alone again / Finished BxB /

flashbacks pt. 2 *long*

But i cant do this. I really cant do this.  No matter how much i want this, its bad. "Please say something" Elijah begs me and i could see a single tear falling from his eyes.

He puts his head agaisnt my chest knowing he lost. "Please dash" he says to me begging me even more. "I wanted it to be us" he says again. I dont respond to anything he is saying. I am just looking blank to a wall.

I could hear him cry  from underneath me, but i dont want to look at him. I cant forgive him. I dont even know how our friendship will be like after all this. But for now i need time to think. "Please dash" he begs me for the last time and i could hesr his voice crack in pain. "We should go home" i say plainly trying not to show a grain of emotion. He pulls his head back up looking in my face with tears in his eyes and shakes his head in disbelief. He takes a step back from me and stares at my blank expression.  "I will go get the others" i say to him flatly. I know he is my bestfriend but right now he feels like a stranger, i am treating him that way though.

I go back inside trying to push myself trough the crowed of people. I take a mini stop at the bar and quickly take 2 more shots trying to stop thinking about this all. I look around the crowed to spot noah and hayden. I could see hayden pretty quickly. His dark red hair is easy to spot with the blue shining lights on beat of the music.

I walk his way trough the people and see him being slightly pissed of at us leaving him alone. "Where is noah were going back" i tell him loud so he can hear me. "Noah is there" he responds pointing to the back were a dirty blond hair guy is making out with a girl. "Lets go get him" i say to him "its still early, its only 11pm whats wrong?" He asks me "oh nothing" i lie to him. Both of us still have to yell to understand each other. The loud music feels louder then it ever did before.

I go to noahs way and when he spots us he looks pissed off at us. "Youre cock blocking me you dick" he says laughing to me. When he saw i didnt laugh at his joke he looked haydens way with a confused look. Hayden just pulls his shoulders up confused. We all walk to the excist where Elijah is waiting for us.

I walk first out of the excit and could see Elijah hurt face when i walked out of the door. He brushed away his tears and put his hair more infront of his eyes so you couldnt see the red tone in them to much. Noah and hayden look at us confused when were all silent while walking to my car. "anything wrong?" Noah asks us but me and Elijah both dont respond to his question.

The shots i took earlier are starting to hit me like a ton of bricks. I know i shouldnt be the one driving right now. But all i can think of is how bad i want to go home and sleep this all off. Ordering a taxi is to expensive and would make us have to wait awkwardly in silence while we wait for it to arrive. I drove the car not sober before anyways, it shouldnt be such a big deal.

I grab my car keys out of my pocket and we all get in the car. Hayden and i noah already took the back seats. The only seat thats free is the front seat. Elijah looks pissed off but he sits next to me without looking at me or saying a thing.

I start up the car and turn on the lights. "Are you sure you should be driving right now" Hayden asks me and i just give him a not. Selfish, i know. I drive out of the parking lot into the normal road. Everything is going smooth so far. I put on the radio so the silance isnt to awkward. The first song coming up is a love song. And i clench my jaw. The seccond and third song are also love songs. I get so pissed off i turn it off and drive in silance.

Hayden and noah are both quietly in the back looking confused at each other. My thoughts are everywhere, but not at the road. Its like a fog in my brain. I have to submerge into the highway lane. I try and keep my head cool and i take a deep breath.

I didnt see the truck.

The lightsare coming closer to us. I could hear a honk coming closer and closer to us and i try to swerve to car away from it.