alone again / Finished BxB /

flowers

Its not a sight you will see a lot. Looking into each others eyes while laying in a bed of flowers. The sun is brightly shining on our skin. The wind is isnt strong but just a slight breeze.

Xiever isnt looking looking straight trough my soul for the first time. He looks at me caring and not with stone cold eyes. He is finally showing some emotion.

Xiever looks up so his face is facing the sky "do you got anything u wanna do in live, like a bucket list maybe" he asks me. "Mhm i think i just dont wanna die with any regrets. I wan to do whatever i want to do for aslong as im alive" i awsner him.

We both sit up again and eat the sandwhiches Xiever brought with him. They arent as bad as they look like but i cant be the judge of good or bad food.

"Do you got anything u wanna do in live?" I ask him his own question. "I think i would wanna have someone i can spend it with you know. I guess that would be nice if its achievable" he says to me and looks me into my eyes again and gives me a little smirk.

We both finish the sandwhiches in a few minutes. We were probably both starving for food. "Your bruises" he says to me "whats with them?" I ask. Did something happen?? "Doesnt it hurt?" He asks for the thousend time again "like i said so many times before it doesnt hurt, dont worry" i say to him so he isnt worried.

It happend and i cant change time to stop that from happening.  If i couldve changed time i wouldve never let the accident happen and wouldnt ever step into the car.

Xiever comes closer to me so there only were only a few inches away from each other . He tilts his head a bit and moved his hand to my cheek were the most bruises are. And moves his tumb back and forth over my cheek. "I shouldnt have done that" he says to me and looks me straight into my eyes.

I put my hand on his hand and let is rest there. Its weird that the touch of someone could make u feel so loved and cared for. Strangely his touch makes me feel save like were in our own world without anybody to be there to disturb us.

It felt like it was just the 2 of without anything in the world. Just 2 floating souls in the nothingness touching each other and lighting up.

After a minute or so xiever puts away his again and let is rest on his lap. He takes a tiny orange flower next us. "Come closer" he says to me and i do as he says so. He puts the flower behind my right ear and smiles at me "perfect".

I take a red flower out of the field and put it behind his ear "perfect" i say just like he did. We both stay close to each other looking at each others eyes. I brush my hand trough his hair so i can see the flower I just put in there better and more visible. 

The red compliments his hazel eyes a lot. His bleached hair makes the red stand out even more then it already is. Its like the flower was made for him .

I slowly go back to how i was sitting so we have a bit more space between us. "You know what i never asked u" xiever says to me "what?" I ask him. Wtf does he wanna ask me. If its about the bruises again i will leave this seccond.

He lets out a little laugh and scratches the back of his neck like he always does when his shy or anxious or about to do something. "Ive never asked what your sexualty is" he laughs at me "im fine with both" i smile at him and he scratches the back of his neck again. "What about u?" I ask him. "Mhmm i am thinking bisexual but maybe pan, not really sure yet" he responds and scratches ones more and trows me a awkward smile.

I sit a bit more further away from him but xiever grabs my arm so i cant go to far. I smile at him and lay on my back and letting my head rest on his lap. I am so fucking tired and fuck no im not letting my head rest on the ground. 

"Thought u were going to leave me" he says to me and looks down to see my face.  The sun is hitting him from behind but the sun doesnt shine into my eyes. He looks better then ever. "Why would i?" I say to him and smile "ive never really told anyone i like guys too" he says and laughs at me awkwardly "same for me" i tell him.

Its halfway a lie bur halfway a truth. I told my old friends i kinda liked guys too but i never really came out fully before it was to late.

Xiever slowley raises his hand to my head and brushes away the hairs that were sticking on my forhead. He looks at me with such care and fully concentrated. Its so funny to see him like this, so concentrated at me and moving his fingers slowly trough my hair and slightly smiling. 

We stay like this for a few minutes.  Just having the comfortable silence. I stay still laying in his lap and having my eyes closed and feeling his fingers go trough my hair over and over again.

"Ive got a question" i say to him "yeah?" He say to me. I open my eyes again and see his face again. "Why is your roommate a girl?" I ask. I know its stupid and pretty much a bad question cuz either way he can be attracted to his roommate no matter what gender they got.

"Are u a jealous little princess" he says to me still stroking my hair. "Shut up" i say to him jokingly and smile at him. "I always have been good friends with her and she said she wanted a apartment and i had a extra room over and needed some extra money to afford the apartment anyways so she moved in with me, dhe moved in around 2 years ago when we were both 18" he tells me.

So i guess there was no reason to be jealous. He is just good friends with her and nothing more. Makes scenes though. If i was his girlfriend i wouldnt let him flirt around with guys in some flower field.

"Can i tell u something?" Xiever asks me like he needs permission to even speak "yeah sure" i respond. "This might sound stupid or cheesy or whatever the fuck but i never felt this good sober in a very long time" he tells me and smiles at me. I feel the same way to be completely honest. I mean i havent even felt good while being sober or intoxicated but i do feel good right now.

"Same for me" i say and smile at him. Xiever still is brushing his finger tips trough my hair like he has been doing for a hour or so now. Time passes so fast when im with him.

I went from not even talking to him to talking to him but probably never seeing him again to getting beat up by him to being in a flower field with him brushing his fingers though my hair.

Its crazy to what time and communication can do to a relationship. We have both shared stuff that we havent told others yet but now we both know it.

Like the fact that he also sees himself with guys and with girls. Maybe thats a other thing we both have in common.

"I should get going" xiever says to me and i sit up again. "I will take u home again" he says to me and grabs me by my hand. And walks over to the old rusty bike.

He sits on his bike again "hop on" he says and i do what he tells me to do. I put my hands on his shoulders again for support and stand on the little metal bars like a few hours ago with a totally diffrent feeling.

Xieved bikes slower then he was when we went to this place; Maybe he wants to spend some more time with me. I didnt want to end either but time moves every seccond.

I hold his shoulders pretty thight and more comfortable then i was on the way here. I guess we both dont want to leave and we are both more comfortble with each other then we were.

We arrive not long after at my apartment  and he drops me off there and waves me goodbye with a huge friendly smile on his face .

thats it for this chapter :))) hehehe