi Indian?”

“You aren’t.. you’re brown.” Roger whispers, “And we’re in a bad part of history.”

Freddie fiddles with his hair, “So should I be scared?”

“Most likely,” Roger says, glancing around, “Come on.”

They walk down the alley and behind a store they lean against the brick wall to rest for a minute, “We need to get back to our own time.” Roger says softly.

"I know this." Freddie shakes his head,  his stomach churns and he feels a sense of uneasiness wash through his core.

Roger leads him down the street their feet already hurt and the men both really hate Brian's machine,  and they both hate each other for fighting and getting in this mess.

"I already got a damn hole in my shoe." Freddie pipes,  "Why couldn't we be like those folks."  Fred tilts his head to a group of men and women dressed in their best with tons of jewelry on, "Does the machine hate us?"

Roger rolls his eyes, "Must be faith and bad luck since we fell off a roof when we got here and landed in filthy stinky hay." 

"At least it wasn't horse shit." Freddie whispers, making them both giggle like school girls.

They make it into the main part of town. The bustling shopping center. Tailors and seamstresses litter most of the shops, a general store, a grocer, one sweets store, a bookstore, and a large school seemingly looms over it all like a hawk watching its prey. They duo couldn't list off all the stores there were a lot crammed in.

They just knew their stomachs were growling just from smelling the fresh baked breads and other goodies. Freddie remembers last Christmas where they only had a tin of beans for the both of them. Times still weren't good and by the looks of it things wouldn't get better.

"I can't believe it." Roger grouches, "All these good foods and we can't have a single bite." 

Freddie got a look on his face that Roger knew all too well, "What are you thinking?" 

"You get all the ladies and I see a woman working behind the butcher's counter in that shop over there." He points.

Roger looks to where he's pointing at. An attractive auburn haired lady was cleaning the counter, "You want me to flirt with her and get free food from her?" Roger asks,  "Look Freddie I'm hungry and all but I don't want to become the next butcher special."

"Please just do what I say. I can steal us some food while she's head over heels for you. Cause there's no way we can find jobs unless you like shoveling horse shit." Freddie tells him, "We don't know how long we're going to be here." 

Now Roger wasn't a man with moral grounds. They've stolen before to get by, a few canned goods here, some bread there, nothing too bad. But here they have basically no point in being law-abiding citizens; they wouldn’t be born until another century later at most. 

Roger takes a breath and enters the shop Freddie is crouching behind him. The woman looks up at Roger,  she smiles.

"Welcome to O'Reilly's Butcher, sir." She smiles brightly at him., “Our daily special is Butcher’s Surprise.”

Roger asks her a few questions sounding interested in the special. He eyes Freddie shoving meats under his many layers of clothes. The woman offers him a cooked sample of the meat and Roger tries some, “Very good, madame. I will talk to my boss and see if we can-“

The woman breaks out in a scream seeing Freddie worming on the floor with tons of meat sticking out his shirt and trousers. She kicks at him and Freddie takes off running. Roger chases after him as the woman screams, “Thief!” at the top of her lungs.

A man slams Freddie into a wall his cane strikes Freddie over the head over and over again,

 “Are you a man or a mouse?” The man asks, seeing Freddie shaking and trembling.

“We are mice!” Roger screeches, grabbing Freddie by the wrist and fleeing down the sidewalk into the dusk. They don't know how but they wound up back at the barn. The hay stack still messed up.

The duo sees Brian in a big top hat searching around the barn with a small device in his hands. His head shoots up and he runs to them, "You fucking idiots!" 

"Happy to see you too." Roger sasses,

"You could have changed history!" Brian growls, "What did you two do!" 

"Stole food and flirted with the local girls." Roger grins.

Brian seemed to calm down,  "Well that isn't so bad." he smoothes his suit down and pulls a remote from his pocket, "Come on let's get back into the modern world." 

Freddie comes running back, "Sorry! Had to pee! Didn't want to use the outhouse!" 

Brian rolls his eyes and grabs Freddie's hand and Freddie grabs Roger's. Brian presses the button and grips onto them tight.

Freddie never thought he would be happy to see air conditioned rooms or a toilet. They were finally home. Hopefully they didn't screw up the past too much.