Vulnerable

October 27, 2017 (Age: 16)

Dear Diary,

Oh my god! I have 3 guys to update you on: Garrett, Aiden, and Shawn.

Firstly, lets talk about Garrett. So you've heard our whole issue. About Isaac and I being a thing and Garrett being against it then 3 months of us flirting, he called it off, then him and my friend (who later broke up)? Yeah, him? Well something happened tonight. And something as in possible flirting. Let me explain.
Tonight was the Dance Society movie night. I was there to help run the concession and I was also the clean up crew after the movie was done. Garrett was also there to help with the clean up. Probably 3/4 way through the movie, Garrett showed up and sat down and silently watched the movie. By time the movie ended, we actually ended up having an actual one-on-one conversation. That surprised me to be honest, considering that we've barely talked in months.
For the clean up to start, Garrett asked me if I wanted to help him go fold some chairs and move tables. I said yes and we walked to go help. I felt as if we talked the entire time too. I talked to Garrett about his recent injury and indirectly expressed my concern. After the clean up was done, Garrett originally was going to catch a ride with Allie and take him to this party. By time we finished cleaning, Allie never showed up. Being the nice person I am, and not leaving him stranded, I offered him a ride to wherever he needed to go. He accepted my offer and he wanted me to drive him to the local seniors center for where his grandpa is staying. On the drive there, he rested his arm on the window and sighed. I glanced over at him and asked what is wrong. He expressed how tired he is and doesn't really feel like going to this party. Also, when we were in my car and when we were helping cleaning, I felt like we were giving each other "the look". Like the flirty kind of look. Often when I would look at him and talked, he was either grinning/smiling at me or looking directly at me. I can't really tell if I am overanalyzing all of this. I can't remember if he actually said this but I thought he said (when we were heading to my car for when I was going to drive him to the seniors lodge) that he hopes that Allie doesn't come. Was that an indirect for him wanting to spend more time with me? I don't know. I told my sister that if he does flirt with me or wants me back, that I'll friendzone him. But tonight was clear that we were flirting and I don't know how to not be a god damn flirt to guys that I find attractive. So I don't know if he'll end up initiating things between us again. May I also add that he did break up with my friend because he said that he wasn't really feeling it anymore. Did he break up with her because he began to start to like me again? I don't know. . .

Now guy #2. . . Aiden. For the past few weeks (probably 2-3 now) he's been talking to me a lot, and always is sparking up a conversation with me, and I would look at him and sometimes he'd already be staring. Keeping those in mind, I am 90% sure that he does have a crush on me. To me, its obvious. I think. Unless I am overanalyzing everything, but I think I am right.
This also happened 2-3 times already; long story short, Aiden has been nice enough to walk me to my car in the high school parking lot. He also knows that I have a blog and he told me that he wants to read it one day. At the moment, there is nothing major going on between us but I am VERY sure that he is getting a crush on me.

Finally, I would like to talk about Shawn. He is a 19 year old who is taking his grade 10 classes, long story short. I've talked to him a lot lately, only at school. He's super nice and friendly.

At least I'm kind of forgetting Isaac.

Wish me luck with my love life,

Sarah