Xelqua Rising || The Lost One AU

13.A/N

Hello everyone! I don't usually do author's notes like these, but I decided to make one just this once. This is just a casual rambling that I'm not even going to pretend to edit, so if you're not into that, go ahead and skip to the next chapter. I don't mind.

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These past few months, I have fallen in love with the idea of Watcher! Grian even though I haven't actually watched Evolution SMP yet. I just think that it's such a cool concept! Soon I found a few AUs and gobbled them up like nothing else, lol.

One thing that I found in the ones I read/watched was that they all seemed to spend no time with Grian being a proper Watcher and instead started when he ran away and joined Hermitcraft. It made me wonder what the Downside Up was like. Was it all bad for him or was there some good times he had too?

I started playing with the idea of creating a fanfiction/AU that tells the whole story. (Well, with exception to Evo itself.) I wasn't so sure that I really wanted to commit myself to that, because when I wrote fanfiction when I was younger it was the cringiest thing ever. Everything was beyond forced and I tended to write myself into corners more than often.

I told this to my friend Sheep, and they encouraged me to just go for it and see where it goes. And boy, I'm glad I listened to them!

This entire thing has been beyond fun to write! I came in not really having a plan other than "a long term fic that tells the full story." I wanted to fully explore everything, and so far, I think that I have done that. Largely, I am writing spontaneously. When I sit down to write, I usually have as much clue as to what's about to happen as you guys do. I often surprise myself with the outcomes. For example, when Miesall came to Grian's aid during the Xiomara incident, I thought that they were going to have a cute moment. Instead, I found that Grian was lashing out and then he found about his past.

And speaking of Miesall! I wasn't sure about him at first. I usually don't like OCs in fandoms. They usually end up awkwardly inserted into things and then don't blend in with the other characters. However, it didn't seem right that canon characters would populate the Downside Up, so that meant all the Watchers had to be OCs. Seeing as I wanted Grian to stick around for awhile, I figured that he would probably befriend someone as he settled in. That someone, I decided, was Miesall. He started off as a flat character, but I have found that he has seemed to quickly developed himself. I really like him now.

I especially loved this past chapter, just seeing Grian and Miesall interact with each other. I didn't realize that I'd be so playful as to reference a kink, but with the way the conversation was going, it seemed like a natural joke. I wanted to have another little tidbit in which Miesall admits to knowing that Grian isn't a masochist, only to immediately remind Grian that he's been watching him for years (ie probably knows what he's actually into). Grian would then get really flustered and quickly shush the Watcher, who might be smirking at the reaction. This didn't really fit anywhere though, so I decided not to force it. It might have been a little too much anyway; I'm not sure.

Juden! Okay, so I suck at coming up with names. I usually use name generators to steal/give me inspiration. When it came to Juden, though, I got lazy. There was a joke me and Sheep had once which led to me jokingly saying that one of the Watchers would be named Judy. I-- don't ask. Anyway, the name Juden is a nod to that because what other names are there?

The Great Ones! They take balance very seriously. The male is there to maintain order and justice. Hence, he is the one standing over the Void. The female, on the other hand, is there to show love. They work in harmony together, creating a balance. I've played with the idea that they are actually the same being, just with two different vessels. I'm not quite sure about that though--

Culture! I really wanted to explore what a society that had hundreds of detached eyes would be like. The first thing that came to me was that since they didn't look through the same points like humans, eye contact did not quite make sense. Secondly, if they thought it was okay to continuously watch a group of people whether they consented or not, it meant they cared little of privacy. That's where the idea that privacy = suspicious came from. And since they wanted to keep tabs on everything and possibly try to keep things from the Listeners, that's the idea of a language based in hand signs came from.

Honestly, the more I developed their culture, the more it made me think of disability and neurodiveristy. Like, for example, neurodivergent people (like me) tend to not like eye contact. It feels uncomfortable, and learning the making eye contact to looking away ratio can be difficult and distracting. The Watchers have never attempted eye contact before, and so they likely failed to realize that there's an aspect of looking away as well... sort of? Like, eye contact is different from staring into someone's eyes. A lot of the Watchers don't really realize how demeaning they can be, and want Grian to feel welcome, so they attempt eye contact. However, as they get really uncomfortable, they tend to look away like they usually do.

Language! Oh boy, it really excited me when I thought of the idea of making a language that used signs. Oh and I got the idea of using the Galactic alphabet for Language from something I've read before that said some forms of Japanese uses some Chinese characters. Once Grian becomes fluent in Language, I think I will change words in Language from Galactic to italicized English. The reason being, it's easier to read, lol. Also, having it be difficult to understand really helps the reader with Grian's feelings of just being in a place in which he can't quite connect with others; that there is this barrier between himself and others. And when he is fluent, that barrier isn't there... for communication, at least?

Future plot points! I've got a few major things planned. I'm not going to spoil my own book though so I have to be careful what I say. It's so tempting to jump right to the exciting parts, but I stop and tell myself 'hey, what's the rush? Just go slow and savor the story. If you go too fast, you'll miss on some fun bits.' I really can't to show you guys what I mean though!

As I am writing this, it is March 23rd. I started writing my fic on the 2nd. It absolutely blows my mind that I somehow have written and polished 12 chapters in this short amount of time?! I really did not mean to do that! Even more surprisingly, I did not realize that at this point, Grian would still be a regular human. I expect that will change soon, but who knows! Like I have said before, I am totally winging this.

Finally, I want to thank you for all sticking around and reading my story. I hope that you have all enjoyed it so far as much as I have enjoyed creating it! I'll see you all in the next chapter. :)