alone again / Finished BxB /

waffles

Waking up next to you is diffrent then the times before. Before u were merely just a friend, more like a stranger or a friend of a friend. But now its all diffrent. The way i look at u the way we touch the way we say were just friends. When were alone youre all mine and im all yours but around friends? Its not really sure what we are. I guess both of us arent fully ready to tell them what we really are. To tell them what is happening behind closed doors. The conversations the touches the laughs, everything. 

Youre laying on my chest right now. You look more at peace then ive ever seen you before. The way your eyes are fully relaxed and your lips. Your eyebrow lightly scrunches whenever youre deep in your dream. Your longer bleached hair falls behind your face so i can see you clear. The tiny crook in your nose and the mole under your eye. Your rosey cheeks lit up like always.  Its probably from the heat of our bodys.

Ive always tried to find out what people were thinking about me. But with you, im to scared to even try and think about it. Im just going with the 'life in the moment'.  like those cheesy quotes you scroll past in a few secconds and roll your eyes too. 

Its weird to feel like this. To feel a sense of love from someone. Is it weird for you too xiever? I dont why but i cant understand what your thinking. Do you feel like youre save by me or are you watching your back the whole time? So many questions that maybe one day will be awnsered, but for now i got to keep wondering.

I look over to the alarm clock and its 11pm. I dont want to wake you up just yet so i guess i will just wait. The sun is already fully up and the wind is going trough the room. A faint smell of fresh flowers and fresh cut grass.

Not even 5 minutes later xiever wake up. "Are you awake?" Xiever wispers "yeah" i awnser. Hes still laying on my chest not moving a tiny bit. Xiever rubs his hand agaismt his eyes and lifts his head up to look at me. "Goodmorning" he says with a sheepish smile. I cant help but smile at him.

He closes his eyes again but keeps the tiny smile on his face. "Are you tired?" I ask him still having my arms around him. "No, just need to wake up" he says to me and crawls against me even more. "Dash" he says "yeah?" I ask him. "You smell good" he says and takes a deep breath taking in my scent. "Thanks" i respond. 

I let one of my arms go off of him and brush my fingers trough his hair and push it aside so i can see his full face again. It looks kind off messy but even with messy hair he looks perfect. The straight hair is easy to brush trough with my fingers. Around 30 minutes later xiever opens his eyes again.

"We should probably wake up" he tells me "probably" i say hugging him even tighter then before. "Dash" he nags at me and laughs at me a tiny bit. "Let me go" he nags again with a smile on his face.  "No" i say holding him thight to my chest. "Youre good here" i say to him qnd give him a kiss on his head. I let him go from my arms and he rolls beside me on my bed.

He starches himself and then looks my way. The sun is hitting his eyes making the hazel eyes more lighter then normal. He gives me a tiny smile and then stands up from the bed. "Come on" he says to me standing infront of me. "Wake up" he says to me laughing. He takes my arm and drags me off the bed.

"Fine" i moan and stand up. We both walk into the livingroom. Ive bought some cereal and milk for us to eat. "Something different" he asks me surprised when he saw that i broight the cereal out. "You like cereal more right?" I ask him. "Well yeah but u didnt have to buy it for me its fine" he reassures me "im fine with cereal too" i say to him while grabbing the bowls.

I fave him the cereal and we both eat in silence like always. It isnt a awkward silence, its more comforting. After were done i wash the dishes while xiever sits on his phone doing whatever.

"What do you wanna watch?" I ask him siting next to him on the couch. "Whatever u want too" he says to me and i put on some random channel, we wont be focusing on that anyways."do you have plans for today?" I ask him. "I think the group wants to hang out today so if u want too you can join us?" He asks me. "Sure is dean coming too?" I ask "probably, he usually comes with us anyways" he says to me with a smile.

"Ive got a question" i say "what is it?" He asks me. "How will you explain that youre in my apartment again and spend the night?" I ask him. I dont know if i shouldve asked it but i think i need too. One day he has to explain it to them anyways. He lets out a deep sign and just shrugs his shoulders. "You dont want to come out yet, right?" I ask him "i want to tell them youre mine, i want everyone to know it even the whole world. But im to scared " he says to me and puts his hand on my cheek. I cant say im disappointed because i understand where he is coming from, but i am not pleased either.

"Are you okay with that dash?" He asks me with his puppy eyes after i didnt awnser him. "Yeah" i say shortly "it's fine by me" i let out a tiny sign. "I really wish i could be open for you" he says to me and slightly pounds his lips and scratches the back of his neck. "Yeah" i say.i dont want to say im upset even though i kinda am.

"I will tell the rest were coming" xiever says to me, i knot yes to him. I go to the bathroom and put on some calone and brush my teeth amd try and untangel my hair tiny bit. I take a quick shower letting the water run down on me. I put on underwear and put a towel around my waist . Suddenly i hear a knock on the door. "Can i come in" i hear xievers voice "Sure" i say half forgetting im not even dressed.

He opens the door and look shocked. I see his cheeks getting red in a matter of secconds. He scratches the back of his neck and looks away into a corner. "Do you need anything?" I ask him trying to act like i dont how he is reacting to me. "Uhh just uhhh" he stammers over his words and doesnt take his eyes of the corner. "Xiever" i say to him stepping to him closer so he has to look at me. I secretly like the way he is reacting to me. To my body, to my everything. "Tell me what you need" i say to him ina lower voice. "Just a toothbrush" he says trying not to look at me. "Anything more" i ask him, i know damn well what im doing to him right now but i act clueless. "No" he says quickly. I take out a new toothbrush for him and hand it to him briefly brushing my fingers agaisnt his hand. I dont know whats possessing me right now or were the confidence is coming from but wont stop whatever this is.

Xievers face is still fire red and i can see his breathing is getting more rapid, probably because he is shy. Xiever enters the bathroom instead of standing in the doorway and puts tootbpaste on the brush and then brushes his teeth. I keep looking at him, he can see me staring trough the mirror reflection. "Stop staring" he says to me after he spit the toothpaste out. "Do you really want that?" I say to him approaching his back. I close the door and i could see him getting even more red in color and like he knew what was about to happen.

"Dash" he says to me "we cant be late" he says and turns around so were extremely close to each other. "Just tell them im sick" i say smiling at him. "Mhm" he says to me "no" he says to me and looks at me proud. "Lame" i nag to him and roll my eyes. "Not even a kiss?" I ask him and come closer to him.

Hehe thats it for this chap