alone again / Finished BxB /

paper straws

                              Xievers pov :

Being in love with someone is a weird feeling. When even one look my way can make my heart jump and my my cheeks shotting red. Its new to me yet so exciting.

I like the way he smells, the way he tastes, the way he looks at me. I like his everything.  The tiny bit of hope behind his eyes and the faint scar on his leg. The smile line on his left side and the mole under his eye.

I like his slim body and boney shoulders. I like the faint freckles on him and the color in his cheeks. I like the way he looks at me whenever he sees me and the way he moves. You could say i am in love with him, over the moon even.

But somewhere deep down i am scared ass fuck for it. I am scared i will mess it up. I am scared he will get tired of me. I am scared for feeling so strongly for anyone really. I havent fell in love with anyone this bad before. Ive liked someone before but that was more out of lust. It wasnt how i feel with dash.

Dash is the type of person poets write about. The people that makes me have faith in the world. The one that can cheer me up at the end of the day. The one i would turn if i need a hug or a kiss on my forehead. He is like my own personal angel on earth.

"What are you thinking about" he asks me "thinking about you" i say cradling in his arms. "Cheesy" he says to me and i hear a low chuckle. "Dont ruin the mood" i say looking up to him. He rolls his eyes again like he always does.

"Its mai's bday soon" i say to him. "27th?" He asks me unsure. "24th but youre close" i say and laugh a tiny bit. "I have no clue what to give her" he says to me "just give her food she will be way happier. Last year we gave her a necklace and then after we went to get icecream and she was way happier with that then the necklace" i say laughing back at the memory.

Mai and me havent been friends for to long. Around 2 years i think. "Ive got a question" dash says "yeah?" I ask him. "How long have you known everyone?" he asks me. "Mhmm mai 2 years. Cylde for way to many i am not even sure. And dean for a few weeks before you" i say to him. "And apollo?" He asks me. "Around 4 months before you. Nobody really had a click with him except for you." I say to him, i dont even know why he wants to know but i guess i will tell him.

"I dont think I will be seeing apollo anymore" he says under his breath but i could still hear him. "Why?" I ask him confused, did something happen? "Oh for reasons i guess" he says to me but i could hear something else is going on. "You dont wanna tell me?" I ask him confused. I am kind of worried "maybe one day" he says to me.

"You got anything you want to know about me?" I ask him. "Mhmm, how did you grow up. You never told me about your parents or anything" he asks me calm. "Oh... well i grew up most part in a adoption home" i say and look his way. "My parents were to young to have a kid. Well thats what i have been told anyways. But it wasnt to bad honestly. Ive always liked to be more alone. So it wasnt to bad honestly. I had clyde and that was enough for me" i explain to him. When i am done he gives me a kiss on my head.

We stay in each others arms talking about everything and nothing for a few hours. Its nice talking about sweet nothingness. Honestly just being with him is enough.

"Do you wanna go out and get some drinks?" He asks me and i agree. We grab our jackets because the weather is more chilly today. Before we leave i fix his hair a tiny bit so he looks even better and he gives me a shy smile. We walk side by side more close like we normally do. I want to hold his hand and act like a normal couple but we both know thats not possible. Once ever while i walk agaisnt him .

We walk to a little store that sells some boba and some coffee and tea. I order a milk tea honey boba and he order a stawberry one.
We go sit somewhere on a tiny table infront of the store.

"Give me your hand" he says smiling at me. I give him a confused look and give my hand to him. He puts the paper from the straw around my ring finger and gives me a smile. I take mine to and out it around his finger. "Look at us being a cute couple" dash says laughing at me with a huge smile. I take my phone out of my pocket and take a picture of our hands.

He takes my hand and puts out pinks twisted in each other. "Take a picture now" he says to me with a huge smile. I take a picture of it again. "Can i post it on my story?" I ask him "if you want too" he says to me but i could see he is happy because of it. I post the picture to my Instagram story, ive got around 2k followers but they wont be to interested in it anyways. "It needs a song" i say to him. "Paper rings from taylor swift would be perfect" he says to me. I havent heared the song before but it sounds pretty good.

Because of his skinny hands it looks like were a boy and a girl. Maybe its bad even thinking about this but i am kindoff glad. I dont move my hand out of his and he doesnt look away even one bad. "Ur staring" i say to him trying to make his face turn red. "Admiring a beautiful person" he says to me still not taking his eyes off of me. Normally he wouldve been blushing and denying it.

A older lady walks past us and looks absolutely disquested at us and spits next to our little table. She loudy speaks about gay people being bad to her younger daugther as she walks away. I take my hand of out his and scratch my neck and clear my troat. "Sorry" i wisper under my breath but loud enough for him to hear.

He finishes his drink quickly and doesnt look my way anymore. We walk back to his apartment again and the same distance as before is between us again. It isnt completely my fault, but still it feels that way.

I want to talk to him so i follow him back into the apartment. "Are you mad at me?" I ask him "you think i am mad at you?" He says with a smile. "I knew you were uncomfortable so i made some distance between us" he says to me. I dont respond to him but i just give him a hug. I squeeze him even tighter and i could hear him chuckel a little.

"I thought u were mad at me" i say after a few minutes of hugging him. "Nah i am mad at the homophobic bitch" he says. I barely hear him curse before so i guess he was extra mad. "You even stopped looking at me so i thought u were" i say to him and a tiny voice crack appears in my voice.

"You know i cant be mad at you for the life of me" he says to me and takes my hand. "You should probably go home again. Jade hasnt seen you in like 2 days" he laughs at me "you just want me gone" i say sarcastic to him "i will bring some clothes next time so i dont have to keep sleeping in your clothes" i say to him and give him a kiss on his head and leave his house.

I went back home by a bus. Thankfully it isnt to far away from each other. I open the door and see jade looking at me likr a mad mother. "Where were you 2 whole days?! Not even one single text" she says annoyedat me and i apologize to her. "Ive got some tea though" i say to her and we talk about what happend these past 2 days.  Even thl she looked so mad before now she is listeting to me and smiling and squirming over everything i tell her. Of course i left out a certain part... but she doesnt need to know that anyways.

I hope everyone liked the xiever pov but thats it for this chap <3