Maybe, probably | Hwang Hyunjin

𝟝𝟙

~ Soomi' POV ~

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"I'm going to see if she's okay." Jeongin insisted. This was already the 4th time he wanted to go check up on her. He was worried, more than any of us currently.

Honestly I don't even blame him, because he was the closest to her lately. And she basically saw him like her little brother. And he never wanted to make her feel lonely either.

"Sit down, she'll come out when she's ready. Stop worrying too much." Minho told him and usually his words would make everybody listen, but not this time.

"She locked herself into that room for 2 hours now, how do you expect me not to worry!?" Jeongin snapped at him and kept repeating the same things for hundredth time now.

It wasn't the first time he argued with his hyungs, but it was the first time he argued with Minho. Everybody fears Minho, and yet this boy attacked him, for Y/n.

"You're not the only one who's worried you know." Han argued with him. "Then why aren't we doing anything to help her?" he kept pressing.

"There's nothing we can do, get that into your head." Changbin snapped at him. Ever since San left her room, she locked herself into that bedroom and probably cried herself to sleep, while the rest of us were in the living room trying to calm down Jeongin.

At this point even San was quiet and not trying to break down those doors like he would usually do. He understood that she wanted to be alone and he respected her wish.

Hwang on the other hand was kicked out, by the owners of the house, Felix and me. No one could even look at him anymore, yet alone see him in their presence.

Again, San didn't even bother beating the shit outta him, but Jeongin was literally turning into a walking ball of anger. He despised him.

Seungmin also told him a lot of bad words and attacked him verbally. He explained, how hard Y/n tried to get in touch with his mother. How she begged her to let him see Yeji. But he never cherished that action.

Instead he just snapped at her, like she was doing something bad. And now he even lost every bit of respect in Yeji' eyes too. Last thing Seungmin told him was he deserved Y/n' slap more than his mothers. But seeing how she didn't even move, meant that he completely broke her.

And by that statement Seungmin broke Hyunjin, more than he himself ever could. He realized what he did, but it was too late to get ashamed and ask for forgiveness. He screwed up, big time.

"All we can do is focus on homework and wait,-" I tried to speak calmly but, "How can you think about school right now?!" Jeongin wouldn't take it.

"Jeongin-" Chan tried to interfere. "Why are you so obsessed with work, homework, school and fucking clothes, when your best friend is hurt because of that jerk!?" but he wouldn't even let him speak.

"Because she's crying on her bed right now, thinking she's not worthy of anything. BECAUSE HE MADE HER FEEL THAT WAY! And the only thing I know, as her best friend, is that she wants to be alone! You can't just barge into her room, wanting to comfort her, when she doesn't want anyone around!" and it was true.

She was a rainbow and he was color blind.

They started blinking at me, who suddenly snapped at Jeongin for the first time today. "She obviously needs time and none of us can do anything for her, except her herself. We can't heal her, we can't comfort her, we can only do our best in school and wait for her return."

"I still don't get what happened to that boy, for him to just snap like that." Changbin said. "He got mad because he didn't want Y/n to ever encounter her mother and find out his secrets. He wanted to protect her, but he failed." Seungmin spoke.

"They had beautiful memories, which ended in a bad way.. That's the only thing we'll remember. Don't ask anything about today, ever again." I reminded them, in case they wanted to talk to Hwang, or worse, to
Y/n.

"I already talked to him." Felix said, out gazes falling onto him. "What?" I just asked, not even knowing about this till now.

"While you were busy, I had a conversation with him about everything." he explained. "Well what did you talk about?" Han asked him.

"I asked him if he loved her and he just nodded as a response. So I continued and asked 'So why did you guys end? Why did you do that and leave her like this?'." he started speaking.

"He said 'Because,'." Felix paused, imitating exactly what Hyunjin said to him. " 'I don't know. I wasn't good for her, I hurt her, you know? I hurt her all the time and even now.. But now, now I meant what I said and I hated myself for it but I couldn't stop. She was so in love with me and I took advantage of it. I was toxic for her. But I loved her, I still love her. I think a part of me always will. But she deserves so much better, and.. And I think- I swear when I said that, the cracks in her heart were visible through her eyes. You could see the pain she was feeling just by looking at her face. But I guess you have to hurt someone, to help them..' "

"Why would he do it if he loves her, what the fuck?" Changbin commented. "That's the problem! He thinks he doesn't deserve something so he ruins it!" Jeongin snapped again.

"Fuck that bastard, don't even mention him around me anymore." he said, finally sitting back down and deciding not to bother Y/n. 

I pity all of them, for having to go through this. Seungmin was frozen there, on the doorway, staring at Yeji. And because of Hyunjin he never even managed to say hi.

It hurts that they're all going through something and no one can do anything to help themselves or others. Or if they even try to help someone else, the other person just doesn't appreciate their intentions.

This world is too cruel and too sad to live in.

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PHONEEEEEEE WHYYYYYY??

You DID NOT just play LoveSTAY while I was writing this. WHY DO YOU HATE MEEEEEE😭

I CAN'T GET OVER THAT FREAKING SONG, I ALWAYS CRY BECAUSE OF IT

I, WILLL NEVER MAKE YOU LONELYYYYY, YOU'LL ALWAYS BE BESIDE MEEE

LOVESTAY HEY HEYYYYY